Something to lighten the mood

[techtool]

Amateur gynecologist

Funny, they didn't mention this one at Career Day in high school.

 

[Galu]

Galu said gynaecologist because, in the United Kingdom, there is a 72 to 28 preference for "gynaecology" over "gynecology".

I am on a mission to preserve British English!

 

[nigelwright7557]

I knew a girl at school called Theresa Green....

I had a friend called Richard Head.

 

[brianco]

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's surgery to collect his wife's test results.

The nurse says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?"
"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for an STD. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's terrible! Can’t you do the test again?" asked Mr. Smith.

"Normally, yes. But because of budget restrictions they won't pay for these very expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, we would recommend that you drop your wife off in the middle of town, and if she finds her way home, don't sleep with her!

 

[gpauk]

I had a friend called Richard Head.

I've met a couple of people with that name... And a good few that should have had that name...

 

[chrisb]

Hard guy to cook for

 

[chrisb]

😉

 

[chrisb]

Stop me if you’ve heard this
wait, how would you know

 

[chrisb]

Middle school must have been a nightmare

 

[chrisb]

Kinda fits hand in glove with the “daddy’s in the garden, honey”

 

[nigelwright7557]

My dad had a dentist, Dr Aker.
Our church had Pastor Sinn.

I went in to the dentist yesterday.
I asked how much he charged for treatment.
He said well we have 3 levels of service.
1/ £1000 and you get straight teeth, no blood and no pain.
2/ £100 and you get slightly wonky teeth, a little blood and a little pain.
£/ £10 and you get not a straight tooth, blood up the walls and on the ceiling and you will be screaming in agony.
I said I will take the cheapest option and will send the wife in tomorrow.

 

[wg_ski]

I had a friend called Richard Head.

How about a school Principal named Philip Headington - who gets called “Old Man Screwdriver”.

 

[techtool]

Galu said gynaecologist because, in the United Kingdom, there is a 72 to 28 preference for "gynaecology" over "gynecology".

I am on a mission to preserve British English!

Ok, but English can be challenging on any continent, especially if we throw a little old age or dyslexia into the mix.

 

[chrisb]

👍

 

[chrisb]

Ain’t that the truth

 

[chrisb]

How many Allen keys will it take to put this recipe together

 

[wg_ski]

Need the pieces to the oven, too. Some assembly required.

 

[Ixnay]

"Today the doctor told me that I was going to die. I said that I wanted a second opinion. He said "You're ugly too".
Groucho

 

[chrisb]

That had to hurt

 

[Ixnay]

"Today the doctor told me that I was going to die. I said that I wanted a second opinion. He said "You're ugly too".
Groucho

Chirp chirp.. chirp Nobody?