Something to lighten the mood

Screenshot from 2024-09-12 16-38-57.png
 
Years ago I attended an army cadet camp on Dartmoor, and have always regretted not having my camera. In classic War Dept. fashion the authorities had put up a second notice next to one of their "W.D. PROPERTY - NO TRESPASSING" signs. Eventually the original fell down and was buried in gorse and heather. All that remained visible was the solitary board reading: "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO THROW STONES AT THIS NOTICE". Shades of Monty Python.
 
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I parked next to this bright Banana Yellow sports car the other day.

“You could look it up”: UCSC is the University of California at Santa Cruz, and their official mascot for their sports teams is unique. Not Bruins (that’s UC Los Angeles) not Wolverines (that’s Michigan) not Longhorns (that’s Univ Texas). No, the surfer dudes and dudettes at Santa Cruz picked an unorthodox mascot, a creature with no known predators.
 

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A couple had only been married for two weeks and the man was very much in love, but couldn't wait to go out on the town partying with his old pals.
So, he said to his wife:
  • Honey, I'll be right back.
  • Where are you going, honey? asked the wife.
  • I'm going to the bar, sweetie, he replied. I'll have a beer.
  • You want a beer, my great love?

The wife opened the refrigerator door and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The man didn't know what to do, and the only thing he could think of to say was:
- Yes, ... but in a bar. . .. You know ... they have ice cold beers in frosted glasses ...

He was not allowed to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying:
- You want an ice cold beer? In frosted glass?

She took a large, frosted glass of beer from the freezer, so cold she was shivering just holding it.
The husband, looking a little pale, said:
  • Yes, my dear, but in the bar they have small dishes that are really delicious ... I won't be gone long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?
  • You want small dishes?

She opened the oven and took out 3 different small dishes: Chicken wings, stuffed mushrooms and small pies.

  • But my sweet darling ... in the bar .... you know there is profanity, foul words and everyone who ...
  • You want dirty words? LISTEN CAREFULLY, YOUR CHICKEN BRAIN! SIT DOWN ON YOUR FAT *** AND SHUT The F*** UP. DRINK YOUR DAMN ICE COLD BEER OUT OF THE DAMN FROZEN GLASS AND EAT YOUR ******** SNACKS!!!! YOUR MARRIED *** SHOULD NOT BE IN ANY DAMN BAR! THAT **** IS OVER FOR YOU, DO YOU GET IT, FOOL? "