Joke #1
I'm really good at corny dad jokes, does that make me a father? some kid I don't know about?
Joke #2
I just got like 7x parcels from the postman.
I guess the poor guy was constipated.
Joke #3
Hello, Police?
I'd like to file a restraining order against my husband?
I'd like to keep him close to my heart forever and ever.
Keep it PG-13!
I'm really good at corny dad jokes, does that make me a father? some kid I don't know about?
Joke #2
I just got like 7x parcels from the postman.
I guess the poor guy was constipated.
Joke #3
Hello, Police?
I'd like to file a restraining order against my husband?
I'd like to keep him close to my heart forever and ever.
Keep it PG-13!
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Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick
Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
A: Dr.Dre
Q: Where can you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left it
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef
A: A stick
Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
A: Dr.Dre
Q: Where can you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left it
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef
Q: What's brown and sticky and runs around a field?
A: A fence.
- So two dyslexic guys walk into a bra...
Chris
A: A fence.
- So two dyslexic guys walk into a bra...
Chris
Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.
Q: What is a dossier?
A: A posh tramp
PS: I dont have off-spring but my god-daughter sees me as her father.
A: A walk.
Q: What is a dossier?
A: A posh tramp
PS: I dont have off-spring but my god-daughter sees me as her father.
What's black and white and has 10,000 chins?
The Shanghai phone book
What's 50 feet long and smells like pee?
Seniors line dance
The Shanghai phone book
What's 50 feet long and smells like pee?
Seniors line dance
In a similar vein:
What is the (fill in a lousy hockey team's name) favourite vegetable?
Shiitake.
What is the (fill in a lousy hockey team's name) favourite vegetable?
Shiitake.
How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Pinch its nose
Why do pigeons fly upside down over Toronto?
It's not worth pooping on
How many Queens students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but if they do it right they get 6 credits
Pinch its nose
Why do pigeons fly upside down over Toronto?
It's not worth pooping on
How many Queens students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but if they do it right they get 6 credits
Q:Whats the fastest fresh water fish?
A: A Motor-Pike.
Q: What do you call a deaf dog?
A: Anything you want.
A: A Motor-Pike.
Q: What do you call a deaf dog?
A: Anything you want.
What do you call a quadriplegic on the porch? - Matt
What do you call a quadriplegic in the pool? - Bob
Anybody want to hear some Father O'Malley jokes? They're dirty and potentially offensive*. DISCLAIMER I grew up Catholic, so it's OK for me to tell these jokes. 🙄
*to Catholics and gays. I mean no harm to either demographic.
What do you call a quadriplegic in the pool? - Bob
Anybody want to hear some Father O'Malley jokes? They're dirty and potentially offensive*. DISCLAIMER I grew up Catholic, so it's OK for me to tell these jokes. 🙄
*to Catholics and gays. I mean no harm to either demographic.
Just post them on pastebin.com and link to them here with a tag of "NSFW". NSFW = Not Safe for Wife.
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Not really a dad joke but more of a son joke.
I used to say this to my dad all the time:
"Rodger Dodger Old Codger".
Roger Dodger (phrase - Wikipedia)
I used to say this to my dad all the time:
"Rodger Dodger Old Codger".
Roger Dodger (phrase - Wikipedia)
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