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I'm really sorry. Yes it is traumatic.

Thank you for your kindness.

Before Cleo, I had another Calico also called Cookie. She was actually my neighbor's cat. Being an outdoor cat, she wandered into my driveway one day and eventually decided to stay with us instead.

I looked after her for a good 12 years. She was probably 16 by then because when we took her in, she was about 4.
One day, she got hyper-thyroid. For the next 3 yrs, I devoted my life to caring for her full time. She responded well to medication.
When she was 19, her heart began to fail. Eventually, I had to put her down.

It hit me really hard. The loss was unbearable. I had this intense pain in my heart that lasted for almost 2 yrs.
Psychologists call this "Complicated Grief". Apparently, this kind of grief can last for months, even years.

When I lost Cleo in July, it hit me again. The excruciating pain came back.
I fell into a dark abyss where I'm all alone, surrounded by emptiness.

After Cleo passed away, I could feel her presence in the places in my house that we spent most our time together.
It was so heartbreaking that I had to leave the lights on at night. My bedroom, living room and her private room where her litter box was.

This went on for more than a month. When I woke up yesterday, her presence was gone.
It was only then that I realized she crossed over during my sleep. She was lingering around because she didn't want to leave me.
But seeing me suffer, she decided it's best for her to go on her journey.

The pain and anguish within me have subsided. I am now at peace and grateful to Cleo for choosing me to share the last 3yrs of her life.

After losing two cats that I love dearly, I am hesitant to adopt another. I honestly believe I will not be able to withstand the grief when she passes on.
 
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I had this intense pain in my heart that lasted for almost 2 yrs.
Psychologists call this "Complicated Grief".
There's a very irrational thing you can do to help yourself move through such grief in a little less time. Write your deceased a letter, in which you tell them about what it was like for you to have them in your life; reflect on their mannerisms, quirks, intelligence - all the stuff you can think of that made them, them in your eyes. It's...hard to do and most would avoid such an emotionally effortful exercise, but like a lot of things, it's well worth "cranking through it".

20+ years ago now, back when I had my Acoustats, one of my two dogs left me, though I'm sure he didnt want to. I printed out the last page of such a letter, had it laminated, mounted it in the style of a campground notice with the little roof ornamentation and nailed it to a tree under which I had scattered his ashes. This is in a reasonably remote military training area we often frequented for off-leash walks (He was a Doberman after all) and frolicking in the water at the concrete stream crossings they'd constructed.

Inevitably, others have found the site and instead of defacing it, they buried their dogs under that same tree. Havent been back there in ... probably coming up on 10 years now. I sometimes wonder if his placard is still there, when I come to think of him, or very rarely happen to drive past the area, where that tree is visable from the roadway. These days you have to get an "area pass", check a schedule to even go to the place; there's large signs warning of trespass at all the entrances.
 
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There's a very irrational thing you can do to help yourself move through such grief in a little less time. Write your deceased a letter......
Thank you for your advice. I'm fine now. Cleo has crossed over and with it comes closure.
I'm no longer grieving like before. There's tranquility and wonderful memories of Cleo.
I still love her dearly, sad that she's no longer with me but I'm able to move on.
 
I'm still grieving for Chloe. It's not as terrible as it was a month ago. I can recall fond memories without being sad. After she passed it was unbearable and unrelenting.

It helps a lot to have Cookie here. We need each other. It's already like she's always been here.
 
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Well it's been about two months and I would say Cookie is settled in. She listens to me. She seems very happy here. And I am very happy to have her here.

She's grown a lot. She fetches a ball like a dog; she brings it right back and puts it in my hand. She's very energetic but not as destructive as she was. She was very stubborn but now we've got a routine. She always cuddles after playtime.

I have to get some pics. I'll work on it. Pics will say it all.
 
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