Something to lighten the mood

811Pumpkin.jpg
Depleted 811a to lure the children.
The squirrels and raccoons will get the candy if I just leave it out there. I will be watching the trees tomorrow for candy wrappers dropping.
 
I was busy yesterday sorting out my friend and speaker genius Joe Rasmussen's problems with his new Hamlet loudspeaker. Anyway, all Sorted and Copacetic now. 🙂

Today was my Annual Financial Health Check at the splendid NatWest Bank. My Financial adviser Amanda said "Can we talk just between the two of us?" I leaned closer.

She went on to explain that the Bank pretty much wrote off their Customers at age 70, and started withdrawing tempting Financial Offers at age 67, since 3 years return was little use to their commendably rapacious and profitable Bank. But noted I was quick with figures and not visibly alcoholic or going GaGa like most Portsmouth oldies. She did, off the record, tell me if I knocked my finances into a higher annual income, the Bank would throw a huge 3% return on the "Reward Account". I agreed to meet her in a month.

Bumped into 82-y-o "Sloop" John B on my way home. He told me NatWest were rubbish. He banks with Lloyd's who are happy to have geriatric customers. 😕

How I laughed when I later saw him peering anxiously at the Lloyd's Cash machine in Palmy Road. Had snatched his card whilst he reviewed his balance slip. Silly old bugger was too deaf to hear the countdown warning alert. Told him to go inside and explain it to the tellers, but doubtless faces huge Bank charges for loss of card. 😀

I continued in search of wise Financial Investments to increase my income, and (importantly) amusements to keep my Brain in tip-top condition. By Tomorrow I shall be richer and even smarter and happier, one feels. 😎
 

Attachments

  • Banking Investments.jpg
    Banking Investments.jpg
    138.7 KB · Views: 236
Those are a couple of the better charity shop movie finds, Steve. 😎

I'm always on the lookout for Sci-Fi discards, and have a backlog of blockbusters to watch.

Grab those DVDs now before they go the way of VHS tapes! :cheerful:
 

Attachments

  • RIP DVD.jpeg
    RIP DVD.jpeg
    56.4 KB · Views: 226
My mood was not lightened this morning with news that a dyslexic horse called "Verry Elleegant" had won the Melbourne Cup. 😡

It got worse when the fire alarm went off having the whole house stumbling down the stairs in dressing gowns and earplugs to silence the wretched thing. I quickly established that "Candyman" Colin's kitchen smokehead was displaying a red light, but found no smoke whatsoever. 😕

Phoned "Cheapskate" Mike, the landlord, who arrived with two new, but doubtless cheap, smokeheads and a small stepladder. I resisted saying "That is one small step for a man". 😀

My theory is he unleashed electrical gremlins yesterday while "upgrading" the hideous lights for a cheaper LED solution. Why cheaper? Because he has adjusted the timer switch to a useless 10 seconds. 😡

Retired to the garden to read my book and drink coffee and restore my serene state of mind. After the ferocious "Storm Greta" on Sunday, I have restored all to order. Even my expensive "Sorbus Autumn Spire" tree is delivering the promised Autumn red leaves. A subtle but nice touch, one feels, for those who appreciate the finer things in Life. 🙂
 

Attachments

  • Autumn Colours from Sorbus Autumn Spire Tree.jpg
    Autumn Colours from Sorbus Autumn Spire Tree.jpg
    114.5 KB · Views: 174
  • Hideous Hallway Lights.jpg
    Hideous Hallway Lights.jpg
    57.8 KB · Views: 161
Phoned "Cheapskate" Mike, the landlord, who arrived with two new, but doubtless cheap, smokeheads and a small stepladder. I resisted saying "That is one small step for a man".

My grandparents had a constant problem with a dripping faucet in their kitchen. When they called the landlord for the umpteenth time he picked up a snuffbox with gaskets mumbling "OK then, I have use a new one this time ..." :hypno1:
 
It got worse when the fire alarm went off...
It may lighten your mood to hear of the Scottish Government's changes to the law on fire alarms, which will come into effect in February 2022.

Fire and smoke alarms: changes to the law - gov.scot

By February 2022 every (Scottish) home must have:

  • one smoke alarm in the living room or the room you use most
  • one smoke alarm in every hallway or landing
  • one heat alarm in the kitchen
All smoke and heat alarms should be mounted on the ceiling and be interlinked.

If you have a carbon-fuelled appliance – like a boiler, fire, heater or flue – in any room, you must also have a carbon monoxide detector in that room, but this does not need to be linked to the fire alarms.
The cost for the average three bedroom house will be around £220, based on using the type of alarms that you can install by yourself without the need for an electrician.
 
As Chief Fire-Marshall in our building, I naturally am well-informed about Fire regulations. I possess an orange vest somewhere, which I shall don if the balloon seriously goes up in the future. I am careful not to smoke in bed, as was often done in old films, and have studied all exits from our wretched slum. Only today I noticed that there is a helpful arrow pointing towards the front door. TBH, you would be rather dim not to know where the front door is.

I have also been summoned by my geriatric neighbour "Sloop" John B who had a beeping fire alarm, but was unable to locate the problem. I immediately diagnosed a failing PP3 9V battery, and advised him the best thing to do was to find his wallet and break into it to buy a new one.

I have also noticed that "The Thriller from Manila" Maria has installed an Oriental Lucky Charm over her door. One would guess it is to deter fire-breathing Oriental dragons. I hope it is not flammable being along a fire exit, And it raises the question how she, being rather short, got it up there. 😕
 

Attachments

  • Mysterious Door Thing.jpg
    Mysterious Door Thing.jpg
    68.5 KB · Views: 469
And it raises the question how she, being rather short, got it up there. 😕
And, concidently, her room number 4 is the smallest composite number, its proper divisors being 1 and 2.

4 is the smallest squared prime and the only even number in this form.

4 is also the only square one more than a prime number.

A number is a multiple of 4 if its last two digits are a multiple of 4! :emoticon:
 
Only yesterday I sat down at Weatherspoons for my afternoon coffee (£1.20 or 5!p) after filling in my (unsuccessful) Melbourne Cup betting slip. I chose table 67 as the most interesting number available: According to the Stark–Heegner theorem there are precisely nine Heegner numbers: 1, 2, 3, 7, 11, 19, 43, 67, and 163.

Google today tested my number ability, being convinced from my recent searches that I must be a robot. I quickly engaged my mathematical sub-processor and passed the quiz by noticing traffic lights always come in threes. An artificial life-form of 10 years old could evade such hurdles! Continued on with my Google search The+Queen+Derby+Winner.

Her promising horse "Reach for the Moon" looks a dead cert for next year's Derby race, on her Jubilee weekend. "The People's Jockey" Frankie Dettori shall doubtless get a Knighthood for bringing it home first.
 

Attachments

  • Robot Check from Google.jpg
    Robot Check from Google.jpg
    77 KB · Views: 180
  • Robot Quiz from Google.jpg
    Robot Quiz from Google.jpg
    92.6 KB · Views: 183
  • Queen's Horse Reach for the Moon.jpg
    Queen's Horse Reach for the Moon.jpg
    75.7 KB · Views: 183