Funniest snake oil theories

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Loudspeaker Question

I'm guessing that this is a good place to ask this:

I just received a new pair of loudspeakers, and much to my chagrin, they appear to have forgotten to put the shipping braces on the drivers before shipping. So, for the entire trip, the woofer, mid and tweeter have been free to move under the influence of gravity, cornering forces, potholes and almost certainly induced EM energy into the voice coils (which weren't shorted for shipping either).

There's no manual, so I'm wondering what's the best way to realign the drivers to their original factory alignment. Any ideas? I'm guessing that applying a DC voltage to the individual drivers will condition them to return to their intended rest positions. For the dome midrange and tweeters, I'm thinking of modifying a vacuum cleaner to produce positive / negative pressure as needed. (I also have a marital aid that works much the same way).

Although I purchased the speakers, I'm going DIY for the speaker wire. I'm starting with a matched pair of kilogram silver ingots that I'm hammering down into long rectangular sheets. When they're done, I'll wrap the sheets in a spiral manner, causing the electrons to flow at a certain angle that I have determined is more musical sounding than straight conductors. (Sort of like Litz wire, but different.)

My hope is to make these monopolar connectors, to reduce the inherent distortion in bipolar conductors. KISS. (Since my speakers can't reproduce, DC, there's no need for the second conductor to "circulate" electrons.) I'm having impedance issues with my amplifier though. Any ideas?
 
Why are oily's drawn to this thread? Now you know who you are, so give us a new story to admire! (not you Frank, you apparently do not have room for big speakers, and therefore get the most out of what you have, that's commendable oil as opposed to snakey oil (-:
 
I agree with you for the most part. However if we can isolate the trolls and contain them here in the snake oil thread, they can amuse us without causing much damage. Maybe i'm being cruel to them but trolls can take a lot of beating as a form of entertainment 😀
 
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The Rocky Mountain Audio Fest runs October 11-13 so be prepared for gobs of material for this thread from Sterophile's "ace" snake oil reporter Jason Serinus 😉 Got way to much money and don't want to contribute to charity? No problem, plenty of silly products to waste it on instead!:Popworm:
 
Similar issues as your speakers 😀
My speakers are guaranteed to keep their impedance for up to a year (at which time I'll buy next year's model, of course) so no worries there. My amps are something I purchased from Harvey Rosenberg personally at his New York Audio Labs suite in the Blackstone hotel in Chicago when the CES was there, an OTL design. Unfortunately Harvey is dead, and trying to contact him through a medium has proved inconclusive. The Harvey Rosenberg that the medium is speaking with doesn't seem to know the first thing about electrical engineering!
 
Stand it on wooden blocks; the more expensive the better. This will cure any impedance problems. It will also reduce your need to find a high-interest savings account for your money, by partially transferring this problem to the wooden block vendor.
I hear that Norwegian wood is good, but I have my concerns about getting a uniform product. I've put so much effort into getting the interconnects just right (I paid 10 times the going rate just to get reagent grade silver) that I simply cannot settle for wood from trees that were grown in the wild. Unfortunately it seems that the Japanese audiophile market is buying up all the lab-grown wood as fast as it can be made!

After a great deal of research I've decided to go with pre-WWII Bakelite for a warm, tube sound. By sheer coincidence my local high-end boutique has a partner in the UK that is recovering vintage Bakelite from a landfill in Ipswich. Using a bunch of old pipe stems might look odd for those who aren't "in the know", but I have no doubt that my attention to detail will reap huge dividends in the sound that I hear!

FYI my savings account has "vanishingly low" interest rates. So low in fact that they'd make good THD+N figures!
 
On reflection, you are right SY but we can still have some fun with them till they go. The strange thing is, most of them never get it. Some even think WE are the trolls for challenging them and insisting that they provide some kind of evidence when they make extraordinary claims. I really loose patience with them if I find out that they are selling their voodoo to people. I got another leaflet from Russ Andrews today, that's two in three weeks! he is actually starting to make me angry now. I'm saving up a load of junk mail to send back to him.
 
My speakers are guaranteed to keep their impedance for up to a year (at which time I'll buy next year's model, of course) so no worries there. My amps are something I purchased from Harvey Rosenberg personally at his New York Audio Labs suite in the Blackstone hotel in Chicago when the CES was there, an OTL design. Unfortunately Harvey is dead, and trying to contact him through a medium has proved inconclusive. The Harvey Rosenberg that the medium is speaking with doesn't seem to know the first thing about electrical engineering!

Was that the guy who sold the Eiffel Tower to scrap merchants?

Or could it have been the same guy who was behind this.
Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit
 
Was that the guy who sold the Eiffel Tower to scrap merchants?

Or could it have been the same guy who was behind this.
Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit
LOL...note to self: rewrite the rev limiter program for the ECU in my new car to imitate "point bounce".

I don't know about the Eiffel tower, but according to a history show here in the US, the word "gadget" comes from a company that made miniature versions of the Statue of Liberty.
 
Why are oily's drawn to this thread? Now you know who you are, so give us a new story to admire! (not you Frank, you apparently do not have room for big speakers, and therefore get the most out of what you have, that's commendable oil as opposed to snakey oil (-:
Au contraire, Pete. Like most, I have dozens of speakers lying around, some even with, 😱, 12" drivers ...

As you can see, there is currently a strong buildup of anti-trolling trolling - from people who don't wish to discuss points - sneering is much easier ...

My focus is on understanding what factors contribute to subjectively satisfying sound, rather than playing "the bigger, the more technically ambitious, the better" games. Hence my exercise in trying to get the best out of a modest TV, Blu-ray combo, and similar - this is known as (gasp!!) investigation, but because an impressive, scientific paper with tabulated results is not forthcoming this of course is of little value ...
 
Wow!!

Davym, audio test equipment does a similar job as your Automotive engine analyzer, but a good 'feel' for auto engine performance can go quite far.
For example, in 1974, while living in Switzerland I bought an Opel GTE, which was a sports sedan with fuel injection. (my first, and the first from Opel, I think).
In any case, after a few thousand miles, the car did not run right. The local Swiss mechanics were not used to fuel injection, so they brought in a factory guy to access the problem. He took it out, ran it over 100mph, and returned it to the garage.
I mentioned to him that it appeared to be running 'lean' and that the spark appeared 'retarded'. Was he impressed! That's what you get from 'experience'. '-)

Thanx for that.. who'd of thought 😴:worship:

So next you'll explain... waayy baaack when... loonngg b4 anyone else coulda figured... you experienced.. personally... against all common knowledge... that tire morphology and structure actually have an influence on how a vehicle handles... no?
 
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