An oldie...
-How to distinguish a Japanese, between one hundred thousand Chinese?
-By the camera...
-How to distinguish a Chinese, between one hundred thousand Japanese?
-By the bike...
😀
-How to distinguish a Japanese, between one hundred thousand Chinese?
-By the camera...
-How to distinguish a Chinese, between one hundred thousand Japanese?
-By the bike...
😀
-Dad, the Martians are friends or enemies?
-Why you ask, dear?
-Is that they are taking my granny.
-Well, they're friends!
😀
-Why you ask, dear?
-Is that they are taking my granny.
-Well, they're friends!
😀
-Mom, mom, why dad is bald?
-Because he is very intelligent and has many things to think about.
-So, why do you have so much hair?
-Eat your soup!
😀
-Because he is very intelligent and has many things to think about.
-So, why do you have so much hair?
-Eat your soup!
😀
I have a bald friend, we tell him "Onion" because he has more hair on his a*s that in the head.😀
Common Nicknames
Armless Cat: Do not know how cover the s**t.
Back Pocket: He's fit neither to scratch the balls.
Black rabbit: Can't make him work neither the magicians.
Christmas tree: He has the balls only of ornament.
Church's Cat: Keeps him the Father.
Deodorant: Live from the sweat of others.
Doorbell Button: Everybody touch her, unless the owner.
Firefly: You take away her a*s and has no attraction.
Fruit Salad: She has no lemons.
Goal Against: They did him without wanting.
Hippocampus: Feels a colt, and is a fish.
Menstruation: When he comes, annoyed. When not, worries.
New Boat: You have to push to get him into the water.
Ozone Layer: Every day has the hole larger.
Perfect Crime: Do not find the gun.
Santa Claus: Works once a year and is lie.
Stirrup: Only serves to screw it up.
Wet Journal: You can not understand anything he says.
😀
Armless Cat: Do not know how cover the s**t.
Back Pocket: He's fit neither to scratch the balls.
Black rabbit: Can't make him work neither the magicians.
Christmas tree: He has the balls only of ornament.
Church's Cat: Keeps him the Father.
Deodorant: Live from the sweat of others.
Doorbell Button: Everybody touch her, unless the owner.
Firefly: You take away her a*s and has no attraction.
Fruit Salad: She has no lemons.
Goal Against: They did him without wanting.
Hippocampus: Feels a colt, and is a fish.
Menstruation: When he comes, annoyed. When not, worries.
New Boat: You have to push to get him into the water.
Ozone Layer: Every day has the hole larger.
Perfect Crime: Do not find the gun.
Santa Claus: Works once a year and is lie.
Stirrup: Only serves to screw it up.
Wet Journal: You can not understand anything he says.
😀
Woman try the whiskey from her husband and makes a gesture of disgust:
- Do not know how you can like this crap!
- Now you notice the sacrifice I have to do getting drunk?
😀
- Do not know how you can like this crap!
- Now you notice the sacrifice I have to do getting drunk?
😀
This happened near my town
A Swiss in the middle of Cordoba hills seeking guidance on the road, stopped his car next to another occupied by a couple of Argentines.
The Swiss question:
- Entschuldigung, können sprechen sie Deutsch?
The two Argentines remain mute.
- Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?
The two continued undaunted and serene.
- Prego Signori, parlate Italiano?
Nothing from the couple.
- Vocés falam Portugués?
No response.
- Please, do you speak English?
Nothing.
Distraught the Swiss gives up and leaves.
The woman looks at her husband and says:
- Tal vez debiéramos aprender alguna lengua extranjera.
(Perhaps we should learn a foreign language)
The husband replies:
- ¿Para qué?... Ese boludo sabía cinco y no le sirvió de nada.
(Why?... This idiot knew five, and don't served him for nothing)
😀
A Swiss in the middle of Cordoba hills seeking guidance on the road, stopped his car next to another occupied by a couple of Argentines.
The Swiss question:
- Entschuldigung, können sprechen sie Deutsch?
The two Argentines remain mute.
- Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?
The two continued undaunted and serene.
- Prego Signori, parlate Italiano?
Nothing from the couple.
- Vocés falam Portugués?
No response.
- Please, do you speak English?
Nothing.
Distraught the Swiss gives up and leaves.
The woman looks at her husband and says:
- Tal vez debiéramos aprender alguna lengua extranjera.
(Perhaps we should learn a foreign language)
The husband replies:
- ¿Para qué?... Ese boludo sabía cinco y no le sirvió de nada.
(Why?... This idiot knew five, and don't served him for nothing)
😀
A Cordovan goes to Africa and to feel less alone, decides to take his dog.
The first day of the safari, the animal, very happy, starts chasing butterflies and when least expected and had left the group.
The dog, began to look desperate when very angry panther coming toward him ready to eat.
Startled, he quickly thought to do, see some bones that were with him and begins to bite.
Just as the panther was going to attack, the dog exclaims:
- "Mmmmmm, that rich panther just ate me!"
-The panther, to hear that, you brake noise so scared and runs away mumbling;
- "F*****g dog, by little and he eats me too!"
But on top of a tree, was a monkey who saw everything that had happened.
He lowered too quickly and go after the panther to tell her everything he saw.
On hearing this, the panther, very angry, ordered to the monkey:
- "Climb the tree, let's see the f*****g dog to see who eats whom."
-The Hound notices that the panther comes, with the ape climbing, ready for anything.
In an instant, the dog guesses that the monkey was the worst gossip instead of running, turns around as if he had seen nothing.
When the panther was about to attack, the dog complains aloud:
- "That f*****g monkey, half an hour ago I send him for another panther and the bastard still does not return!"
😀
The first day of the safari, the animal, very happy, starts chasing butterflies and when least expected and had left the group.
The dog, began to look desperate when very angry panther coming toward him ready to eat.
Startled, he quickly thought to do, see some bones that were with him and begins to bite.
Just as the panther was going to attack, the dog exclaims:
- "Mmmmmm, that rich panther just ate me!"
-The panther, to hear that, you brake noise so scared and runs away mumbling;
- "F*****g dog, by little and he eats me too!"
But on top of a tree, was a monkey who saw everything that had happened.
He lowered too quickly and go after the panther to tell her everything he saw.
On hearing this, the panther, very angry, ordered to the monkey:
- "Climb the tree, let's see the f*****g dog to see who eats whom."
-The Hound notices that the panther comes, with the ape climbing, ready for anything.
In an instant, the dog guesses that the monkey was the worst gossip instead of running, turns around as if he had seen nothing.
When the panther was about to attack, the dog complains aloud:
- "That f*****g monkey, half an hour ago I send him for another panther and the bastard still does not return!"
😀
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He was a drunk watching a nun at the time that it is robbed of her purse.
The drunk says:
- Batman, let me down.
😀
The drunk says:
- Batman, let me down.
😀
Q: What do you get if you cross a elephant with a rhinoceros? A: A Elephino!
Q: Why do penguins walk softly? A: Because they can't walk hardly!
Q: Why do penguins walk softly? A: Because they can't walk hardly!
Q:What does Popilin in this thread?
A:He scares saber-toothed elephants!
Q:But we do not have them on the forum!
A:That's why we don't have them!
A:He scares saber-toothed elephants!
Q:But we do not have them on the forum!
A:That's why we don't have them!
These are jokes my mother told me when I was a little boy.
Q: Why do elephants paint there toe nails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees of course!
Q: Why do elephants paint there toe nails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees of course!
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