Something to lighten the mood

[Cal Weldon]

I just found out that doing nothing is kinda hard. How do I know when I'm finished?

 

[Cal Weldon]

You don't know what you got till it's gone. I'll say. Honey's out shopping and I didn't notice the TP was empty until just now.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Balanced diet? Of course. Slice 'o' pizza in each hand.

 

[AllenB]

.

 

[Cal Weldon]

I was myself once. It didn't go well. I went back to being that other guy. Now I am beside myself.

 

[Cal Weldon]

.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Some wise guy in the bar last night looked at my beer belly and joked, is that Budweiser or Miller?

I said there's a tap underneath, you tell me.

 

[Cal Weldon]

One guess as to what this store sells.

 

[Cal Weldon]

For those who still want to believe the earth is flat, go ahead.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Okay so I do my share of drugs. Still, I have a good side too. When I see a cute puppy stranded on the side of the road, I get a real soft spot.

 

[HumbleDeer]

That is a really cute milkdoggo puppy. Are you keeping it?

 

[Cal Weldon]

As long as the owner didn't get my plate number. Also, the lady who lives downstairs likes it when we remove our shoes so this might get a little complicated.

 

[Cal Weldon]

I think they should make sleeping pills in the shape of a pillow.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Why is there no mouse flavoured cat food?

 

[Cal Weldon]

I think suitcases should have a built in scale so you know how much it weighs before you get to the airport.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Found in a park near here. Over 1000 fairy houses that started showing up a number of years ago. The idea caught on and now it's a great place to take the yung'uns.

Too bad I didn't have a nice camera and especially if I knew how to use it.

 

[AllenB]

Enchanting.

 

[Galu]

A man meets a fairy.

"I grant you 2 wishes", says the fairy.

"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty", says the man.

He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.

"And your second wish?", the fairy asks.

"Another one of those please"

 

[PRR]

I think suitcases should have a built in scale so you know how much it weighs before you get to the airport.

We have a suitcase scale. We never go to an airport. We put a Corgi in a bag and hang the bag on the scale to weigh her/him.

 

[wg_ski]

Trying to figure out what size heartworm pill to use?