Something to lighten the mood

[simon7000]

JN,

I should mention invented by others is a device called a “Wheel.” Two of those plus a “Handle” should allow you to make a useful device to allow easier transportation of said object.

ES

 

[soundbrigade]

• How can you tell an elephant is hiding in your mailbox?
• The lid cannot be closed!

• How can tell there's an elephant in the lift?
• The distinctive smell och peanuts ...

REmember all these anecdotes from my younger days (60 years ago) and then there was the Biafra anecdotes referring to the famine (no I won't tell any). Guess there must have been Bellman-anecdotes like "A German, a Frenchman and Bellman was flying when ...".

 

[nigelwright7557]

I just won an argument with my wife.
Expecting divorce papers very soon !

 

[simon7000]

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your bed?

How do you get down from an elephant? (English language joke!)

 

[MagicBus]

How many elephants in a beetle? Five! One inside and four on the roof rack...

 

[AllenB]

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't. You get down from a duck.

 

[soundbrigade]

How many elephants in a beetle? Five! One inside and four on the roof rack...

In Swedish:

• How do you get 4 elephants in a VW Beetle?
• ????
• Two in front seats and 2 in back.

• How do you get 4 giraffes in a VW?
• Simple! Two in fron and 2 in back.
• Idiot! You must get the elephants out first.

 

[Fast Eddie D]

spending way too much time trying to convince higher ups to hire people to train to do what I know.
jn

I tried to do that at my last job. I told my boss I wasn't going to work for him forever, my health was failing. He didn't listen.

When I turned in my resignation letter, he was furious. He acted like it was out of the blue. He tried to get me back a few times. That will never happen. Terrible pay, no benefits, the worst hours possible, no days off.

 

[simon7000]

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your bed?

Elephants are quite polite, they usually leave a tip, although you might not smell it that way.

 

[ItsAllInMyHead]

What do you get if an elephant mates with a rhinoceros?

Elephino!

 

[soundbrigade]

And what do you get if crossing a whale with a mole?

Panama canal.

 

[Galu]

Elephant jokes are a ton of laughs!

 

[Cal Weldon]

not sure when I will retire, but it's not far...

That's what I said a year ago John. I had it all planned.
You know what they say about the best laid plans.
I either have to unplug or take the batteries out of the phones.
Problem is, I don't advertise so all work is from existing clientele and it hurts saying no to those who supported me all these years.

 

[simon7000]

Raise your rates!

 

[levistubby]

Q. What do you get if you cross a tortoise with a sex toy?

A. An armadildo.

 

[techtool]

You know what they say about the best laid plans.

Some plans are better than others.

 

[Cal Weldon]

Wow, that‘s enlightening.
I wonder if I should take a break from this thread and just retire?
Let’s have a vote.

 

[Mark Johnson]

Already retired. See no need to take a break from this thread. MJ

 

[jneutron]

That's what I said a year ago John. I had it all planned.
You know what they say about the best laid plans.
I either have to unplug or take the batteries out of the phones.
Problem is, I don't advertise so all work is from existing clientele and it hurts saying no to those who supported me all these years.

I've been considering it for a while. The problem I have is, what I do everyday I do not consider to be work. When you get paid to do what you have fun doing, I cannot consider that to be "work".

When I do not want to go into the office anymore, then it will be time to go into my mad scientist basement and do the laugh...bwahahahah.

John

 

[Cal Weldon]

I want chrisb to add something here. Not only is he retired, he has entered some of the best stuff posted here recently.