Steve, my better half was deliberating over 2-3-4-22 as the first four. Looked at it long enough and talked herself out of it. Yes, I know that feeling.
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This juxtaposition says something about Cal's mind and reminds me why I have been not visiting this thread for a while 🙂
What's wrong with Wetherspoons? Cheap and you get free refills in environmentally friendly porcelain cups. Filled with sad alcoholics even at 9AM. They vote with their stumbling feet, IMO.
I have been encouraging my Christmas Cactus to take up a reading program. Now well-informed about the history of our Colonies in Canada and Australia. And thriving, following correct gardening advice given in this thread. 😎
It can now discern the true intent of the text "Last of the Mohicans". Magua of the Huron Tribe is not the pantomime villain as portrayed by the American Cousins at Hollywood. A far deeper and fundamentally noble character. He was merely led astray by the firewater of the Canadian Fathers. Read my lips. He did NOT cause Cora Munro's death!
I shall next find "Treasure Island" for the Cactus. It shall learn that one-legged Long John Silver (portrayed as fond of a bit of YoHoHo and a bottle of Rum...) was not the total Villain posterity has rewritten him as. It is my belief that there is good in all men.
I have been encouraging my Christmas Cactus to take up a reading program. Now well-informed about the history of our Colonies in Canada and Australia. And thriving, following correct gardening advice given in this thread. 😎
It can now discern the true intent of the text "Last of the Mohicans". Magua of the Huron Tribe is not the pantomime villain as portrayed by the American Cousins at Hollywood. A far deeper and fundamentally noble character. He was merely led astray by the firewater of the Canadian Fathers. Read my lips. He did NOT cause Cora Munro's death!
I shall next find "Treasure Island" for the Cactus. It shall learn that one-legged Long John Silver (portrayed as fond of a bit of YoHoHo and a bottle of Rum...) was not the total Villain posterity has rewritten him as. It is my belief that there is good in all men.
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Pubs aren't what they used to be. You can't smoke in them. You can't get drunk in them. Saturday night's no longer all right for fighting. Gone are the days when if you bought a glass of squash you'd look around the room and keep it hidden under your jacket. It's no wonder companies are going around buying them all up... At least they'll do you a steak with fancy trimmings. All right, I'm off to the restaurant for a beer.
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I usually drink coffee in Pubs like the Eldon Arms and O'Neill's Bars in Portsmouth. Both are willing to switch the TV screen to ITV Racing, and I can watch my horses disappoint as usual. 😀
Almost next door to the Eldon is this bizarre bit of street decoration at house 21. When first installed it had, as I noticed, 21 ducks. I tried betting on No.21 in a handicap, but to no avail. The Ducks have recently multiplied, and one must be looking at a race with a huge field like the Grand National next for sporting success. 😕
Almost next door to the Eldon is this bizarre bit of street decoration at house 21. When first installed it had, as I noticed, 21 ducks. I tried betting on No.21 in a handicap, but to no avail. The Ducks have recently multiplied, and one must be looking at a race with a huge field like the Grand National next for sporting success. 😕
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My mood this morning was not lightened by news that "The People's Horse", Pyledriver is not running in the 1.45 at Munich on Sunday 7th, Grosser Preis Von Bayern. 😡
However, my Stars seem to be aligning over the Breeders Sprint Cup tomorrow 6th. November at Del Mar at 7.40. Everything is telling me No.6, A Case of You, is surely going to be filling my pockets with money. Especially since No.6 (The Chosen One) let me down at Melbourne last week. Law of averages, isn't it?
All the usual suspects are there, for this prestigious race. I can honestly say I have already lost money on 2 of them. US horse Golden Pal was not my pal last time out, and Glass Slippers, a horse I like who won this race last year, slipped up badly too.
My feelings about No.6 were only confirmed when I opened my eggs this morning. I was not surprised they were all white, though that is an unlikely coincidence. But that there were 6 of them! An omen that I can't ignore.
However, my Stars seem to be aligning over the Breeders Sprint Cup tomorrow 6th. November at Del Mar at 7.40. Everything is telling me No.6, A Case of You, is surely going to be filling my pockets with money. Especially since No.6 (The Chosen One) let me down at Melbourne last week. Law of averages, isn't it?
All the usual suspects are there, for this prestigious race. I can honestly say I have already lost money on 2 of them. US horse Golden Pal was not my pal last time out, and Glass Slippers, a horse I like who won this race last year, slipped up badly too.
My feelings about No.6 were only confirmed when I opened my eggs this morning. I was not surprised they were all white, though that is an unlikely coincidence. But that there were 6 of them! An omen that I can't ignore.
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Guys, why not make a separate horse thread?
This one has been COMPLETELY hijacked.
As punishment/fine each of you should post 3 or 4 belly grabbing laughter jokes 😉
This one has been COMPLETELY hijacked.
As punishment/fine each of you should post 3 or 4 belly grabbing laughter jokes 😉
My pleasure:
Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, before that last race …”
“The one that you won?” asks the other horse.
“Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.”
The other horse says, “Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won.”
A dog walking by says, “You idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you faster!”
The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!”
What? 🙄
Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, before that last race …”
“The one that you won?” asks the other horse.
“Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.”
The other horse says, “Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won.”
A dog walking by says, “You idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you faster!”
The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!”
What? 🙄
Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan:
At Piccadilly Station, the Sergeant gave me a picture of Hitler and said "this is your enemy!"
I searched the entire train but I couldn't find him...
....
From memory, not exact same words maybe.
But you get the idea.
At Piccadilly Station, the Sergeant gave me a picture of Hitler and said "this is your enemy!"
I searched the entire train but I couldn't find him...
....
From memory, not exact same words maybe.
But you get the idea.
Det står två ston på en äng och spejar och spanar längs vägen. Länge, länge står de där och tittar och fluktar och spanar tills en av dem säger:
- Du, vi hörde nog fel. Det var nog PINGSTEN som skulle komma ...
- Du, vi hörde nog fel. Det var nog PINGSTEN som skulle komma ...
A farmer noticed that the rooster wasn't doing its job, more than waking up people too early in the morning, so he became a Coque au vin. Instead the farmer got himself a new one that was supposed to be SUPER. And it really was.
Firstly it took care of the hens, you could hear them cackling happily and loudly.
But the rooster wasn't finished yet - he dealt with all the duck in the pond at a tremenous speed.
Now the farmer noticed how the rooster ran up to the pigs, worked them over thoroughly and seconds later he ran into cowshed from where upset but mostly appreciative sounds from the cows could be heard and next ....
... the horses in the stable. Probably several times.
Finally the rooster limped out from the barn, wiggling and waggling all over the yard, rolled his eyes and fell to the ground, appearantly totally exhausted and now stone dead.
The farmer, who had witnessed how his newly and dearly bought rooster had satisfied all the animals on his farm, thought that was it, took a spade to bury the poor animal and approched the rooster.
However the rooster opened a eye slightly, hushed the farmer and waved at him to go away and then pointed up in the sky where the crows were circling ...
Firstly it took care of the hens, you could hear them cackling happily and loudly.
But the rooster wasn't finished yet - he dealt with all the duck in the pond at a tremenous speed.
Now the farmer noticed how the rooster ran up to the pigs, worked them over thoroughly and seconds later he ran into cowshed from where upset but mostly appreciative sounds from the cows could be heard and next ....
... the horses in the stable. Probably several times.
Finally the rooster limped out from the barn, wiggling and waggling all over the yard, rolled his eyes and fell to the ground, appearantly totally exhausted and now stone dead.
The farmer, who had witnessed how his newly and dearly bought rooster had satisfied all the animals on his farm, thought that was it, took a spade to bury the poor animal and approched the rooster.
However the rooster opened a eye slightly, hushed the farmer and waved at him to go away and then pointed up in the sky where the crows were circling ...