Member
Joined 2009
Most people are or have been in your situation. One thing you shouldn't do is dwell on it because it will drive you crazy. You have to understand that it might take a VERY long time to make the social connections that you are looking for and this is OK. Until that time comes you must focus on the things that will make it possible. Yes, I mean yourself!
Why do you have to run after women? They should be going after you. The best way to attract women is to be desirable. One thing you will learn in college is that the best way to know lots of interesting people is to be a drug dealer. Jokes aside though, find out how women think and what they are looking for.
You need to focus on bettering yourself. Work out, but not in an obsessive way, most women hate meatheads and workoholics. Keep in shape, eat and sleep well, take care of your body. Work towards financial independence. Save money for your dream car. When you start getting the things you want you will build up confidence. No woman will easily ignore a man who looks like he has his life together.
How do you actually meet women? You have to be very creative. Dating sites and bars can be fun but for the most part they are not. Do some brainstorming on where women go. Get involved with things happening at your local mall (as a last resort get a job there). Take some classes at joga, meditation, dancing or whatever vaguely interests you. Join group activities that are open to the public like hikes, political clubs, animal shelters, charity groups etc. Go on adventures by yourself, drive 50, 100 miles if you have to. When people travel they are more likely to open up and be adventurous. If there's a tourist area around your town there will be people looking to meet up with locals. If you are looking to meet sluts get a job at a tanning saloon, get it? You need to be creative and take on the challenge.
What I've been describing is the hard way. Surely one can use trickery to better his odds but I don't want to give that kind of advice. Try to guess what women think of you. Figure out is preventing them of taking the next step and work on it. Have a look within.
Most importantly don't be hard on yourself. Perfection is not the goal here, enjoy yourself. Chances are you are on the right path already. Just keep up the work, good things are coming.
Why do you have to run after women? They should be going after you. The best way to attract women is to be desirable. One thing you will learn in college is that the best way to know lots of interesting people is to be a drug dealer. Jokes aside though, find out how women think and what they are looking for.
You need to focus on bettering yourself. Work out, but not in an obsessive way, most women hate meatheads and workoholics. Keep in shape, eat and sleep well, take care of your body. Work towards financial independence. Save money for your dream car. When you start getting the things you want you will build up confidence. No woman will easily ignore a man who looks like he has his life together.
How do you actually meet women? You have to be very creative. Dating sites and bars can be fun but for the most part they are not. Do some brainstorming on where women go. Get involved with things happening at your local mall (as a last resort get a job there). Take some classes at joga, meditation, dancing or whatever vaguely interests you. Join group activities that are open to the public like hikes, political clubs, animal shelters, charity groups etc. Go on adventures by yourself, drive 50, 100 miles if you have to. When people travel they are more likely to open up and be adventurous. If there's a tourist area around your town there will be people looking to meet up with locals. If you are looking to meet sluts get a job at a tanning saloon, get it? You need to be creative and take on the challenge.
What I've been describing is the hard way. Surely one can use trickery to better his odds but I don't want to give that kind of advice. Try to guess what women think of you. Figure out is preventing them of taking the next step and work on it. Have a look within.
Most importantly don't be hard on yourself. Perfection is not the goal here, enjoy yourself. Chances are you are on the right path already. Just keep up the work, good things are coming.
My contribution will be this : when you meet a woman, of course, you have to speak of you, but you will be much more appreciated if you can drive the conversation to make her speaking of herself. You have to be a good listener (but an active listener).
PS: the trick of going in a park with a young and cute kid is one of the best.
PS: the trick of going in a park with a young and cute kid is one of the best.
Something related and interested I found the other day...
Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys? | Video on TED.com
Ah, it's not comforting, maybe, yet it points out the problem.
No, I'm not laughing at all. I confess, I myself is a geek, too.
Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys? | Video on TED.com
Ah, it's not comforting, maybe, yet it points out the problem.
No, I'm not laughing at all. I confess, I myself is a geek, too.
Tade:
While any specific advice I might offer would be out of date, as I'm 60 now, women are still women. Tell the pretty ones they are smart and the smart ones they are pretty. But that's just a start. What they want to see is you having confidence in yourself. To do that you have to be comfortable talking to them. Old cliches and generalities may seem sexist, but they end up true nonetheless. Women want what they can't have, especially if some other woman has it. You need to be seen with them. They take this as an endorsement. So spending time talking or being around one who only seems to want to just be a friend is not only okay, it's good. Others will notice you because of it. It will also give you practice at becoming comfortable talking to them.
Number one rule is not to let yourself become desparate about things. Don't picture every one you meet as "THE ONE". You've got time. Take it.
Lastly, realize that things are different from one location to another. What works in one community may not work in another. Take some time and observe what things work in the community you happen to end up in. But don't try to act like others. You still need to be yourself.
While you are observing, take particular notice of what the women themselves are after. That can -and will- be different from place to place or even woman to woman.
Best of luck.
Doc.
While any specific advice I might offer would be out of date, as I'm 60 now, women are still women. Tell the pretty ones they are smart and the smart ones they are pretty. But that's just a start. What they want to see is you having confidence in yourself. To do that you have to be comfortable talking to them. Old cliches and generalities may seem sexist, but they end up true nonetheless. Women want what they can't have, especially if some other woman has it. You need to be seen with them. They take this as an endorsement. So spending time talking or being around one who only seems to want to just be a friend is not only okay, it's good. Others will notice you because of it. It will also give you practice at becoming comfortable talking to them.
Number one rule is not to let yourself become desparate about things. Don't picture every one you meet as "THE ONE". You've got time. Take it.
Lastly, realize that things are different from one location to another. What works in one community may not work in another. Take some time and observe what things work in the community you happen to end up in. But don't try to act like others. You still need to be yourself.
While you are observing, take particular notice of what the women themselves are after. That can -and will- be different from place to place or even woman to woman.
Best of luck.
Doc.
OK - here is some advise - from females. Seems that they know what they like better than most guys - nothing surprising about that.
How to Talk to a Girl You Like for the First Time - wikiHow
Here is another good one: How to Ask a Girl Out - wikiHow
ps - I strongly suggest that you do not try the old trick of putting a couple of rolled up socks in your pants
If you have a good looking rear end wear some pants that flatter it - girls do like a cute looking tush too!!!
How to Talk to a Girl You Like for the First Time - wikiHow
Here is another good one: How to Ask a Girl Out - wikiHow
ps - I strongly suggest that you do not try the old trick of putting a couple of rolled up socks in your pants
If you have a good looking rear end wear some pants that flatter it - girls do like a cute looking tush too!!!
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tade,
I'm home today with 2 sick kids so I have time to be here...Be careful what you wish for.....
You like biking....Meet a girl that likes to bike...Go right out and get a job at the local bike shop. You probably have one you all ready like. If they have no jobs volunteer....your unemployed anyway.... go out for the "group rides"....You will meet a girl and you will have at least one thing in common to start with. If you meet someone doing something you don't really like you are starting with a disadvantage.
I'm home today with 2 sick kids so I have time to be here...Be careful what you wish for.....
You like biking....Meet a girl that likes to bike...Go right out and get a job at the local bike shop. You probably have one you all ready like. If they have no jobs volunteer....your unemployed anyway.... go out for the "group rides"....You will meet a girl and you will have at least one thing in common to start with. If you meet someone doing something you don't really like you are starting with a disadvantage.
Biking is great, I have about 50,000miles on two custom Serotta’s (in 15 years) Won’t meet many women on bikes though, 20 – 1 ratio. Get on line, that’s what people are doing, too hard and time consuming to meet in clubs, etc. Oh, got a idea, go be a spin instructor, 20 – 1 ratio in the other direction!
Asking for dating advice on an electrical engineering forum.... hmmmm... that's a bit like asking for pork roasting tips at the synagogue.
Having said that I've been impressed with the wisdom and advice provided.
My advice: remember that women are every bit as challenged by life as us blokes. Girls have the same concerns as you, except it can be worse as they can feel 'left on the shelf' if they're still single at 30. Treat them the way you'd like to be treated yourself - they're a different sex, not different species. And go for the single 29 years olds.....
Having said that I've been impressed with the wisdom and advice provided.
My advice: remember that women are every bit as challenged by life as us blokes. Girls have the same concerns as you, except it can be worse as they can feel 'left on the shelf' if they're still single at 30. Treat them the way you'd like to be treated yourself - they're a different sex, not different species. And go for the single 29 years olds.....
Wellllllllllll - the EE's are over at EE Times although we do have a few here. Nowwww as far a Geeks go - we absolutely have a supply of those here. Ergo - consider taking the advice and turn it upside down and inside out in order to convert it to something regular people will be able to relate to .
There absolutely is a thing about the biology clock running for when you need to be having babies. My sister missed that boat while she was pursuing her PhD - and she does have regrets about it.
Member
Joined 2009
ROFL! This is gold.
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I forgot to mention something earlier. Try to find female friends. Don't disregard women that you have no romantic interest in. Spending time around female friends will help you relate and understand women. Not to mention that you will be introduced to their female friends.
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