...with coconut oil, and the strongest intoxicant you might dare to imbibe.
The recipe is obviously going to be different for everyone, but me it was mushrooms, and quite frankly, knowing my Peter Pan capabilities, I'll probably find something even stronger before the rock I've been kicking down the dirt track finally gets wedged between something unkickable.
I wouldn't get too hung up on the intoxicant as it's entirely optional, but I'm just throwing it in there as I'd like to be accurate. A hardly ever drink alcohol any more unless it's home-made wine without sugar or other additives. I have a very simple recipe for white wine (for beginner's luck)
1) pretty much leave the vines alone. I agonised over the red grapes, which they repaid in kind, so the white grapes were kind-of forgotten about until I saw how they were going a nice gold and clear colour. So I put them in a bucket and mashed them with my bare hands. Not counting seeds or anything like that, just making sure the grapes were properly popped to let the juices out.
2) Commit to drinking the mess you just made. Eventually. For me, I didn't let anyone talk me into adding sugar or any other horrible additives. When there's family around, pro tip: never show uncertainty about what you're doing unless you want your wine to taste like it's been designed by a committee.
So, about the hearing thing, what I did was:
1) Sit in the sun all day, preferably topless, even if you can see the ice crystals growing in real-time on the tips of your nipples from the wind chill. Do not skip this step. Something to do with getting a big dose of natural vitamin D to de-calcify the tissues that are supposed to be soft and supple, and re-calcify the bones.
2) Start meditating at a slowish pace, and build up into the evening to get into a relaxed state of mind. For me, alcohol seemed like a bad idea. I got a 0.5% free IPA, but hardly touched it because it was too fizzy after all that sin, I mean sun. Beautiful Freudian slip.
3) Take care of your sun-burnt face by splashing small amounts of cold water onto it, and let it evolve into an intensifying massage of the entire scalp, and add minimal amounts of coconut oil onto your palms. I don't know exactly what the sunlight or its natural vitamin D does, but starting with loosening up all the tight cartilage in my nose, building up to a very strong massage where both my palms were mashing my face with all the force I could muster, like I would imagine in a game of rugby or something like that. I was able to work my way round to my ears — I won't mince words, I was terrified that I might pop my ear drums, or somehow injure them. But far from breaking anything, I was astonished how soft the ear cartilage could be. It was like that spoon bending exercise in the matrix. I figured that if my ears had survived going through a birth canal once, they could probably do it again! Or something like that.
In all seriousness, it seems like classical case of taking matters into your own hands. Really mincing the heck out the cartilage, almost daring it to break at first, but building up slowly, and then watch the capabilities of your own body in amazement. As the nervous tension drops away, I came to imagine that my own neurons had been keeping my ears cramped in a very stale position for years, and my hands closed the feedback loop, allowing me find and soften those tense areas.
The recipe is obviously going to be different for everyone, but me it was mushrooms, and quite frankly, knowing my Peter Pan capabilities, I'll probably find something even stronger before the rock I've been kicking down the dirt track finally gets wedged between something unkickable.
I wouldn't get too hung up on the intoxicant as it's entirely optional, but I'm just throwing it in there as I'd like to be accurate. A hardly ever drink alcohol any more unless it's home-made wine without sugar or other additives. I have a very simple recipe for white wine (for beginner's luck)
1) pretty much leave the vines alone. I agonised over the red grapes, which they repaid in kind, so the white grapes were kind-of forgotten about until I saw how they were going a nice gold and clear colour. So I put them in a bucket and mashed them with my bare hands. Not counting seeds or anything like that, just making sure the grapes were properly popped to let the juices out.
2) Commit to drinking the mess you just made. Eventually. For me, I didn't let anyone talk me into adding sugar or any other horrible additives. When there's family around, pro tip: never show uncertainty about what you're doing unless you want your wine to taste like it's been designed by a committee.
So, about the hearing thing, what I did was:
1) Sit in the sun all day, preferably topless, even if you can see the ice crystals growing in real-time on the tips of your nipples from the wind chill. Do not skip this step. Something to do with getting a big dose of natural vitamin D to de-calcify the tissues that are supposed to be soft and supple, and re-calcify the bones.
2) Start meditating at a slowish pace, and build up into the evening to get into a relaxed state of mind. For me, alcohol seemed like a bad idea. I got a 0.5% free IPA, but hardly touched it because it was too fizzy after all that sin, I mean sun. Beautiful Freudian slip.
3) Take care of your sun-burnt face by splashing small amounts of cold water onto it, and let it evolve into an intensifying massage of the entire scalp, and add minimal amounts of coconut oil onto your palms. I don't know exactly what the sunlight or its natural vitamin D does, but starting with loosening up all the tight cartilage in my nose, building up to a very strong massage where both my palms were mashing my face with all the force I could muster, like I would imagine in a game of rugby or something like that. I was able to work my way round to my ears — I won't mince words, I was terrified that I might pop my ear drums, or somehow injure them. But far from breaking anything, I was astonished how soft the ear cartilage could be. It was like that spoon bending exercise in the matrix. I figured that if my ears had survived going through a birth canal once, they could probably do it again! Or something like that.
In all seriousness, it seems like classical case of taking matters into your own hands. Really mincing the heck out the cartilage, almost daring it to break at first, but building up slowly, and then watch the capabilities of your own body in amazement. As the nervous tension drops away, I came to imagine that my own neurons had been keeping my ears cramped in a very stale position for years, and my hands closed the feedback loop, allowing me find and soften those tense areas.
Be careful about sunburn, and take Vitamin D3 to help your body make Vitamin D.
If you cannot sit outside, sit in front of a 60 to 200W filament lamp, its spectrum has the UV you need to make Vitamin D.
Do not use UV lamps, unless they are safe tanning lamps.
Some quartz lamps may work, better availability.
Or rig a car halogen lamp, with a suitable supply.
This is best for snowbound areas.
Hearing loss is natural with age, consult a doctor if needed.
Check blood sugar levels regularly as well.
And of course do not listen to or go near equipment with continuous high noise levels.
There are some people advising the practices of hand and foot massage as well, look those up, might be useful.
If you cannot sit outside, sit in front of a 60 to 200W filament lamp, its spectrum has the UV you need to make Vitamin D.
Do not use UV lamps, unless they are safe tanning lamps.
Some quartz lamps may work, better availability.
Or rig a car halogen lamp, with a suitable supply.
This is best for snowbound areas.
Hearing loss is natural with age, consult a doctor if needed.
Check blood sugar levels regularly as well.
And of course do not listen to or go near equipment with continuous high noise levels.
There are some people advising the practices of hand and foot massage as well, look those up, might be useful.
Okay, just to get things into perspective about the topless nipples, I have to ask, are you man or woman?
