Funniest snake oil theories

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Oh feeling crap... been on morphine for a few days so feeling a bit fuzzy round the edges... more holes in me than a sieve, didn't know they gave you complimentary intra muscular jabs to combat the nausea from the morphine, cant believe some take these sort of things for fun!!!!:D

No antiemetic (e.g. Zofran)?! My fortunately short experience with morphine explained to me very well why there's an opiate abuse crisis (at least here in the US). Scared the crap out of me how it made me feel. Hopefully I won't need another bolus soon -- yeesh that stuff is scary.

Long and short--fingers crossed for you. Hope your treatment is (mostly) killing the bad guys, and far faster than it's killing you. :/
 
The opiate crisis pales in comparison to the alcohol and tobacco issues I see. Morphine is far less toxic to the body compared to legal alcohol. Drunk people are so much more annoying then people nodding off too. Then again drunk people do some pretty funny stuff from time to time.

I was in the emergency room and they gave me morphine and it wasn't working good enough and they were trying to put a tube in my chest. The doctor then gave me another shot but this time it was fentanyl.......holy crap what a feeling.

For people in pain especially chronic pain opiates can be a miracle trust me. Its unfortunate the authorities dried up all the scripts so people turn to street drugs. Heroin almost immediately converts to morphine in our bodies so it has the same pain relief benefits. Unfortunately the initial rush probably from this conversion is what drug abusers seek, it is scary how people can misuse and abuse such a powerful substance.

A few bad apples so they say...
 
My experience of Morphine is a four days stay in hospital after a five meter fall and a crushed vertebra.

First Day.
Nurse: Out of ten, what's your pain level ?.
Me: Ummm, About five (Ex road racing cyclist).
Nurse: Here take these...(Panadol.......retards).

Next round.
Nurse: Out of ten, what's your pain level ?.
Me: ELEVEN....
Nurse: Here take these....(Morphine)

Result: Fade to black in 5 minutes (just like Keith Richards describes) and then awaken three hours later back to the same raging pain, BUT you got three hours of peace/silence.

Good drug when you need it, elsewise poison, serious poison, bad poison.

Dan.
 
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The opiate crisis pales in comparison to the alcohol and tobacco issues I see.

While alcohol and tobacco are enormous problems, the most recent years' stats are not kind to opiate abuse. And much of it isn't bad apples, so to speak, but a host of confounding factors riding on top of their tremendous addictive properties.

About the Epidemic | HHS.gov

And to avoid this sliding more sideways, I'll stop here.


Like the other Dan (although I prefer Daniel :D), I'm an ex-road bike racer, among other vehicles to inflict pain in the spirit of athleticism, my pain scale is very screwed up and my imagination is very good. :D After breaking my clavicle in a bike crash I had to sit there and think about where I sat on the pain scale, 3? 4? The road rash hurt way worse. No morphine there, just for when I had appendicitis...which was unpleasant (but pain was manageable).

And to lighten the mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VR4onx2riQ


Lastly, any of our readership facing such medical struggles, I hope for the best outcomes given your circumstances. (Yeah, I know that sounds a bit dry)
 
I have herniated discs among other spine conditions, my pain scale is messed up so bad because I am use to pain. I went in for a check up and they asked how my back was and my pain level, I said pain was a little higher than usual, maybe a 4. The doctor said I just looked not well so the gave me a quick xray, good thing my right lung was 35% collapsed. It usually hurts when I breathe anyway because of pinched nerves.
 
I'm astounded you're not enjoying it up to the hilt, an unlimited supply of government approved dope and totally FOB.

Think of the pile of quids a clinic fetish club would charge, again all complimentary.
To quote Prince George from Blackadder : You lucky B......

jacco gets it! This is the attitude to have!!

Anytime I am in the hospital it obviously isn't good but hey you might as well take full advantages of all the amenities. I had really bad acute pancreatitis one time and I was in the hospital for a week or so, doped up the whole time, I had these cute little nurses come in and pump me full of morphine every couple of hours. By day two or three I could walk around and that's when I would get all pumped full of high quality dope and walk around with my IV bag harassing all the depressed people whining in bed. If I am gonna die I am gonna have some fun, I don't want to be one of those people crying in bed treating the nurses badly because I feel like sh1t. Really the worst part was not being able to eat or drink for a week, I mean absolutely nothing! I had to beg the nurse to give me some ice to swirl around my mouth, she made me promise to not swallow.

jacco seems you are a cool cat
 

After general anaesthesia, I'm fully awake with a smile and a jest before the operation room door slams. Trick is to go in with a grin and a joke, how one enters a revolving door is how one exits. (I've worked in operation rooms during surgery)
Most people in pain try to ignore it by thinking of something else. The trick for managing physical pain is not to flee/retreat, but fully focus on where it hurts and use the mind as attenuation lever. Takes practice

(I'm a cry baby, walt disney and hardcore porn, horror movies freak me out)
 
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The trick for managing physical pain is not to flee/retreat, but fully focus on where it hurts and use the mind as attenuation lever. Takes practice)

Yes it is a strange thing to wrap the mind around when in grave danger. Keeping calm and focusing on things like heart rate and breathing is key I think but it's hard when things are mangled and you know organs are failing, it's like this is bad but hey lets control what we still can. I had doctors and nurses say that they can't believe my blood pressure and heart rate were so low in certain conditions, I guess most people lose control when things go bad which makes it harder for them to do their job.

Being a human being is weird at times:eek:
 
Most people in pain try to ignore it by thinking of something else. The trick for managing physical pain is not to flee/retreat, but fully focus on where it hurts and use the mind as attenuation lever. Takes practice

Yeah, I'd have to dig up the body of research into psychological pain management, but the story I remember being told is, generally, that individuals with high pain tolerance tend to be a lot more Zen about the whole ordeal. E.g. acknowledge pain and kind of just accept its existence as opposed to fighting/attempting to ignore it. Which is pretty much how I address pain.

Comically, all 3 times I've gone under general, I'm an obnoxious chatterbox when I wake up until those anesthetics wear off. Fortunately I'm not an obnoxious chatterbox when going into the OR as much as doing my best to be quiet, calm and do what I can to make the medical staff's job easier. A help-me-help-you mindset, so to speak (I'm the same way with pretty much any service industry thing, too, much to my friends' gentle teasing). They have enough on their plate and it's what I can control.

But, don't get me started on medical snake oil. Audio is one thing, health is a whole different ballgame.
 
Pain:. Kidney stones hurt like hell, and in my experience the pain is worse because you can't touch the spot, like if you hurt on the outside you grab that part if you. Once I had a kidney stone which took its sweet time moving from kidney to bladder, then decided to stay there for a while. I constantly felt like I had to pee for a couple of days. I was drinking fluids like crazy to try to flush the d*** thing out. Suddenly one afternoon I had to go again but there was a sharp pain as well. I made myself relax, and the kidney stone passed with no pain (but a very peculiar sensation) and plopped into the toilet bowl. I was so excited I reached in and retrieved it before I flushed. I wrapped it in tissue and took it to show my doctor. He was suitably impressed. It was cylindrical, about 2 or 3 mm diameter and maybe 5 mm long - keep in mind I did not measure it and my sense of proportion may have been distorted. It had a texture like cement, quite rough. Anyway the doc raised his eyebrows and said "You passed that? OK, you are a tough guy!". He was wrong about that, but I think the secret was to not tense up or fight it, just let it go.

Having said all that, the preceding week was hell while that thing exited my kidney and passed through the ureter.
 
saw an inexpensive toaster oven at Walmart today advertised in big letters as using "natural convection - after all, who wants their food cooked unnaturally in a conventional "convection" oven. Bet they go the extra mile an use oxygen free high conductivity copper in the wiring, and ESD safe non electronic controls as well. (Three knobs; timer, temperature, and mode switch; I'd be willing to bet a case of Guiness Stout that the timer is spring driven with mechanical contacts, the temperature control uses a bi-metal sensor and mechanical contacts; and the mode switch mechanically selects top, bottom, or both heating elements.
 
I quickly found out the hard way that food and opiates don't mix.....turns into a PITA worse than the back pain.
I chose to heal without pharmaceuticals......six months in a body brace, and medicinal whiskey.

Dan.

Opiates are a "racket" . I just had surgery , after about 5 days now my
"butchered" neck can be tolerable without the hydrocodene. I still
have 1/2 the script , and can feel a slight psychological (need) for
another dose.

Why the heck after the last 50 years had they not made a painkiller with
neither physical or psychological addiction tendencies. I know they could ,
with just the neverending marketing monies spent wisely.

But no , they want some to succumb to addictions or rehab and make a
secondary revenue stream. CORRUPT!

BTW , still real hungry with the hydro , I cold distill it .... they add 325mg
of liver rotting acetaminophen to the pills - to make for another revenue
stream (organ damage) ... if you are part of the typical unknowing public.
Arggggg !

:2c:

OS
 
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