Beware of house sitters who break in to an empty property and claim residence.
Or those who just like to destroy property. Renting it out would be safer.
Where I am there's little chance of that and I would personally evict them myself if that were to happen, but it won't. I could still make it seem like I'm living at my property with light timers and such plus visiting it every few days. I'm in the country but just a 28km or 17 and a bit miles to work. So for instance if I clock out at 4:30pm I'm home by 4:50-55pm depending etc. It's not heavy traffic my way plus this isn't Vancouver or NY by any means as far as traffic goes ..
In the USA an empty building would probably be a crack house within a couple of weeks.
Same here in Canada depending where you are located. We're the same in many ways as the US as far as big city's or questionable areas are concerned. The drug epidemic is all over Canada as well from Coast to Coast. Thankfully where I am it's not a concrete jungle, but at the same time if I could live and disappear into the crowds of NYC that could be cool for a big change for a while.
Edit: On the West Coast when I left it was really pure Heroin and Cocaine that made the city a total change from decade to decade. Not the same as the early 90's when it all first started with the Crack people etc. Now I imagine it's Meth along with Heroin that devastates my old hometown and many others. When I left in 2009 there were 1500 homeless addicts living in parks and on the streets etc. The East Coast was different in that when I got here it was more a pill epidemic compared to back home. Now Meth has arrived here the last few years. Thankfully I'm nowhere's near any of that plus this city is a joke compared to where I left. In the downtown core here you might see a handful of sketchy people, back home you pretty much don't want to be walking by yourself downtown after dark in many areas .
Edit: On the West Coast when I left it was really pure Heroin and Cocaine that made the city a total change from decade to decade. Not the same as the early 90's when it all first started with the Crack people etc. Now I imagine it's Meth along with Heroin that devastates my old hometown and many others. When I left in 2009 there were 1500 homeless addicts living in parks and on the streets etc. The East Coast was different in that when I got here it was more a pill epidemic compared to back home. Now Meth has arrived here the last few years. Thankfully I'm nowhere's near any of that plus this city is a joke compared to where I left. In the downtown core here you might see a handful of sketchy people, back home you pretty much don't want to be walking by yourself downtown after dark in many areas .
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Indeed!
The vacant home across the street from me had a crackhead in it.
I heard through the local community blog about it.
Seems he ripped out the copper plumbing to support his habit.
It got repaired once they tossed him out.
Then.... a while later, some scummy woman decided that her job at low-income housing authority gave her priority to move in and squat in the home.
Black trash bags over the windows to hide her use of electricity, but we all knew she was destined to continue her creepy way of life.
We mostly were concerned about the thugs that came to visit her - we have children playing on the street.
I contacted our state representitive, the bank who owns the property, and local authorities.
Took 8 months to get her azz out, but good riddence to that " self entitled trash".
The nerve of her, while I have to pay property taxes, who is she to get a roof over her head for free!
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I would urge anyone and everyone to get a prenup, and that's the end of the trouble and stress.
Times have changed, dependence is unnecessary.
Hi Dave,
From what I briefly picked up:
Why you split up only you really know. Even the most necessary splits should leave you with some good memories as well. But, the split had to happen even if you sometimes long back afterwards. Fighting to avoid a split just makes the split worse later on. That's a part of life.
Working hard and long hours may be a way to live if you really like the work. Just for the money will one day be insufficient. Money are a strange concept - if you do not have them they are very important, if you have sufficient and a little more, money don't solve much problems. Even very rich people can be very frustrated from boredom. If you are just pleased having a job, do the job well and some extra hours to please your boss but do not see it as your main purpose in life. The feeling of having worked well is always an advantage later on. The problem in life is finding something that has real importance for you, something that gives your life a meaning. Hardly anything you can buy will be of importance for long.
My life was a good salary in an interesting work with in particular very intelligent and skilled colleagues. That took care of my intellectual needs. Long working days and in particular long hours of transport. My wife found my hours away every day long as we have no kids, so we needed to do something together in the weekends. My wife's main interest is animals (excluding spiders!).
My wife had heard that the nearby animal shelter was looking for volunteers to help. So, every Sunday morning we went there and took the many dogs for a walk. The dogs were so happy to get some attention, which was what they longed for the most but rarely got. I learned to handle even very large dogs and understand when they would like me to approach and when to stay at a distance. For me that work we did there served a real purpose. But, very important was to observe the old farmer lady, her daughter and some of the girls working there. They had ordinary jobs but their work with the animals gave them a real meaning with life. A meaning with life that will make their memories happy. When I decided to retire, I left the shelter work and moved to the mountains but I still send them money occasionally. That work left me some happy memories because it meant something to someone I admire.
You seem to need to find a new meaning with life. With a stable and decent economy, we can afford to take part in unpaid activities. Paid activities can be difficult to find and are somewhat unnecessary if you have what you need. Unpaid activities are plenty and you can choose an area of activity you like. Whether you prefer activities involving other people or animals is your choice but living includes some interaction with others. Interaction with other gives us inspiration, sometimes even friends and leaves us with good memories. By helping with something you will also learn new skills which again is stimulating. You can also see it this way, you have nothing to loose. We have to fill our lives with something.
Good luck!
From what I briefly picked up:
Why you split up only you really know. Even the most necessary splits should leave you with some good memories as well. But, the split had to happen even if you sometimes long back afterwards. Fighting to avoid a split just makes the split worse later on. That's a part of life.
Working hard and long hours may be a way to live if you really like the work. Just for the money will one day be insufficient. Money are a strange concept - if you do not have them they are very important, if you have sufficient and a little more, money don't solve much problems. Even very rich people can be very frustrated from boredom. If you are just pleased having a job, do the job well and some extra hours to please your boss but do not see it as your main purpose in life. The feeling of having worked well is always an advantage later on. The problem in life is finding something that has real importance for you, something that gives your life a meaning. Hardly anything you can buy will be of importance for long.
My life was a good salary in an interesting work with in particular very intelligent and skilled colleagues. That took care of my intellectual needs. Long working days and in particular long hours of transport. My wife found my hours away every day long as we have no kids, so we needed to do something together in the weekends. My wife's main interest is animals (excluding spiders!).
My wife had heard that the nearby animal shelter was looking for volunteers to help. So, every Sunday morning we went there and took the many dogs for a walk. The dogs were so happy to get some attention, which was what they longed for the most but rarely got. I learned to handle even very large dogs and understand when they would like me to approach and when to stay at a distance. For me that work we did there served a real purpose. But, very important was to observe the old farmer lady, her daughter and some of the girls working there. They had ordinary jobs but their work with the animals gave them a real meaning with life. A meaning with life that will make their memories happy. When I decided to retire, I left the shelter work and moved to the mountains but I still send them money occasionally. That work left me some happy memories because it meant something to someone I admire.
You seem to need to find a new meaning with life. With a stable and decent economy, we can afford to take part in unpaid activities. Paid activities can be difficult to find and are somewhat unnecessary if you have what you need. Unpaid activities are plenty and you can choose an area of activity you like. Whether you prefer activities involving other people or animals is your choice but living includes some interaction with others. Interaction with other gives us inspiration, sometimes even friends and leaves us with good memories. By helping with something you will also learn new skills which again is stimulating. You can also see it this way, you have nothing to loose. We have to fill our lives with something.
Good luck!
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Even in my middle class neighborhood, that's true. Well, the reality is more like 14 year old kids drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.
During the real estate frenzy, developers were buying perfectly fine houses and tearing them down to build ugly and out of place McMansions. They'd buy three houses, tear them down, and build two McMansions. They did this on my block
and for the first 7-8 years the houses were either occupied by fly by night types, or else they were mostly vacant. After being vacant for several years, funny stuff started happening. Neighborhood kids were getting drunk in there and who knows what else.Vacant property is bad news in a suburban environment. It's an attractive nuisance. In my old neighborhood in Chicago, a vacant apartment or condo would be an instant crack house or whorehouse, guaranteed. It wouldn't take three days of vacancy before it happened.
It's appealing for several reason but beware: you're really never away from work. That may be counter-productive for where you want to go.
Jan
If you have the skills maybe something totally outside your comfort zone
Home - Mercy Ships Australia
they need just about all types of skilled people.
Arthur.
Home - Mercy Ships Australia
they need just about all types of skilled people.
Arthur.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond. I think I was at a low point when I made the thread but needed to let some things out I guess. For now I'm just going to keep on going with the routine I have in place, which is work and come home and my chores that we all have.
A group could be cool but I don't really have the time, and after work I'm more in a quiet introvert mode anyhow.
The trailer idea is just an idea etc I could do the same on the property where I live. In many ways I want to move, but I don't want the debt that goes with it. I'd really love to build a small house and I have a few designs from 400-600sq ft, and a few even smaller that I've worked out.
For now I'm just going to do my best to forget the past and think of better things that may be coming in the future.
A group could be cool but I don't really have the time, and after work I'm more in a quiet introvert mode anyhow.
The trailer idea is just an idea etc I could do the same on the property where I live. In many ways I want to move, but I don't want the debt that goes with it. I'd really love to build a small house and I have a few designs from 400-600sq ft, and a few even smaller that I've worked out.
For now I'm just going to do my best to forget the past and think of better things that may be coming in the future.
Member
Joined 2009
Paid Member
Dave, it will be up and down. enjoy the times that you feel strong and avoid over-committing to something just because you are feeling good. When you are feeling less strong be kind to yourself, reach out if you need, don't make any big decisions and just focus on living the day. It will improve over time.
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I know it really stings Dave, but moving on is a part of life. It's important to live life to the fullest because it doesn't lat forever.
As you get older, moving on happens more and not less. I'm at that age now where my friends and peers have been dying. I still have two lifelong friends, both are sick, and when they die I will have to move on. That assumes that I don't die first.
There's always people to make friends with. Other people need friends too and that's you. You have to be that way to survive. You have to recognize the value you have to offer and then offer it. They can take the friendship away, but they can't take away the value you have to offer.
As you get older, moving on happens more and not less. I'm at that age now where my friends and peers have been dying. I still have two lifelong friends, both are sick, and when they die I will have to move on. That assumes that I don't die first.
There's always people to make friends with. Other people need friends too and that's you. You have to be that way to survive. You have to recognize the value you have to offer and then offer it. They can take the friendship away, but they can't take away the value you have to offer.
This summer I decided to buy a couple kayaks (one for a friend if they wanted to join) and can say that it is now probably my most enjoyed times. They are literally like 40lbs a piece and can be carried easily. here in colorado, I can toss it on about every other body of water i come across legally and without any registration. It's going to force me to learn to fish because it just makes sense. The things have two fishing pole holds each. Very easy to turn and paddle anywhere, I average about 3mph and it carries everything while I sit on my azz. There are a ton of islands on some of the reservoirs where I can have it to myself because nobody without a boat can get there. Hammock time! This next week, I am meeting a friend from Utah (about midway) at Green River and were gonna do half of it into the canyons, then next year, probably go through the Confluence and down to Powell. If you can look at Google maps and or the images through those canyons, there's nobody there.
In other words, I highly recommend kayaking calm waters. I spent $800 for everything on 2
S
In other words, I highly recommend kayaking calm waters. I spent $800 for everything on 2
S
Need company?
Go food shopping and look dumb. Pick up a piece of fruit and ask the lady next to you "Is this ripe yet? I'm not so good at this sort of thing"
Go clothes shopping, try something on. Ask a lady, any lady, for an impartial opinion. Tell her you're new at this.
Go to the laundromat. Ask the lady next to you how important is it to separate whites and colours? You're haven't done much of this.
Go to the hardware store. Find a woman who looks confused. Smile and ask if there's anything you can help her with.
Borrow a small dog. Take it for a walk in the park and look genuinely happy you are out walking. Never force the dog, look gentle and kind.
Take a cooking class.
It's not hard to meet people especially women. They are often self conscious and afraid to say hello first as it's not 'ladylike.' Make her feel comfortable in your presence. Look her in the eyes but don't gawk. Think of casual things to say, nothing heavy. And for gawd's sake don't say anything negative. She already has her own problems and doesn't need to hear yours.
Being introverted is not a bad thing. It sometimes disarms and allows them to be themselves and not feel nervous talking with you.
Go food shopping and look dumb. Pick up a piece of fruit and ask the lady next to you "Is this ripe yet? I'm not so good at this sort of thing"
Go clothes shopping, try something on. Ask a lady, any lady, for an impartial opinion. Tell her you're new at this.
Go to the laundromat. Ask the lady next to you how important is it to separate whites and colours? You're haven't done much of this.
Go to the hardware store. Find a woman who looks confused. Smile and ask if there's anything you can help her with.
Borrow a small dog. Take it for a walk in the park and look genuinely happy you are out walking. Never force the dog, look gentle and kind.
Take a cooking class.
It's not hard to meet people especially women. They are often self conscious and afraid to say hello first as it's not 'ladylike.' Make her feel comfortable in your presence. Look her in the eyes but don't gawk. Think of casual things to say, nothing heavy. And for gawd's sake don't say anything negative. She already has her own problems and doesn't need to hear yours.
Being introverted is not a bad thing. It sometimes disarms and allows them to be themselves and not feel nervous talking with you.
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