PS.
I must add a bit more regarding IQ >
There is also something called: EQ. That is Emotional Quota.
It is another sad fact that a persons EQ can interfere with their IQ.
I must add a bit more regarding IQ >
There is also something called: EQ. That is Emotional Quota.
It is another sad fact that a persons EQ can interfere with their IQ.
Very good point Mister Audio,
narcissists can only have feelings for themselves, everything and everyone must serve their 'needs' or be discarded and/or ridiculed. If their EQ is low or non existant then they are capable of anything. Just recently I had to deal with a doctor in charge of a geriatric floor who was obviously incapable of any kind of emotional regard for the patients. It was obvious he was a classic example of being 'character armoured'.
narcissists can only have feelings for themselves, everything and everyone must serve their 'needs' or be discarded and/or ridiculed. If their EQ is low or non existant then they are capable of anything. Just recently I had to deal with a doctor in charge of a geriatric floor who was obviously incapable of any kind of emotional regard for the patients. It was obvious he was a classic example of being 'character armoured'.
You described my brother to a "T." I've never seen him show the slightest regard for anyone's needs or feelings, even when he had caused the grief. He never said "Thank you" or "I'm sorry" in his life.
I've seen other narcissists (like my father) that were aware they were A-1 aholes. He could bring himself to apologize for his atrocious behavior and was sincerely contrite. But my brother seemed to have no awareness of just how repugnant and awful he was. If you pointed something out to him he would immediately try to turn the tables and blame you. He even blamed me when he stole my car and wrecked it; he said it was my fault because I left the visor down. Then with the same breath he tried to convince me to buy him a car! His lack of self awareness was appalling and disturbing.
And he was stupid; unbelievably stupid. But he was manipulative so I think it was his unbelievable lack of awareness that made him stupid. I think sometimes the stupid routine was just an act, because he could remember stuff he wanted to remember.
I've seen other narcissists (like my father) that were aware they were A-1 aholes. He could bring himself to apologize for his atrocious behavior and was sincerely contrite. But my brother seemed to have no awareness of just how repugnant and awful he was. If you pointed something out to him he would immediately try to turn the tables and blame you. He even blamed me when he stole my car and wrecked it; he said it was my fault because I left the visor down. Then with the same breath he tried to convince me to buy him a car! His lack of self awareness was appalling and disturbing.
And he was stupid; unbelievably stupid. But he was manipulative so I think it was his unbelievable lack of awareness that made him stupid. I think sometimes the stupid routine was just an act, because he could remember stuff he wanted to remember.
There's someone at work that I suspect that they might be a narcissist; they seem to make a lot of stupid decisions, but just too many to be random; it's like they are deliberately making stupid decisions to cause chaos. Unfortunately, this effects the customers, the companies reputation, and the future of the business (and our employment) which is estimated to be a few months.
I think causing chaos possibly makes them feel powerful.
I think causing chaos possibly makes them feel powerful.
I believe some are aware and get off on the power trip, like Charles Manson. Some are aware that other people have traits like empathy and a conscience (both of which the narcissist lacks to varying degrees) and exploit that in other people. Some of them learn self awareness and try to compensate for their shortcomings.
And some are blissfully unaware of their shortcomings. Some of the awful things my brother did and said seem to indicate that he was unaware that other people had feelings of empathy, altruism, affection, nostalgia, loyalty, etc. He would say the most shocking things and not understand why people took offense. He was Charles Manson sans the intellect and charisma. I often said he was missing part of his personality, and I wasn't joking.
And some are blissfully unaware of their shortcomings. Some of the awful things my brother did and said seem to indicate that he was unaware that other people had feelings of empathy, altruism, affection, nostalgia, loyalty, etc. He would say the most shocking things and not understand why people took offense. He was Charles Manson sans the intellect and charisma. I often said he was missing part of his personality, and I wasn't joking.
“He was Charles Manson without the intellect and charisma.”
”You can’t kill kill.” - Charles Manson
”You can’t kill kill.” - Charles Manson
Always wondered about doctors being like that. Perhaps they start out in a better way, but being around the shop on a daily basis - with all the death and dismemberment - they have to eventually armor, or else fly apart emotionally.
Imagine having a job that's just steeped in grief as daily experience. You'd have to be a saint or something to take that on and still be "emotionally available" to each and every. Easier to "Whelp - slaps thighs" and run off to the next patient, lest you get sucked into each's personal drama emotionally.
I couldnt do it. Give me some inanimate objects to work on, like a fan or data logger. Maybe I can make this arrangement of transistors cooperate; even they put up a back breaking fight to instead go up in smoke.
Older brother? I know I share the "selective memory" thing you describe in him. At least according to my wife ;')
We live in a world where the internet has shown us that a shockingly large number of people think that if you heat skittles, popcorn kernels and a bit of oil in a pot you will end up with individually colored popcorn.
Without time to daydream where will the next amazing ideas come from?
I know a grade school teacher that said they've seen the kids creative writing stories go from being wildly unique adventures to now they are mostly just chunks of movies that they've seen.
There was a book some years ago (can't remember the title) where the author said to ask yourself of the news you took in today, how much of it affects you directly and how much of it can you have any control over. Once there was much less news but what there was affected the people hearing and reading it directly. Weather for crops, construction in town, etc. Now 'news' sites get people riled up by telling them what is happening hundreds and even thousands of miles away, often, completely removed from them.
'News' sources feeding us information that they know we will like and agree with can make us less questioning of other things we are told. There is no need for critical thinking if all they tell us are things we like. Why would we question those claims?
That reminds me of the commercials they used to run that said "we need band in schools because kids that take band do better in math", umm... I think it is "kids that do better in math tend to take band"
When everyone wasn't so completely connected all the time kids could grow up in their own world with their own dreams and find out that people in other states and towns liked different music, used slightly different slang and were into different foods. Now kids thousands of miles away all are instantly into the same thing at the same time. And it is a world of "look what you don't have!" in the programming.
Really showing my age here, but I remember the old stories about horses that could do basic math, except that when you moved the owner out of view they couldn't anymore because they didn't have the subtle (and often unintentional) cues from the owner when they had stamped the right number of times.
I once read that one of the main problems they had in the early years of the shuttle was not being able to get upper management to okay the expense for computers and they weren't allowed to accept gifts from vendors so they could only use the 'free' computers for a limited amount of time. One claimed that the only indication they immediately had that the Challenger had gone wrong was the radar tracking indicated it was tracking multiple objects. The telemetry wasn't processed in real time, it was stored for later.
From a psychological standpoint I wonder if our brains don't need some downtime during the day. A bit of time to contemplate and process what they've taken in.
Without time to daydream where will the next amazing ideas come from?
I know a grade school teacher that said they've seen the kids creative writing stories go from being wildly unique adventures to now they are mostly just chunks of movies that they've seen.
There was a book some years ago (can't remember the title) where the author said to ask yourself of the news you took in today, how much of it affects you directly and how much of it can you have any control over. Once there was much less news but what there was affected the people hearing and reading it directly. Weather for crops, construction in town, etc. Now 'news' sites get people riled up by telling them what is happening hundreds and even thousands of miles away, often, completely removed from them.
'News' sources feeding us information that they know we will like and agree with can make us less questioning of other things we are told. There is no need for critical thinking if all they tell us are things we like. Why would we question those claims?
I see that surprisingly often online. Someone simply says "I like this" and the response is "Why would you like that? You'd have to be stupid to like that. Now let me explain to you how much smarter I am for not liking that". The phrase "that's not for me" is more and more replaced with "that shouldn't exist".
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Amazing stories & comments above!
( what a strange creature the Human is )
As I got older in life, and a seemingly endless bombardment of crap from 'crazy people'
I had to distance and reject the DRAMA of so many people. I couldn't continue the status quo.
Although this left me with less (so called) friends, I gained an increasing feeling of peace.
So now I live very quietly with nearly no drama.
( what a strange creature the Human is )
As I got older in life, and a seemingly endless bombardment of crap from 'crazy people'
I had to distance and reject the DRAMA of so many people. I couldn't continue the status quo.
Although this left me with less (so called) friends, I gained an increasing feeling of peace.
So now I live very quietly with nearly no drama.
I was stuck with my brother. He had nobody else. In retrospect, he probably would have been better off institutionalized. I hadn't seen his apartment for years when he died, and it was a shock. It was disturbing. But I had promised my parents on their deathbeds that I'd never let him go to prison or a mental institution. In retrospect those institutions exist for people like him.
So now crazy people roam the streets free in my community, screaming at people. There's a guy that rides a bike around downtown. He rides up behind people and starts swearing very loudly. It frightened me a couple times at first. Police say they have every right to be batshart crazy on the street. They're not chasing homeless people away either, and there are a few smelly encampments.
So now crazy people roam the streets free in my community, screaming at people. There's a guy that rides a bike around downtown. He rides up behind people and starts swearing very loudly. It frightened me a couple times at first. Police say they have every right to be batshart crazy on the street. They're not chasing homeless people away either, and there are a few smelly encampments.
Maybe the madness is spreading, maybe it's a response to overpopulation, stress, insecurity etc. Could it in some cases be a defense mechanism, if people think your crazy they won't mess with you 😀
I never had one; lucky me. I was going to guess he was older, but clearly I was wrong about that. Wondering about the nurture / nature thing and it seem that some folks just come in that way; there isnt a specific thing you can point to during a life as "cause" or that you can hang such behavior on. May he RIP, or, may he have gotten whatever needed from just that one experience - and not have to repeat it next time around.
For a long time now I have believed that it is a combination of both. Given our knowledge of Genetics, and more recently Epigenetics.
( the next bit is my opinion and based on slow learning )
It was a sad time for me when I had to accept the 'fact' that there are EVIL PEOPLE > actually born that way, and nurture doesn't fix it. (bad seeds)
I don't believe in Heaven & Hell, but life and the 'human condition' can sure seem like Purgatory.
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT >
I found this brand new YouTube video.
There are already 100's of books & videos on the subject, and I am not necessarily a proponent of such. I think my mind is too lazy.
Here it is anyway, just for pondering.
First, this thread is going off track, as usual.
Second, I know people who can look at your (Hindu style) horoscope and tell a lot about you, but telling the unbelievers that is is based on mathematical calculations takes some convincing.
Western horoscopes are very low resolution crude descriptors in comparison.
We have courses in Astrology here, the graduates have to study mathematics based on our ancient texts as part of the 3 year course.
And that may get me reported for posting religious material.
Yes, I have good and average people in my family, fortunately no scoundrels or wastrels.
And my observation is that the youngest children, particularly those born after the mother was above 35 years age at delivery, tend to be physically and mentally less developed than their older siblings.
But like I said, it is a personal opinion, which I do not wish to force upon you.
Second, I know people who can look at your (Hindu style) horoscope and tell a lot about you, but telling the unbelievers that is is based on mathematical calculations takes some convincing.
Western horoscopes are very low resolution crude descriptors in comparison.
We have courses in Astrology here, the graduates have to study mathematics based on our ancient texts as part of the 3 year course.
And that may get me reported for posting religious material.
Yes, I have good and average people in my family, fortunately no scoundrels or wastrels.
And my observation is that the youngest children, particularly those born after the mother was above 35 years age at delivery, tend to be physically and mentally less developed than their older siblings.
But like I said, it is a personal opinion, which I do not wish to force upon you.
It's both. I did some digging into my ancestry and found that mental illness was pretty common on both sides.
My brother was a delinquent pretty much since he was about 10 years old, but when he was around 18 years old he did some acid and he hasn't been the same since. I took mescaline, "magic mushrooms", and LSD in college and it didn't scramble my brains at all; it was wonderful but I'll never do it again and I strongly recommend against experimenting with stuff like that. Plus we grew up in a horrible neighborhood rife with crime and drugs, and my father was an irate authoritarian and quite frankly a frightening parent with substance abuse and mental issues of his own.
Narcissists are at least sociopaths and some are psychopaths as well. 75% are male, I have (maybe had, I hav'nt had contact with it for about 27 years) a sister who is a really malevolent one. Totally self centred, her son was diagnosed as a schizophrenic at 15. He was their 'darling boy' until my sister and her husband realised that their daughter was the 'bright one' she left Cambridge uni with a double first. It was like they dropped him off a ten story building, he never recovered. I was more like a father to him than his 'real' father. Then one day he 'turned' and that was that. No concern at all when her mother was close to death and deliberately engineered a quicker death for her father because his apartment was worth a lot of money. Mentally dominated my wife to be who is a gentle empathetic person. Angela would come home thinking I had 'removed' the problem from our lives. In another age it would have been my duty as the fittest man of the clannad to terminate her in front of the clan.
That's the problem in this 'modern age' there is no real justice only law and who only profits from the law - yes that's right.
What school anywhere teaches the young to really look at the human species, not one.
In fact, schizophrenia is more prevalent in urban areas than in rural areas.
And all of the behavioral manifestations of schizophrenia (hallucinations, delusions, dissociating, catatonia, and more) are defense mechanisms that our brain employs. You don't have to be crazy to experience some of them. People hallucinate from extreme distress like grief; I know I have. And various types of dissociations are fairly common too, under times of duress (like extreme physical pain).
As distressing as these manifestations might be to people observing them, and often to the person experiencing them, displaying them doesn't make you crazy. Selective amnesia is a type of dissociation, and it should be clear how this might operate as a defense mechanism. But thinking you're Hitler for ten years of your life (like my brother did) does mean you're mentally ill.
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