Something to lighten the mood

[billshurv]

A classic (and rare clean) joke From Jimmie Carr:

Whiteboards are remarkable

 

[Cal Weldon]

I was witness at a drowning recently. The young detective asked how I thought the man drowned. I scratched my gray beard and told him I thought it had something to do with lungs versus gills. His Supervisor called me the next day. We're going for lunch next week. BTW, He likes scotch too.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Back to the funny page for a moment.

I ran into an acquaintance of mine who is always asking advice and then doing his own thing. I call him an askhole.

 

[AllenB]

I was so drunk last night that when the police pulled someone over on TV, I put my beer under the sofa.

 

[Cal Weldon]

I am on the far left. That was ‘79 and my part was to help with the stacking. Haven’t seen any of them for a long time.

 

[AllenB]

 

[Cal Weldon]

.

 

[Cal Weldon]

People seem to write 'congrats' a lot. Is that because they can't spell congrajulayshuns?

 

[Cal Weldon]

Caution: Heavy Pedestrian traffic. Skinny people yield.

 

[chrisb]

Cal, do you have the DJT spellchecker installed on the device on which that was keyed?

 

[Cal Weldon]

Took my family to the Space Museum. There was nothing there.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Chris, tôi thậm chí không chắc trình kiểm tra chính tả DJT là gì.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Unfortunately during the lockdown, I cannot offer outward humour, I am restricted to inside jokes.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Have you ever noticed how many roads seem to end at the ocean?

 

[Galu]

Is there no end to this jocularity?

I threw a boomerang a couple of years ago.

I now live in constant fear.

 

[AllenB]

If anyone knows how to repair broken hinges, my door is always open.

 

[AllenB]

.

 

[AllenB]

Took my family to the Space Museum. There was nothing there.

 

[AllenB]

I accidentaly splashed omega 3 over myself. My injuries were super fish oil.

 

[Cal Weldon]

To the person who lost that big wad of bills in the elastic band, I found the elastic band.