Humour: The battle begins

Neh. What you got there is comparable to Ocean State Job Lots. Mardens is a rung down. It really is the last resort for merch that won't sell. (A few things are new and inventoried in depth all the time. Tarps. Incredible selection of nuts bolts and chain.)
 
And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the ultimate of speaker cables. You will be astounded by the clarity, the depth, the definition, the 3D detail and accuracy of sound from your speakers. The copper has been selected from premium copper from the best copper mines in the world. This copper has the right balance of copper isotopes which, while being stable, helps other normal copper atoms to free the passage of an electronic current from interferences of electric fields, magnetic fields and gravitational fields.

We have rigorously tested the copper for conductivity to guarantee users that, this premium copper, conducts electronic currents equally in all directions [to be precise, there is some non-uniformity, but this is only as small as 10^-34]. We have also cyogenically treated the copper as near absolute zero as 0.00000000001K. The performance must be outstanding that you will be convinced the price is nothing compared to what you get.
 
But you can't eat cables. Can you?
Monsieur Mangetout can.


I find them not as tastefull as worms, but they last a loooooooooooot longer and are therefore far better value. Don't have to worry 'bout my waistline either.

Nor worm conduct electrons efficiently. Do them?

No, not so much...although they work beautifully in vacuum - no audible difference to Audioquest Everest whatsoever!

But there's actually a place in every HiFi system for them; under the equipment feet as insulation against, well, everything. They colour the sound in a way never heard since or before ( just make sure to choose the colour you like) - it's sweeter, softer in presence, fruitier on highs, exact in lenght...but...the best thing is: forget about best possible speakers, acoustical room treatment, listening position and the like - the sound is so elastical, it adapts to any condition.

Some tipps:
  • if you like your music to be more vibrant, just knot them together and suspend all cables by them
  • if you want to ad some GRRRR, use Gummi Bears under the feet
  • if you're into hip-hop, Gummi Frogs should be your choice.
 
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Supper Sucker Dummies, off course.

Super Sucker Dummies.jpg
 
The only Maynards I know
Our Maynards is a local high end auction house. About 40 years ago, my lady and I scraped together $2000 to bid on a rather ornate rolltop desk. We left rather quickly. The opening bid was $3000. It sold for over 12k. Hey, we were young.
 

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And for our second contest of the night we have a three way.

On the top we have 120 grams (4 pieces) of the delicious sugar and fat laden Christmas treat known as Snowballs.
On the left we have a 2 meter, 3 connector RCA coaxial video cable.
On the right we have a 2 meter, single RCA coaxial audio cable.

The snowballs come in at $0.25 per box
The video cable comes in at $2.97 for two pairs
The audio cable comes in at $1.97 for two singles.

The winner is the video cable, followed closely by the single RCA and bringing up the rear we have the snowballs as they have no redeeming vices. My wife rated these items in a different order than me.

The reason I bought the single RCAs is that the store is now devoid of all the cables I have shown in this thread. All that remains is the cablevision 75Ω screw type coax, in 2, 4, and 6m lengths.

The rest is mine...all mine!
 

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