One day I went to the bar, with Pepe, my parrot.
The barman asked
- Does he speak this animal?
Pepe answered
- Not today... two beers please.
😀
The barman asked
- Does he speak this animal?
Pepe answered
- Not today... two beers please.
😀
Hey Anatoliy, statistically I am a very silent guy!
Posts Per Day = 0.54
This "haemorrhage literary" is only temporary.
The doctor told me: Forget TV, watch funny movies,... fun, hobby...😉
For me this is fun ...🙂
Otherwise, I would be in Section Tubes / Valves, fighting with someone.😀
Posts Per Day = 0.54
This "haemorrhage literary" is only temporary.
The doctor told me: Forget TV, watch funny movies,... fun, hobby...😉
For me this is fun ...🙂
Otherwise, I would be in Section Tubes / Valves, fighting with someone.😀
Pepe was right with the failure of the TV, now he wants to charge overtime.🙄
The other day, Pepe took a viagra pill, I swear I do not know where he got it!
He was totally crazy and swarmed with fever, then I put him in the refrigerator.
Two hours later, I opened the fridge and Pepe was sweating, angry said:
- You do not know how hard it is to open the legs of this frozen chicken!😀
The other day, Pepe took a viagra pill, I swear I do not know where he got it!
He was totally crazy and swarmed with fever, then I put him in the refrigerator.
Two hours later, I opened the fridge and Pepe was sweating, angry said:
- You do not know how hard it is to open the legs of this frozen chicken!😀
Attachments
Eat lemons! You need them. Lot of lemons. Chop them with skins. And meat, butter, eggs, vegetables. Sour brown bread. Drink water with sea salt. Learn to meditate.
Forget about alcohol, at least for few months!
Forget about alcohol, at least for few months!
A woman from Quebec gets up, puts up the shades, takes the cover off her parrot's cage, makes coffee, and has a cigarette.
Suddenly the phone rings. Her boyfriend is coming over.
She puts out the cigarette, pulls down the shades, puts the cover back on the parrot's cage, and gets back into bed.
The parrot, from under the cloth says: "Tabernac, that was a short ******* day!"
Suddenly the phone rings. Her boyfriend is coming over.
She puts out the cigarette, pulls down the shades, puts the cover back on the parrot's cage, and gets back into bed.
The parrot, from under the cloth says: "Tabernac, that was a short ******* day!"
Eating lemons, with skins...
I'll try to put "Dulce de Leche" to lemons...😉
Meditation is something like talking to oneself.
I've been almost one hundred post, "meditating"...😀
Leave the alcohol is very easy, I do every day...😀
But months...
LOL.
Sometimes same thing happens with Pepe, just that he does not speak French, Nor does he say *******😀
I screwed up again, Pepe was offended because I uploaded his picture without his consent.🙄
Now, without a source of inspiration, I continue as I can ...🙂
Secrets to a long and happy marriage
(Or at least long)
1) Sleeping in separate beds
This avoids the usual claims
a) Are these hours of coming to bed?
b) How can you feel heat if just I put seven blankets?
c) Hey, the blankets are not only for you!
And the most embarrassing
d) Oh my God! What did you eat? A cadaver?😀
2) Sleeping in separate rooms
This avoids other claims
a) Do not make so much noise to enter!
b) When you repair the damn door?
c) Who is that Nicolette you call asleep?
She will never understand, that Nicolet is an oscilloscope, and what you have is a nightmare!😀
3) Sleeping in separate houses
I am poor, but at least I can fantasize, right?
a) You can locate all your projects anywhere, without hearing
-Hey, what do you think? Does the entire house is a workshop?
b) You can work in peace, without the usual
-The remote does not work, it was better that the dog ate...
-Dear, three days ago is broken the washing machine, and you, sitting with your toys...
-Who did you marry? With your computer?
c) You can listen to your favorite music at 3 AM, and as loud as you want.
Here the walls are thick, and the police asleep at that hour, just in case...
😀
Now, without a source of inspiration, I continue as I can ...🙂
Secrets to a long and happy marriage
(Or at least long)
1) Sleeping in separate beds
This avoids the usual claims
a) Are these hours of coming to bed?
b) How can you feel heat if just I put seven blankets?
c) Hey, the blankets are not only for you!
And the most embarrassing
d) Oh my God! What did you eat? A cadaver?😀
2) Sleeping in separate rooms
This avoids other claims
a) Do not make so much noise to enter!
b) When you repair the damn door?
c) Who is that Nicolette you call asleep?
She will never understand, that Nicolet is an oscilloscope, and what you have is a nightmare!😀
3) Sleeping in separate houses
I am poor, but at least I can fantasize, right?
a) You can locate all your projects anywhere, without hearing
-Hey, what do you think? Does the entire house is a workshop?
b) You can work in peace, without the usual
-The remote does not work, it was better that the dog ate...
-Dear, three days ago is broken the washing machine, and you, sitting with your toys...
-Who did you marry? With your computer?
c) You can listen to your favorite music at 3 AM, and as loud as you want.
Here the walls are thick, and the police asleep at that hour, just in case...
😀
A guy walks near the wall of the asylum, inside screaming
-Eight! ... Eight! ... Eight! ...
The guy, intrigued, climb the wall ... when it comes up, a stone hits his head ...
-Nine! ... Nine! ... Nine! ...
Of course, from inside was more funny ...😀
We had great fun that day!😀😀
-Eight! ... Eight! ... Eight! ...
The guy, intrigued, climb the wall ... when it comes up, a stone hits his head ...
-Nine! ... Nine! ... Nine! ...
Of course, from inside was more funny ...😀
We had great fun that day!😀😀
In a mental hospital, a nurse sees a patient typing.
- Hey Manolo, what you do?
- I am writing a letter.
- And who are you going to send?
- To myself.
- Aha, I see ... and tell me, what's up?
- Do not know, I have not yet received.
😀
- Hey Manolo, what you do?
- I am writing a letter.
- And who are you going to send?
- To myself.
- Aha, I see ... and tell me, what's up?
- Do not know, I have not yet received.
😀
A crazy woman is running on her wheelchair across the hall from a madhouse, imitating sounds of race cars.
Suddenly a fool out of a room, stops her and says:
- Excuse me ma'am, but you exceeded the speed limit. ¿Can I see your driving license?
The woman starts looking in his wallet and pulls out an old ticket. The guy checks the document and returns it from continuing.
The woman fast turns on his car and started again at full speed, going back to the fool's room, he looks out again. Return to stop and say,
- Excuse me ma'am, but I have seen going on the double line. Would you mind showing me your registration certificate?
The woman stir again in her pocket and hands him a candy wrapper. The fool finds that the documents are in order, again admonish and let she go again.
The woman is released back to full speed through the halls ... And, to go through the same place, same goes the crazy man for the third time in his room, but now totally naked!.
The woman sees him and exclaims:
- Oh, my God...! Again the breathalyzer?
😀
Suddenly a fool out of a room, stops her and says:
- Excuse me ma'am, but you exceeded the speed limit. ¿Can I see your driving license?
The woman starts looking in his wallet and pulls out an old ticket. The guy checks the document and returns it from continuing.
The woman fast turns on his car and started again at full speed, going back to the fool's room, he looks out again. Return to stop and say,
- Excuse me ma'am, but I have seen going on the double line. Would you mind showing me your registration certificate?
The woman stir again in her pocket and hands him a candy wrapper. The fool finds that the documents are in order, again admonish and let she go again.
The woman is released back to full speed through the halls ... And, to go through the same place, same goes the crazy man for the third time in his room, but now totally naked!.
The woman sees him and exclaims:
- Oh, my God...! Again the breathalyzer?
😀
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Q: What if a man spits on the corporation?
A: - the corporation will wipe away.
Q: What if a corporation spit on the man?
A: - a man drowned.
A: - the corporation will wipe away.
Q: What if a corporation spit on the man?
A: - a man drowned.
Manolo works in a corporation, and talk to his boss
- In Argentina, all men are footballers, and all women are prostitutes.
The boss answers
- My wife is from Argentina !
Manolo thinks and answers
- Your wife is footballer, right?
😀
- In Argentina, all men are footballers, and all women are prostitutes.
The boss answers
- My wife is from Argentina !
Manolo thinks and answers
- Your wife is footballer, right?
😀
A businessman consults a lawyer
- I have recommended to you in a very special, I need to make disappear a file, in which I take everything to lose.
- Do not say "make disappear", say "misplace" ...
- Ok what can you do "misplace"?
- Well, what is at issue for you?
- I was seven "misplaced" containers full of computers.
😀
- I have recommended to you in a very special, I need to make disappear a file, in which I take everything to lose.
- Do not say "make disappear", say "misplace" ...
- Ok what can you do "misplace"?
- Well, what is at issue for you?
- I was seven "misplaced" containers full of computers.
😀
- Status
- Not open for further replies.