Funniest snake oil theories

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If you want to descend into true backwoods American colloquialisms, you could put it:

"M'r two kinda people: M at believe er'r two kinds n'm at know better"

Also heard," if'n you ain't wif me , yer agin me"
"Thet dog dunt hunt"
From a new super boss of a multimillion dollar project brought in to hear possible solutions to ongoing scheduling conflicts between pipe fitters, carpenters, welders, and electricians.
The South Carolina gentleman asked me to leave the meeting when I wouldn't say what I thought was so funny on his first ten minutes on the job.
 
Hear say

Ha..ha..

Sorry, I grew up in Cayce SC. Just outside of Columbia.

It's really all about perspective I guess. On a rugby tour in England, our squad were being called colonials prior to the matches being played. We were all called Canadians afterwards.
But the biggest surprise to me was that no one sounded like they were speaking BBC world news english. And we could barely understand the 2 scots teams
we played.
They all had the same issue with our accents and colloquialisms.
Smoke a fag definitely means different things on different sides of the ocean.
And the gent from South Carolina thought we spoke wrong too.
And I still find humour everywhere I look , but intend no offense.
But when I say the prefabbed handrails are 6" too short to meet work safe requirements, and I won't install them without modifications, as a South Carolina resident, what did his reply mean when he said the dog doesn't hunt?
No one ever told me.
 
Glad to see your a zealot as well.

Au contraire, I'm actually quite fond of Italy and Italians. Dinner tonight with some friends will be insalata misto, carciofi fritti con limone, and risotto ai funghi. A moscato from Alto Adige and a nice Barbaresco from the Produttori will be on the table.

"Apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
 
Hercules was Gilgamesh

"Apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

Actually most of those things were done in Sumer thousands of years prior to Rome's founding. History Begins at Sumer by Samuel Noah Kramer is a pretty good read . Guess they traded with the Assyrians, who traded with the Phoenicians , who traded with the Greeks, who traded with the Etruscans , who were over run and absorbed by the Romans .
So the Romans gave us concrete , a brilliant cuisine, and a tradition of fine women.
 
Au contraire, I'm actually quite fond of Italy and Italians. Dinner tonight with some friends will be insalata misto, carciofi fritti con limone, and risotto ai funghi. A moscato from Alto Adige and a nice Barbaresco from the Produttori will be on the table.

"Apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

Since you are bringing the Romans into this you'd have to slather everything liberally in Garum (roman fish sauce).
Here is a recipe:Recipe for Garum or liquamen, the Roman fish sauce
 
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