a cute little doggie could get you started
and it's not even a joke
but true, couples prefer other couples
and a loner just becomes even more lonely
been there too
maybe you need to look at other places outside your own town area
but whatever, anything takes a certain age
maybe you just need to still grow a bit more
maybe it happens next year, who knows
but maybe you will have to learn how to enjoy life first
and it's not even a joke
but true, couples prefer other couples
and a loner just becomes even more lonely
been there too
maybe you need to look at other places outside your own town area
but whatever, anything takes a certain age
maybe you just need to still grow a bit more
maybe it happens next year, who knows
but maybe you will have to learn how to enjoy life first
If Raleigh is like the rest of N.C. the best place to meet interesting women is church.
Since I'm a total heathen, I had to meet my wife on the Internet. We lived less than 2 miles apart.
Before that for me it was always thru work. As you don't now have the option, you just need to be somewhere that puts you in contact with the same women over and over. That way you can get to know them and they can get to know you. That's usually what works best. Church, social groups like hiking or biking, habitat for humanity or other activities. It may take a long time, longer than you'd like. But it will happen if you are in a setting were you are comfortable and get to see and know the same people over and over.
And while your waiting to meet someone, you'll be having a good time. A social time.
Since I'm a total heathen, I had to meet my wife on the Internet. We lived less than 2 miles apart.
Before that for me it was always thru work. As you don't now have the option, you just need to be somewhere that puts you in contact with the same women over and over. That way you can get to know them and they can get to know you. That's usually what works best. Church, social groups like hiking or biking, habitat for humanity or other activities. It may take a long time, longer than you'd like. But it will happen if you are in a setting were you are comfortable and get to see and know the same people over and over.
And while your waiting to meet someone, you'll be having a good time. A social time.
Cooking classes. Lots of women and you get to eat some good stuff as well. Once you get good at it, you can do well cruising the produce isles at Whole Foods; when I'm examining exotic produce, I often get asked, "How do you cook that?" Back in my single days, I'd offer to show them a few dishes. Nowadays, I say, "My wife and I like to braise this..." because my wife is an expert shot.
Avoid hifi festivals. Total stick parties.
It helps to be a terrific guitarist and play in a band.
Avoid hifi festivals. Total stick parties.
It helps to be a terrific guitarist and play in a band.
Me, too. She was the sysadmin for the advanced cooking forum where I hung out. Unfortunately, the admins here are all old, fat, bald guys.
Maybe you could volunteer to clean up a park, beach or city square in your home town. You may find yourself a kind hearted, caring, giving woman who probably doesn't have a huge social group and spends her free time giving to others. The pickings may be slimmer at these types of places but the quality should be first class.
You also mentioned talking with women for an hour or more about superficial stuff and not knowing when she is interested......if she talked to you for an hour she IS interested
You also mentioned talking with women for an hour or more about superficial stuff and not knowing when she is interested......if she talked to you for an hour she IS interested
my 2cents.
First of all I HEAR YA MAN! You're not alone. It's hell being in love with audio and needing a normal life as well. ie Partner & family. For so many it seems like a piece of p*ss to acheive. But us? G*d only knows. Here's my advice:
1. you have to get out for a start. meetup.com goes some distance.
2. life is cruel but you HAVE to think positive. Power of positive thinking by N. V. Peale is a must read, as long as you can understand it was written in an ancient time period.
3. Work off the back of your MOTIVATION. Choose girls you think are pretty. Then you are motivated , then you can be romantic. No Romance. No dice.
Good luck.
Pauly.
First of all I HEAR YA MAN! You're not alone. It's hell being in love with audio and needing a normal life as well. ie Partner & family. For so many it seems like a piece of p*ss to acheive. But us? G*d only knows. Here's my advice:
1. you have to get out for a start. meetup.com goes some distance.
2. life is cruel but you HAVE to think positive. Power of positive thinking by N. V. Peale is a must read, as long as you can understand it was written in an ancient time period.
3. Work off the back of your MOTIVATION. Choose girls you think are pretty. Then you are motivated , then you can be romantic. No Romance. No dice.
Good luck.
Pauly.
Sy, I am already an excellent chef, but I think that that is a great idea.
Pano, Church... yeah. Faith is the only emotion by which it is socially acceptable to live your life... I wish I could just go to a church :/
Tinitus, I do need to grow a bit more, but to grow in the way I need will require actual interaction, but interacting with people I come in contact is like being thrown into a linear algebra class without knowing how to count to ten.
There is a good chance that my luck has just been rotten, and that where there should have been kind single women, there weren't. I made a huge mistake going to an engineering school, and now I am at the point where work will only bring me in contact with other technically inclined men.
Enjoy life? What does that mean? I can accomplish anything in the world. Anything except that which takes another.
Thanks for the advice guys. I'll try to follow it.
Pano, Church... yeah. Faith is the only emotion by which it is socially acceptable to live your life... I wish I could just go to a church :/
Tinitus, I do need to grow a bit more, but to grow in the way I need will require actual interaction, but interacting with people I come in contact is like being thrown into a linear algebra class without knowing how to count to ten.
There is a good chance that my luck has just been rotten, and that where there should have been kind single women, there weren't. I made a huge mistake going to an engineering school, and now I am at the point where work will only bring me in contact with other technically inclined men.
Enjoy life? What does that mean? I can accomplish anything in the world. Anything except that which takes another.
Thanks for the advice guys. I'll try to follow it.
I've been married so long I've no idea how to meet women. I do know that the #1 turn-off, worse than smelling bad and being ugly, is being unemployed. No matter how minimal, you need to be doing something so you never use that label. You're working part time, consulting, even volunteering full time, but never ever unemployed. Women tend to want stability and predictability. Not to be too negative, but being interesting in audio or technical pursuits is not a good harbinger of he future. OTOH, if it makes you rich your luck will change very quickly, at least for a short while.
Yeah, women are drawn to those like magnets. The major downside with that plan is you have to:
A) Own a cute little doggie.
B) Pretend to like it.
Actually small children/babies work as well, if not better.
If you don't have any of your own, try borrow someone else's baby/doggie for an afternoon, take it for a walk in the park and see what happens.
Yes, Conrad you are right about that. Unfortunately, we are discussing a myriad of "at leasts". I have done all of the above suggestions. All I can gather is that I haven't done them all at once, I haven't done them all at once hard enough, or I am extremely unlucky.
Other than that it seems like the best advice is "it just happens". Which is fortunate for all the other people it just happens for. Congrats.
Thinking that taking my own life will be much more straightforward than the random luck you all have enjoyed.
Other than that it seems like the best advice is "it just happens". Which is fortunate for all the other people it just happens for. Congrats.
Thinking that taking my own life will be much more straightforward than the random luck you all have enjoyed.
that, in particular is not a good idea. Very easy conclusion to reach I grant you as this sh*t can be such a misery. But even if you don't have a girl right now, and if you try you WILL have one in the future, think of what you have already got: your HEALTH, FREEDOM, and endless opportunity to enjoy AUDIO. Priceless stuff!!! That's not everything but think for a minute , thats a hell of ALOT of grip on life. the alternative leaves you with NOTHING here.
don't focus on this any more today. have a sleep. 2mrw is a new day...
But what EXACTLY does it take to be "involved"? Either my luck has just been bad, or I'm not doing something right. I tried to be so outgoing in college. Despite being "the overpaid engineer" at the last job I had, I tried to get out and be social. These things which seem like such obvious paths for normal people have been tortuous and unfruitful for me.
There is something which I am not doing which normal people take for granted.
Thanks for the help. Tomorrow is a new day.
There is something which I am not doing which normal people take for granted.
Thanks for the help. Tomorrow is a new day.
Cooking classes, art classes, animal obedience classes, women like classes - find something "girly" you want to learn, or join a volunteer organization.
You don't commit to a long term relationship in an hour or a week. Seeking a long term intimate relationship off the bat is generally a turnoff for both sexes. A bad relationship is emotionally draining and people are hesitant at first.
If they talk to you for more than a few minutes you probably need to make a confident move, asking them out to clearly show your interest. If they were strangers and want to friend you on facebook, that's a cue to interest, or maybe they just want to read your profile before giving you their phone number. Women are attracted to men other women are attracted to, so develop some female friends (paragraph 1). Then ask them for tips.
People watch, it is interesting what you can learn. A 25 year old who don't text is rare, maybe reconsider or upgrade your plan...?
You don't commit to a long term relationship in an hour or a week. Seeking a long term intimate relationship off the bat is generally a turnoff for both sexes. A bad relationship is emotionally draining and people are hesitant at first.
If they talk to you for more than a few minutes you probably need to make a confident move, asking them out to clearly show your interest. If they were strangers and want to friend you on facebook, that's a cue to interest, or maybe they just want to read your profile before giving you their phone number. Women are attracted to men other women are attracted to, so develop some female friends (paragraph 1). Then ask them for tips.
People watch, it is interesting what you can learn. A 25 year old who don't text is rare, maybe reconsider or upgrade your plan...?
Sometimes it can seem pretty dark and lonely and I had many dark thoughts in my 20s..
So far you have done all the right things, chosen what you want to do, and got an education. The job will come when the economy starts to improve a bit or you run across the right situation..
You need to be able to earn a decent living, engineering school gave you the tools to do that.
Now you have identified the issues you have with your current friends so you need to figure out how to make some new ones who share some of the same concerns.
Picking up the phone and making that phone call is hard, I remember all too well, and the many times I saw or met a girl who I knew liked me (friends told me or it was so obvious even I could not miss the signs) and despite being interested I didn't act. The funny thing is having finally dealt with my fear I discovered that most nice woman have a specific set of concerns, and further the sorts of things that males obsess over generally are not a big concern for most woman, the mature ones would rather build a relationship with someone they trust and who they can easily tell cares about them..
Gotta make that call, and any girl who is talking to you after an hour likes you and could be friend or more in the making so stick with it. Make the call..
Random luck will come your way too if you give it half a chance.. At your age I really thought I would never find someone, but decided to try and do something about it, starting pretty tentatively at that..
So far you have done all the right things, chosen what you want to do, and got an education. The job will come when the economy starts to improve a bit or you run across the right situation..
You need to be able to earn a decent living, engineering school gave you the tools to do that.
Now you have identified the issues you have with your current friends so you need to figure out how to make some new ones who share some of the same concerns.
Picking up the phone and making that phone call is hard, I remember all too well, and the many times I saw or met a girl who I knew liked me (friends told me or it was so obvious even I could not miss the signs) and despite being interested I didn't act. The funny thing is having finally dealt with my fear I discovered that most nice woman have a specific set of concerns, and further the sorts of things that males obsess over generally are not a big concern for most woman, the mature ones would rather build a relationship with someone they trust and who they can easily tell cares about them..
Gotta make that call, and any girl who is talking to you after an hour likes you and could be friend or more in the making so stick with it. Make the call..
Random luck will come your way too if you give it half a chance.. At your age I really thought I would never find someone, but decided to try and do something about it, starting pretty tentatively at that..
Yes, tomorrow is a new day! And having recognized your concerns you will make progress in dealing with them.. Only those blind to their issues don't grow. I suspect the truth of the matter is that you are more self aware and aware of the world around you than "normal" people who take much for granted and don't analyze things in the way an engineer does. Normal people generally don't do a whole lot of thinking about these things, they run on instinct, smart people unfortunately usually don't.. You're one of the smart ones..
Hi tade - let me take a bit of a different perspective on your "quest" to meet women. One of the great insights I gained in life was when I gained an insight about myself. As a participant in a team building exercise at work everyone in our group had to take a Myers-Briggs Temperament (or Type) Indicator test to assess our personality. The 1st time I took it I thought it was - wellllllllllllll - I had my doubts about it's usefulness. After I received my results and they did a run down on the different aspects of my personality type I still was not all that excited about the test but it did make a few points to me.
1) If ya have a pulse you have enough personality to be alive. We all have a personality and it helps if you know what yours is, and how you interact with other personality types.
2) You can discover your strengths and areas that need "some work".
3) You will be better able to see possible areas of agreement or conflict with your girlfriend, co-workers, bosses, etc.
4) If you are chatting up a person of the wrong personality type - as far as romance goes you are basically wasting your and her time - move on.
5) Even if it does not help you with the gal's - knowing yourself and working to make yourself and your life more complete is a gooooooooooood thing.
6) In my younger and wilder days I was a bar tender and also did some bouncing - both skills where you get to assess personality types pretty quick. Engineer types just flat have a hard time with "girls". Skip the "girls" - they have pretty much skipped over you on 1st sight anyway - and go after real women that have some goals and standards in life. I'd be looking over in the medical research lab......
Good luck with your endeavor sir.
1) If ya have a pulse you have enough personality to be alive. We all have a personality and it helps if you know what yours is, and how you interact with other personality types.
2) You can discover your strengths and areas that need "some work".
3) You will be better able to see possible areas of agreement or conflict with your girlfriend, co-workers, bosses, etc.
4) If you are chatting up a person of the wrong personality type - as far as romance goes you are basically wasting your and her time - move on.
5) Even if it does not help you with the gal's - knowing yourself and working to make yourself and your life more complete is a gooooooooooood thing.
6) In my younger and wilder days I was a bar tender and also did some bouncing - both skills where you get to assess personality types pretty quick. Engineer types just flat have a hard time with "girls". Skip the "girls" - they have pretty much skipped over you on 1st sight anyway - and go after real women that have some goals and standards in life. I'd be looking over in the medical research lab......
Good luck with your endeavor sir.
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