Something to lighten the mood

[Cal Weldon]

Microwave too long
Microwave too high

Edge trimmer.

 

[system7]

I shall go back to a saucepan. I have had similar explosive problems with eggs in the Microwave. I know when I am beaten.

And No.. we've already bought edge trimmers.

Anybody else going to have a guess what it is? You'll want one when you know, er, IMO.

 

[soundbrigade]

Microwave too long
Microwave too high

Edge trimmer.

And every now and them take out the poor ridge and stir it a little.

 

[system7]

Seems you can buy Microwave gadgets for a lot of things.

A Porridge maker with a lid that lets out the steam.

I have used poached egg makers and crispy bacon trays at work.

Quite useful for better bacon and egg rolls.

But I'm retired now, so saucepans and frying pans work for me.

 

[soundbrigade]

I am retires too, but I love cocking, so the micro (we say just 'micro' in our country) is just on rare occassions when I have cocked a dinner for two (and will it all alone) and have to heat up the second serving a day or so later.

 

[Galu]

I love cocking

Time to consult the spell checker methinks!

 

[soundbrigade]

So bad our langages are so defferunt. Many jokes playing with words fall flat to the ground if trying to translate them to Swedish or English.

 

[Galu]

Talking about cooking...

 

[Galu]

P.S. I've cocked up a few dinners in my time.

I'm an utterly hopeless cook.

 

[KaffiMann]

That's part of the fun Magnus.
Come on, let's hear some Swedish words of wisdom in direct translation.

I'll share one:
Original: "Du skal tidlig krøkes om du god krok skal bli!"
Direct: "You shall early "bend" if you good hook shall be!"
Literal: "You should be formed/hardened by experience from early on if you want to become a good and wise old man!"

 

[soundbrigade]

I am trying, but I can't. Brain constipation ....

Here's one that may work. A watch-maker/optician orders a new sign to his shop. When he had it delivered and hung up he complains:
- There ought to be a wider space between watches and and and and and optics.

 

[Cal Weldon]

If you hadn't done the literal, to me:

Direct: "You shall early "bend" if you good hook shall be!"

Would mean:

If you are not stubborn, you will make a good partner.

 

[Galu]

A chap sat next to me on the bus and pulled a photo of his girlfriend from his wallet.

He said, "She's beautiful isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife."

He asked, "Why, is she a stunner?"

I replied, "No, she's an optician."

 

[Galu]

The optician just took my broken glasses from me to mend them.

She says the repair will only take 5 minutes.

I can't see that happening.

 

[AllenB]

@Steve, the microwave is all wrong for porridge. You can buy it finely chopped but it still doesn't taste right to me.

So, is that a heating element? Is your device something to do with flooring?

 

[Galu]

Is it a garden waffle maker, Steve?

 

[levistubby]

Spirits, as per origin of alcohol:
Whisky from malted grains, mostly wheat and barley.
Rum from sugar cane.
Brandy from distilled wine, mostly grape but others too.
Gin from juniper berries.
Vermouth is flavored brandy.
Vodka from potato

Gin is not made from juniper berries. They are only used to flavour it, together with various other "botanicals".

I have ben on a tour around the Bombay Sapphire and was surprised to hear that they buy in the raw alcohol and then add the flavours to it.

 

[Galu]

Scotch whisky is raw spirit before flavour is added to it.

It needs to rest in oak for at least three years before emerging as the finished article.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Yes levi, we had a go at the potato vodka thing so while we're at it:
Along with the gin,
Rum is made from an assortment of sugars and refined sugar sources. Anything that can be classified as a sugar counts.
Brandy is distilled wine yes, but if not made from grapes must be labelled as such.
Gin, as you say, is made from any number of things, mostly grain alcohol, then flavoured. Juniper #1 on the list.
Vermouth is a strange one. You take wine, add liquor and flavours and depending on your goal you may or may not distill it. Too many variables for this thread.

 

[Cal Weldon]

It needs to rest in oak for at least three years before emerging as the finished article.

And that be fine lad, but can ya nay give me the answer no one seems to want to.

If the spirit caramel does all the heavy lifting why in heck is there any concern about single malt vs. blended? Why is the credit not given where it's due? Anyone can soak it in properly burnt barrels (the real smoothing factor) for however long they like, but by golly lad, where does the truth in this matter lie?

I'll be tucking me head back under me kilt now, awaiting the barrage. Time for a wee dram of the finest.