Asking strangers on the internet because my parents are useless...
It seems that I am only able to surround myself with men. Antisocial men. I have no clue where normal sociable young ladies congregate, and even less idea how to engage them in a more meaningful way than banter.
It seems like nobody I ask has any idea how they have actually met the people in their lives. They *shrug* and say "I don't know man..."
I get advice to "just be myself" and to "not worry about it so much". I'm sure that works great for people because they often spend time with a good mix of people which includes friendly single women. I don't.
Does anyone have any advice? I am pretty much starting from scratch. I know it will take some time, but I need to figure out how to start.
Thanks
It seems that I am only able to surround myself with men. Antisocial men. I have no clue where normal sociable young ladies congregate, and even less idea how to engage them in a more meaningful way than banter.
It seems like nobody I ask has any idea how they have actually met the people in their lives. They *shrug* and say "I don't know man..."
I get advice to "just be myself" and to "not worry about it so much". I'm sure that works great for people because they often spend time with a good mix of people which includes friendly single women. I don't.
Does anyone have any advice? I am pretty much starting from scratch. I know it will take some time, but I need to figure out how to start.
Thanks
Probably the best advise would be to buy a book off Amazon on how to meet and talk to women.
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrat...TF8&coliid=I257GXENFEY525&colid=29DDS9TDX8EAX
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrat...TF8&coliid=I257GXENFEY525&colid=29DDS9TDX8EAX
I've tried your suggestion leadbelly. My friends of past have been not very social and have either known no women, or the only woman they knew was their girlfriend. Either they really couldn't help, or they didn't care enough about me to help. I can't say.
But today I don't have any friends. Just moved back to my hometown from being in school for five years and in WI working. The last person I knew here now lives in Istanbul. Also, he didn't know anyone else either.
But today I don't have any friends. Just moved back to my hometown from being in school for five years and in WI working. The last person I knew here now lives in Istanbul. Also, he didn't know anyone else either.
sofaspud, Yeah, those are good ideas. I don't know of any places like those here in town. When I go try and find places like those it seems like everyone has come in small groups and sticks to those groups. Also the groups are generally something like three guys sitting with one woman, and the woman is holding the hand of one of the guys.
Places where single woman are known to congregate:
Local gyms, bars, clubs, pubs, church, roller and ice rinks, art galleries, museums, coffee shops, the AMC (Appalachian Mountain Club), seven minute dates, etc.
Craigslist and online dating services.. (I have friend who met her fiancee on Craigslist.)
No it is not easy, but if you are not playing the game... Be prepared to fail, and to keep trying.. Be willing to explore places where you haven't been before.
Best advice is to get out and have fun doing the things you like to do and where woman are also likely to be present. I met my wife at a roller rink of all places..
Women do like guys who are self assured, not desperate, and seem to know how to have good time. Just be yourself... Dress presentably..
Possibly find some more sociable friends..
Local gyms, bars, clubs, pubs, church, roller and ice rinks, art galleries, museums, coffee shops, the AMC (Appalachian Mountain Club), seven minute dates, etc.
Craigslist and online dating services.. (I have friend who met her fiancee on Craigslist.)
No it is not easy, but if you are not playing the game... Be prepared to fail, and to keep trying.. Be willing to explore places where you haven't been before.
Best advice is to get out and have fun doing the things you like to do and where woman are also likely to be present. I met my wife at a roller rink of all places..
Women do like guys who are self assured, not desperate, and seem to know how to have good time. Just be yourself... Dress presentably..
Possibly find some more sociable friends..
Anywhere except bars and family reunions!
I met my wife through her college roommate who was a co-worker of mine that had a huge crush on me at the time. Somehow I ended up with the right one and wasn't really even looking, go figure. The advice you got to "just be yourself" and to "not worry about it so much" is good advice. The immortal words of Forrest Gump, "Momma says life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get" ring true. Some day the right one will come along and you'll know it when she does.
Mike
I met my wife through her college roommate who was a co-worker of mine that had a huge crush on me at the time. Somehow I ended up with the right one and wasn't really even looking, go figure. The advice you got to "just be yourself" and to "not worry about it so much" is good advice. The immortal words of Forrest Gump, "Momma says life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get" ring true. Some day the right one will come along and you'll know it when she does.
Mike
ask them questions, then once they start bla bla bla listen and look at their eyes.
Currently I am 25 and am unemployed.
I was a member of several clubs, and took advantage of any social activity I could find for five years in college. Talking with people on the bus, sitting with women sitting by themselves between classes at the coffee shop, talking with my classmates.
I can have good conversations with women, but they NEVER turn intimate. We talk for an hour about what they do for a living, what they are studying, the last trip they took, etc. But it somehow never gets to the point where I feel like she "likes" me.
Maybe I don't make enough eye contact. That is really good advice. I feel like I make a normal amount. I'm definitely not antisocial.
I feel like women get a; "he's a cool guy, but not into me" vibe. Almost like she would treat one of her professors. (but not in THAT way) Like I'm not even an option.
I was a member of several clubs, and took advantage of any social activity I could find for five years in college. Talking with people on the bus, sitting with women sitting by themselves between classes at the coffee shop, talking with my classmates.
I can have good conversations with women, but they NEVER turn intimate. We talk for an hour about what they do for a living, what they are studying, the last trip they took, etc. But it somehow never gets to the point where I feel like she "likes" me.
Maybe I don't make enough eye contact. That is really good advice. I feel like I make a normal amount. I'm definitely not antisocial.
I feel like women get a; "he's a cool guy, but not into me" vibe. Almost like she would treat one of her professors. (but not in THAT way) Like I'm not even an option.
Online dating is AWFUL. A MISERABLE EXPERIENCE. Sending thirty honest messages and getting one or two replies. One word answers, and then them not ever wanting to meet in person. I can't do that again.
I have no "game". I would play if I knew how, but I don't. And at 25 I'm not sure how to learn. I am less mature than a 12 year old boy, when it comes to the social game.
I have no "game". I would play if I knew how, but I don't. And at 25 I'm not sure how to learn. I am less mature than a 12 year old boy, when it comes to the social game.
I had many of the same problems.. Showing a lot of interest in someone and then asking for their phone number at some point is the first step. The worst that will happen is they will say no. If they don't follow up quickly, first dates are tricky - something that makes neither of you the focus is a good idea. A movie and dinner date.. Find out what interests the girl most and try to do something she will like..
And keep trying! My first solid relationship started after my 27th birthday so you are not alone! (I'm a whole lot older now..)
And keep trying! My first solid relationship started after my 27th birthday so you are not alone! (I'm a whole lot older now..)
Kevin, thanks for the kind words. And thanks to everyone else too.
I can get phone numbers but I can't call them; they want a text. and I don't text message. I want to have coffee, and they want to add me on thefacebook.
It's hard for me to get out and about because for one, I have no friend to go out with, and for two, seeing other people holding hands and kissing just kills me.
I don't want to make friends with a man because in my past experience, that man has been a loner, or has had only a few other male friends.
At my age everyone I meet seems so content with their friend group. They've got a partner, and a couple other friends who also have partners, and they are set.
It's just so confusing and frustrating! :/
I can get phone numbers but I can't call them; they want a text. and I don't text message. I want to have coffee, and they want to add me on thefacebook.
It's hard for me to get out and about because for one, I have no friend to go out with, and for two, seeing other people holding hands and kissing just kills me.
I don't want to make friends with a man because in my past experience, that man has been a loner, or has had only a few other male friends.
At my age everyone I meet seems so content with their friend group. They've got a partner, and a couple other friends who also have partners, and they are set.
It's just so confusing and frustrating! :/
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