Incidentally, the scientific instruments used in "Young Frankenstein" -- were borrowed from the original set materials of "Bride of Frankenstein" -- Young Frankenstein is one of the funniest comedies produced in the 1980's "What Knockers!"
"Why thank you"
I love that scene....
"Why thank you"
I love that scene....
Mike Gergen said:
almost as good as Madeline Kahn and Cleavon Little talking of brotwurst "It's twooo, it's twooooo......."
from Stanford
the attached appears in a lab manual for Stanford engineering students:
http://www.stanford.edu/class/ee122/Handouts/EE122_Labs_02_fall2002.pdf
the attached appears in a lab manual for Stanford engineering students:
http://www.stanford.edu/class/ee122/Handouts/EE122_Labs_02_fall2002.pdf
Attachments
I see a lot of easy to read info on the pdf file that you have linked. Where is the humour? Or do you mean the way it's written?
the thumbnail won't come up in Mozilla, but will come up in IE. btw, it is a nicely written piece -- and is being used in another University here in the East.
I am on IE. I can't see the thumbnail either.
I'm saving the pdf file. I wish I have this kind of lab instruction when I was going to College.
I'm saving the pdf file. I wish I have this kind of lab instruction when I was going to College.
Joke of the day
Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks
What if Data Ran Windows98?
WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.
PICARD: On screen. [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.]
PICARD: Data, what's wrong here?
DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select a lower resolution?
PICARD: Make it so. [The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.]
PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans.
DATA: Aye, sir. [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.]
WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain!
PICARD: Shields up!
DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.
PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now.*
DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.
LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data. [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.]
DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any information sent by the Romulans. [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.]
PICARD: Shields... [There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.]
PICARD: Up, Data!
DATA: Aye, sir.
RIKER: All decks, damage report!
WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be unconscious. [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.]
DATA: Shields are now up, captain.
PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead Romulan ship.
WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.]
PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action.
DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console.
PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one.
DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.
PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants?
RIKER: I left them with Geordi.
LAFORGE: What!!? I thought you still had them!
PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory?
DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.
PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1.
DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
PICARD: Abort!
DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
PICARD: Well, fail, then!
DATA: Current nose is no longer valid. [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.]
LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing?
PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data?
RIKER: Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized in industrial control robots. [Suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the console, absolutely motionless.]
PICARD: What's going on?
LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core.
PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them. [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.]
FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?
I was advised to install Linux on my PC after I was really thinking about a Mac. Can you imagine how confused I am?
😕
[Joke courtesy of Jennifer Smiles]
😀
Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks
What if Data Ran Windows98?
WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.
PICARD: On screen. [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.]
PICARD: Data, what's wrong here?
DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select a lower resolution?
PICARD: Make it so. [The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.]
PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans.
DATA: Aye, sir. [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.]
WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain!
PICARD: Shields up!
DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.
PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now.*
DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.
LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data. [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.]
DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any information sent by the Romulans. [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.]
PICARD: Shields... [There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.]
PICARD: Up, Data!
DATA: Aye, sir.
RIKER: All decks, damage report!
WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be unconscious. [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.]
DATA: Shields are now up, captain.
PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead Romulan ship.
WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.]
PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action.
DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console.
PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one.
DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.
PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants?
RIKER: I left them with Geordi.
LAFORGE: What!!? I thought you still had them!
PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory?
DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.
PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1.
DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
PICARD: Abort!
DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
PICARD: Well, fail, then!
DATA: Current nose is no longer valid. [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.]
LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing?
PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data?
RIKER: Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized in industrial control robots. [Suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the console, absolutely motionless.]
PICARD: What's going on?
LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core.
PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them. [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.]
FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?
I was advised to install Linux on my PC after I was really thinking about a Mac. Can you imagine how confused I am?
😕
[Joke courtesy of Jennifer Smiles]
😀
The whole time I was reading that, I was thinking of adding something about a mac, but in the end you beat me to the punch.
Can't comment on Linux but can comment on macs.
Once you've had Mac, you'll never go back.
Unless you're broke and have to settle for a PC that is.😉
Cal
Can't comment on Linux but can comment on macs.
Once you've had Mac, you'll never go back.
Unless you're broke and have to settle for a PC that is.😉
Cal
A litte someting i read in a old Swedish Amiga magazine.
A letter to the "helpsection"
I´ve just bought a new Amiga 500. When I turn on the computer a hand holding a disk appear on the screen. Am i infected with a virus ?
A letter to the "helpsection"
I´ve just bought a new Amiga 500. When I turn on the computer a hand holding a disk appear on the screen. Am i infected with a virus ?
Cal Weldon said:
I believe that the line was, originally "Once you've had a man with no legs you can never go back..." -- quoting Billie Ray Valentine in Trading Places
An externally hosted image should be here but it was not working when we last tested it.
t being "the season" the movie is worth viewing.
Actually jackinnj,
I was doing a take off on what the girls sometimes say. Just replace the mac with black 😉
Cal
I was doing a take off on what the girls sometimes say. Just replace the mac with black 😉
Cal
Santa's Checkride
all of you pilots take heed:
"Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
all of you pilots take heed:
"Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
The Engineer & the Sales Guy
An engineer and a salesman were returning from a national business conference by plane. The salesman was tired after partying on the final night and so wanted to sleep. The engineer of course was bright and alert and wanted some company.
"I know" the engineer said "we could have a quiz and see who are smarter, engineers or sales-people". The sales guy politely declined and went back to dozing. "C'mon" said the engineer "it'll be fun". Again the salesman declined and went back to sleep.
The engineer was getting quite frustrated "Ok, I'll ask you a question and If you get it right I'll give you $5 and if you get it wrong then you give me $5. Then you ask me a question etc. The sales guy again declines more firmly this time, rolls over and proceeds to nap.
The engineer is really agitated now, he want's to prove that engineers are smarter. "Tell you what, I'll ask a question and if you get it wrong you give me $5 and if you get it right I'll give you $50 !!." The engineer now has the salesman's attention, "Ok you first" the sales man replies.
The engineer asks "What is the average mean annual distance between the moon's equator and the earth's equator?"
The salesman has no idea and hands over $5. "Your turn the engineer smirks".
"What goes up a hill on 4 legs and comes down on 3?" asks the salesman.
The engineer is stunned and completely baffled. He pulls out his laptop, connects the the internet (he knows how) and consults all known references, meanwhile the sales man has dozed off. After almost an hour of frantic searching and phoning friends the engineer finally yells out, "ok I' don't know" and hands over $50. The salesman takes the money and goes back to sleep.
The engineer is beside himself now, "OK THEN SMARTY WHAT THE HELL GOES UP A HILL ON 4 LEGS AND COMES DOWN ON 3???!!"
Without opening his eyes the salesman hands over $5.
An engineer and a salesman were returning from a national business conference by plane. The salesman was tired after partying on the final night and so wanted to sleep. The engineer of course was bright and alert and wanted some company.
"I know" the engineer said "we could have a quiz and see who are smarter, engineers or sales-people". The sales guy politely declined and went back to dozing. "C'mon" said the engineer "it'll be fun". Again the salesman declined and went back to sleep.
The engineer was getting quite frustrated "Ok, I'll ask you a question and If you get it right I'll give you $5 and if you get it wrong then you give me $5. Then you ask me a question etc. The sales guy again declines more firmly this time, rolls over and proceeds to nap.
The engineer is really agitated now, he want's to prove that engineers are smarter. "Tell you what, I'll ask a question and if you get it wrong you give me $5 and if you get it right I'll give you $50 !!." The engineer now has the salesman's attention, "Ok you first" the sales man replies.
The engineer asks "What is the average mean annual distance between the moon's equator and the earth's equator?"
The salesman has no idea and hands over $5. "Your turn the engineer smirks".
"What goes up a hill on 4 legs and comes down on 3?" asks the salesman.
The engineer is stunned and completely baffled. He pulls out his laptop, connects the the internet (he knows how) and consults all known references, meanwhile the sales man has dozed off. After almost an hour of frantic searching and phoning friends the engineer finally yells out, "ok I' don't know" and hands over $50. The salesman takes the money and goes back to sleep.
The engineer is beside himself now, "OK THEN SMARTY WHAT THE HELL GOES UP A HILL ON 4 LEGS AND COMES DOWN ON 3???!!"
Without opening his eyes the salesman hands over $5.
Flowcharts
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An externally hosted image should be here but it was not working when we last tested it.
this HAZMAT sticker was given out by one of the vendors at the "American Association for Cancer Research" convention in Los Angeles this past week:
An externally hosted image should be here but it was not working when we last tested it.
Apologies if it's a repeat...
A physicist is stopped for speeding in his car.
The policeman asks "do you know what speed you were doing?"
The physicist replies "No, but I know precicely where I am!"
A physicist is stopped for speeding in his car.
The policeman asks "do you know what speed you were doing?"
The physicist replies "No, but I know precicely where I am!"
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