I just saw a Polident ad. One of the lines they used while doing the computer generated stuff was:
If your mouth could talk.
Now, I’ve heard the term ’speaking out of your ***, and I know about the stage show Vagina Monologues, but when they say if your mouth could talk, I admit to being a little confused.
If your mouth could talk.
Now, I’ve heard the term ’speaking out of your ***, and I know about the stage show Vagina Monologues, but when they say if your mouth could talk, I admit to being a little confused.
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You already got it, Cal. As much as there is to get, anyway - that's supposed to be the whole joke right there.
(Wait - you already get that part too. Never mind.) 🤓
(Wait - you already get that part too. Never mind.) 🤓
Since I am watching the world Junior Hockey tournament right now, here in August, yes August, I was wondering about some things. Like why the puck are you playing hockey in the middle of summer, and I’m feel pretty pucking good having a beer while watching a game on ice while it’s hot outside. Does it makes sense? Who the puck cares I say. There are three sports things overlapping this afternoon so I am making good use of the PVR and of course the refrigerator. The cat is out shopping so the mouse can play. Albeit by himself but playing with yourself can be fun right?
Wait, did I say that out loud? That’s creepy.
Shhhhhhh! Back to the sports.
Wait, did I say that out loud? That’s creepy.
Shhhhhhh! Back to the sports.
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On Saturday Night Live years ago, Charles Barkley was the guest host.
They had him play a little one-on-one with Barney. It got a little rough.
Barnet had stuffing coming out, and one eyeball hanging.
They left the stage hugging and singing Barney's song.
Best Barney bit ever.
Of course they have to play hockey in the Summer. The Winter season is occupied with soccer finals ...
I didn't see this even though it followed my post!
I have just this lil guy, about 40g or so, most likely a male - females are expensive.
I got him as a juvenile in 2009, so he is 3 years older than my eldest child 😄
Not my joke! I don't know these people.
***********************
Pande, a Government bureaucrat, was flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him was Gary Kasparov, the world Chess Champion. Pande had always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately started a conversation with Gary.
Kasparov: "How would you like to play me for 500 Rs. ?"
Pande: "But you are too good - you will beat me and I will lose my money!".
Gary: "How about if I play left-handed"?
"Then I might have a chance," thought Pande and he accepted the offer.
Kasparov checkmated our Panditji in 4 moves.
Pande was still scratching his head as he left the airplane. Upon reaching Mathura, Pande told Panda about the game he had with Kasparov.
Panda: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai, Pande". (You're an absolute fool, Pande)
Pande: "Kyon" (Why)?
Panda: "Are Chootiya! Gary Kasparov Left-handed hai!". (You Stupid! Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed!).
***********************
Pande, a Government bureaucrat, was flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him was Gary Kasparov, the world Chess Champion. Pande had always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately started a conversation with Gary.
Kasparov: "How would you like to play me for 500 Rs. ?"
Pande: "But you are too good - you will beat me and I will lose my money!".
Gary: "How about if I play left-handed"?
"Then I might have a chance," thought Pande and he accepted the offer.
Kasparov checkmated our Panditji in 4 moves.
Pande was still scratching his head as he left the airplane. Upon reaching Mathura, Pande told Panda about the game he had with Kasparov.
Panda: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai, Pande". (You're an absolute fool, Pande)
Pande: "Kyon" (Why)?
Panda: "Are Chootiya! Gary Kasparov Left-handed hai!". (You Stupid! Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed!).
Pande (or Pandey) is a Brahmin (priestly) caste.
Panda is a junior priest, the ones who deal with arrangements for pilgrims, but do not perform the rituals.
Pandit is the description for those who actually do the rituals, it is also a fairly common surname.
The city of Mathura is a prominent pilgrimage center for Hindus.
Any more description would need a new, and religious thread.
Just putting above in context, what may be funny (like slang) may not be funny for those who do not know the meaning.
But the implication that success in chess depends on playing left or right handed was too funny!
Panda is a junior priest, the ones who deal with arrangements for pilgrims, but do not perform the rituals.
Pandit is the description for those who actually do the rituals, it is also a fairly common surname.
The city of Mathura is a prominent pilgrimage center for Hindus.
Any more description would need a new, and religious thread.
Just putting above in context, what may be funny (like slang) may not be funny for those who do not know the meaning.
But the implication that success in chess depends on playing left or right handed was too funny!
Thank you. After I posted I discovered that some of these words may be very rude or offensive. If you feel it is too naughty to leave on the board, please use the [! Report] link so AllenB or another will take it down.
FWIW, I found other versions with other peoples and one even got to 8 moves before Gary checkmated.
The C word is rude, but the rudeness is less when used between acquaintances.
It means a fool who is crazy, either in love or not in his senses due to chemical brain altering substances, alcohol among others. Can be explained as 'big fool' or 'bl**dy fool'.
Of course, you can also be a drunken fool in love...
A Hindu friend of mine was in a relationship with a Muslim girl in Bangalore, her family sent her to Africa when they found out.
He drank too much in her memory, got married later, but died young of cirrhosis and diabetes. Perfect description of Ch**tiya.
Budhu (or Buddhu) means fool, idiot or nitwit, more or less, so not at all offensive.
Rest assured, I found the post funny rather than offensive, so at least I see no need to report it for moderation.
I am fluent in four languages, and can get by in a few others.
So above statement is from somebody who speaks the language daily.
And in the city of Surat, you are considered a wimp if you do not speak such rude language...it is famous for food, textiles, and diamonds also apart from the rude language.
It means a fool who is crazy, either in love or not in his senses due to chemical brain altering substances, alcohol among others. Can be explained as 'big fool' or 'bl**dy fool'.
Of course, you can also be a drunken fool in love...
A Hindu friend of mine was in a relationship with a Muslim girl in Bangalore, her family sent her to Africa when they found out.
He drank too much in her memory, got married later, but died young of cirrhosis and diabetes. Perfect description of Ch**tiya.
Budhu (or Buddhu) means fool, idiot or nitwit, more or less, so not at all offensive.
Rest assured, I found the post funny rather than offensive, so at least I see no need to report it for moderation.
I am fluent in four languages, and can get by in a few others.
So above statement is from somebody who speaks the language daily.
And in the city of Surat, you are considered a wimp if you do not speak such rude language...it is famous for food, textiles, and diamonds also apart from the rude language.
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Ok thanks Naresh, I assume this will be politically correct.
A Budhu goes into a chemist shop and asks for a deodorant.
The shop assistant asks "do you want a roller ball or aerosol"
The Budhu replies " No I only want one for under the arms"
A Budhu goes into a chemist shop and asks for a deodorant.
The shop assistant asks "do you want a roller ball or aerosol"
The Budhu replies " No I only want one for under the arms"
The shop assistant asks, "Ball or aerosol?".
That's one of my faves, but the Budhu simply becomes a 'bloke' when I tell it! 😀
That's one of my faves, but the Budhu simply becomes a 'bloke' when I tell it! 😀
