As many of you know, my beloved cat Chloe passed away five weeks ago. The grief is a daily thing and it's not doing me any favors in my quest to regain my health.
Right away I thought about getting a volunteer job at the local shelter. About ten days after her passing, I confidently applied at PAWS shelter, a short walk from my house. (I don't drive any more so wherever I go has to be close. I haven't learned yet how to ride public transportation with visual limitations and quite frankly the notion terrifies me- public transportation is full of predators and wierdos that I'm positive would try to prey on me but that's another rant.) I was upfront about my physical limitations. I also explained how I would be an enormous asset to them (which I most definitely would; I'm great with dogs and cats) and that I was motivated by the need to work with and be around animals. I know how to give a cat a shot, how to give them a pill, I know how to hydrate a sick animal subcutaneously and other vet-tech skills. I also have extensive experience babysitting dogs, cats, and birds.
To my surprise, I was summarily rejected. Too weak, too blind, too sick; they wouldn't even agree to meet me. This is a major slap in the face and quite frankly exacerbates my grief. And now I'm having anxiety about getting another cat. Will I be able to handle her? Will I get too sick or die and leave her with the problem of getting re-homed? My neighbor Dave down the street recently put his 17 year old dog down. He is so grief stricken that he is almost bedridden, but won't adopt another dog because of the same concerns.
I find it hard to accept that I'm that old an in the way. How do seniors stay happy when people summarily dismiss them as useless and stupid? I have a lot to offer and so do a lot of other seniors. My neighbor Dave is 79 and still sharp. He wrote for the Chicago Tribune for 40 years. Shall we just put him on an iceberg and shove him out in the ocean too?
Right away I thought about getting a volunteer job at the local shelter. About ten days after her passing, I confidently applied at PAWS shelter, a short walk from my house. (I don't drive any more so wherever I go has to be close. I haven't learned yet how to ride public transportation with visual limitations and quite frankly the notion terrifies me- public transportation is full of predators and wierdos that I'm positive would try to prey on me but that's another rant.) I was upfront about my physical limitations. I also explained how I would be an enormous asset to them (which I most definitely would; I'm great with dogs and cats) and that I was motivated by the need to work with and be around animals. I know how to give a cat a shot, how to give them a pill, I know how to hydrate a sick animal subcutaneously and other vet-tech skills. I also have extensive experience babysitting dogs, cats, and birds.
To my surprise, I was summarily rejected. Too weak, too blind, too sick; they wouldn't even agree to meet me. This is a major slap in the face and quite frankly exacerbates my grief. And now I'm having anxiety about getting another cat. Will I be able to handle her? Will I get too sick or die and leave her with the problem of getting re-homed? My neighbor Dave down the street recently put his 17 year old dog down. He is so grief stricken that he is almost bedridden, but won't adopt another dog because of the same concerns.
I find it hard to accept that I'm that old an in the way. How do seniors stay happy when people summarily dismiss them as useless and stupid? I have a lot to offer and so do a lot of other seniors. My neighbor Dave is 79 and still sharp. He wrote for the Chicago Tribune for 40 years. Shall we just put him on an iceberg and shove him out in the ocean too?
I'm sorry to hear about your cat.
Yes, it's quite terrible how people are treated because they are "old". People are treated like disposible white goods these days IMHO.
My father keeps "happy" because he's quite independant and like to watch television and movies. That's probably 50% of his time spent. The opposite of me. Not a fan of television of movies, and I hate being alone.
I looked into some contract mainframe jobs for him since he knows more about JCL, TSO, and IMS than anyone else I know.
He's 76 years old though. He may as well be 100 as far as most employers are concerned.
At 75, he was not only supporting scheduling on the mainframe system for Xerox, he was also handling the provisioning of cell phones for the workers. Not a lot of 75 year olds can learn to support new tech, right?
But it's the "normal" now. At least he doesn't NEED to work. He was good with his money, but I know other seniors that still work a minimum wage job to make ends meet! IMHO no 75 year old woman should be asking "Do you want fries with that?" unless they just want to for whatever reason, not by necessity.
I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. Do you feel able to be a foster parent? If so, you might be able to work with a shelter that's more inclusive than the one close to your home.
I'm not sure about fostering cats. I become terribly attached to them. Any cat I live with I fall in love with. I still miss my neighbor's cats. He moved to California with his five cats. He says that even a year later they're still looking for me. He says they really stare at people walking by, hoping one of them is me. It makes me sad because I want to see them too.
One of my neighbors offered to lend me a cat. Seems strange to me but they said he didn't get along with their cat, and he's staying with somebody else now. I'm skeptical and I'm not looking to invite any heartbreak into my life. If the cat's sick it'll break my heart. If I have to give him up it'll break my heart. He's not young either and I can't go through this again in a year or two. My biometrics have already seriously degraded since my girl passed away and I feel the stress I'm experiencing now may very well kill me.
It might take me a while to sort this out.
One of my neighbors offered to lend me a cat. Seems strange to me but they said he didn't get along with their cat, and he's staying with somebody else now. I'm skeptical and I'm not looking to invite any heartbreak into my life. If the cat's sick it'll break my heart. If I have to give him up it'll break my heart. He's not young either and I can't go through this again in a year or two. My biometrics have already seriously degraded since my girl passed away and I feel the stress I'm experiencing now may very well kill me.
It might take me a while to sort this out.
My friend's husband passed away at home a couple days ago. I spoke to her for about an hour yesterday. She's feeling extreme guilt because she was outside working in the garden when he passed. I tried to help her (I think I did) but the situation made me feel much, much sadder. They're only 62 and her husband was a wonderful person. His name is Ed too. They're from Poland.
We lost our little Corgi just a week ago.
We read Companion Through The Darkness by Stephanie Ericsson.
It is framed in terms of a husband who passed too soon, but it applies.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ADXB7X8/
There's paper (from $6 used), and Kindle.
It is also on B&N, Kobo, and Google Play.
I don't see talking book. There is a similar title but it is about depressed saints.
Hello Eddie ,
My wife is a cat person, I like dogs , we tried cats , maybe it was bad luck, but Oh boy!
1.5years ago my wife comes home with this tiny shih tzu dog, I can’t believe how much we love her, Zoey is just an amazing pet . I should pay you a visit so she could put a smile on your face .
My wife is a cat person, I like dogs , we tried cats , maybe it was bad luck, but Oh boy!
1.5years ago my wife comes home with this tiny shih tzu dog, I can’t believe how much we love her, Zoey is just an amazing pet . I should pay you a visit so she could put a smile on your face .
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That, to me, is what's sick. What do they expect? A 20 year old to work for free? Whomever's got the best formatted resume and passes all the "Tell me about a time when you were confronted with a difficult..." interview questions? Capitolism's relentless priority with efficiency and stock-holder security has leaked like some kind of poison gas into people's attitudes about everything.
I think you need to be assertive about this and - eventually - get the animal companion. There's so many of these beings where that would clearly be a win-win situation. Death and grief are sort of written into the risk clauses of the relationship contract. The rewards part is written like a dream come true, usually for both parties!
This is not a corporate job. It's a volunteer job at a charity!
I do plan to get another companion. I hope I'm ready soon. It's so sad around here. Everything reminds me of Chloe. The spot on the bed where she slept, the windowsill she sat on, her favorite chair... it's unbearable.
That's what I mean - that mindset has leaked everywhere.
At one point in my life, I used to fancy myself a halfway decent person to talk to about grief. Turns out I cant do a damn for anybody that helps their processing. I note two relationships in my life ended coincidentally - within a year - after the dog died. For all I know it could have been the other way around; the dog reflecting what had become of the relationship. See what a "gifted therapist" I'd be?
I'm sorry to read about your little corgi, PRR. The way we love our little cheweenie, and how he's systematically worked his way into our hearts over the last 5 years (and from a crate into our beds...), I'll be torn down to zero when his time comes.
A former colleague lost his wife a couple of weeks ago. I stepped up to ask him to lunch this Thursday, to which he's agreed. I hope I can be useful. Recently, I joined the "Lacey Maker Space"; maybe I'll take him there to see all the tools. They have a sawstop table saw, which I used to cut a 84" panel in half - with one end on the fence. Cant do that on my table saw...
Thanks for your thoughts.
The day we got Chloe:
She is bigger now.
We still have our Chloe. She misses Reachie too.
The day we got Chloe:
She is bigger now.
Yes. That little dog took-up most of a bed; no more. In the car, Reachie used to step on the button and put the window down, so I disconnected the switch; today I sighfully reconnected. (My Chloe is too clumsy to work the switch; anyway too big for frequent rides in a sedan.) We try to file past pets' photos and collars, which raises a cloud of ghosts each time.
I recently read "Winning is Not Enough", Sir Jackie Stewart's autobiography: he's a three time Formula One World Champion who lost many, many friends over his years of racing.
However, he writes that the loss of one of his Norfolk Terriers affected him in a quite different way to those tragedies, he felt like part of his soul had gone. That's as good a description of losing a dog as I've read.
On the subject of age: in Oz it's rarely worth applying for a job if you're over 50.
Geoff
However, he writes that the loss of one of his Norfolk Terriers affected him in a quite different way to those tragedies, he felt like part of his soul had gone. That's as good a description of losing a dog as I've read.
On the subject of age: in Oz it's rarely worth applying for a job if you're over 50.
Geoff
Fast Eddie, I offer my condolences.
I have had, bred, and loved many dogs. When my wife and I reminisce over dogs we've had, our focus is on the delightful, funny, or occasionally amusingly annoying, things particular dogs have done. I think the joy that existed in the relationship with any animal companion is the important thing to remember, and enjoy. That is, after all, why we have them.
As an aside, the dog in 'my' photo was born here, and we owned both of his parents. He's now thirteen and a half, and I doubt he'll make it through another winter (not that winters are hard on his breed - it's summer they dislike) but his rear is weak and he's slowly dwindling.
I have had, bred, and loved many dogs. When my wife and I reminisce over dogs we've had, our focus is on the delightful, funny, or occasionally amusingly annoying, things particular dogs have done. I think the joy that existed in the relationship with any animal companion is the important thing to remember, and enjoy. That is, after all, why we have them.
As an aside, the dog in 'my' photo was born here, and we owned both of his parents. He's now thirteen and a half, and I doubt he'll make it through another winter (not that winters are hard on his breed - it's summer they dislike) but his rear is weak and he's slowly dwindling.
This has reached the point of absurdity. I applied to adopt a cat at another local shelter and my application was rejected. My health profile isn't up to standard and they're afraid the cat will be in peril if I die or have a medical emergency. I have to bring a younger person in to co-sign as the person responsible for the cat's well being. (They didn't say "younger" but the implication is obvious.)
Are cats like chips now? Not enough to go around? Or are cats are better off languishing in shelters than being placed in loving homes with experienced cat owners? I know the cats would be better off with me than living their life in a cage. People check up on me every day but they're all over 50, which is probably too old for the millenial eggheads running this society.
Are cats like chips now? Not enough to go around? Or are cats are better off languishing in shelters than being placed in loving homes with experienced cat owners? I know the cats would be better off with me than living their life in a cage. People check up on me every day but they're all over 50, which is probably too old for the millenial eggheads running this society.
That's terrible especially considering cats basically take care of themselves...
Dogs have owners, cats have staff 🙂
Dogs have owners, cats have staff 🙂
I'm going to find a cat in spite of this nonsense.
There's no strays in my neighborhood. When I lived in the city there were always strays. My first cat, when I was 7 years old, was a stray. And nobody's cat has kittens any more. Everyone's so responsible, a good thing. But if someone's cat has kittens I might take a couple.
There's no strays in my neighborhood. When I lived in the city there were always strays. My first cat, when I was 7 years old, was a stray. And nobody's cat has kittens any more. Everyone's so responsible, a good thing. But if someone's cat has kittens I might take a couple.
My niece and her partner who had 2 dogs, both female, one of whom was spayed, wanted to adopt a female border collie from a rescue organization. They were initially declined because the rule was a dog couldn't go to anyone with an 'intact' dog. WTF? The dogs in question are both females. They went to the head of the organization who, fortunately, saw the error in the rule and allowed the adoption.
I don't know enough about cat shelters/rescue organizations to comment, but many - not all - dog 'rescue' organizations are simply conduits for puppy mills.
I don't know enough about cat shelters/rescue organizations to comment, but many - not all - dog 'rescue' organizations are simply conduits for puppy mills.