but when I'm helping them, even Gremlins became inconsolable
exact case when I'm helping Gremlins is when I try this:
My understanding is

Also my other jfets can conduct without the 100K.
utter coincidence that other set of JFets is more prone to "self-balance", as you connected them in wrong way
but, original circuit isn't made to work solely on Prayers and coincidence ..........
With the 100K added both jfets conduct now.
My understanding is that jfets are class A device they can conduct without any biasing.
A DC reference potential for the gate is not optional, and is required for the device to function.
The device operates based on the DC potential difference between the gate and source.
If the gate potential is undefined, then so is the device operation.
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If there is great precision in matching (never) then they will bias up - poorly.
You always need an input DC voltage reference.

You always need an input DC voltage reference.
