Here's a post from the internet spoofing the whole chicken little discussion currently in the news...
No need to worry about Climate Change anymore; there is something far worse on the horizon:
Top scientists agree, “With the present rate of consumption, the earth’s supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century,” say several prominent physicists. “There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth’s gravity supply. We’re already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we’re not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue.”
It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.
Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.
We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:
(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.
(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.
(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
(5) Don’t hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.
(6) Stop flipping pancakes.
This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.
Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.
No need to worry about Climate Change anymore; there is something far worse on the horizon:
Top scientists agree, “With the present rate of consumption, the earth’s supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century,” say several prominent physicists. “There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth’s gravity supply. We’re already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we’re not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue.”
It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.
Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.
We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:
(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.
(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.
(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
(5) Don’t hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.
(6) Stop flipping pancakes.
This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.
Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.
Not just gravity. Because of careless and misguided use of punctuation marks, it is reported the world is running dangerously low on question marks. I wonder if this is true???????
Well, if this is true - you just wasted a few question marks. Sis Cal.
NASA should be very happy with vanishing gravity!
In the UK we have a problem with greengrocer's using up all the apostrophes - oops, I did it myself.
Up there with the world class stupefying mental gymnastics performed by prominent leaders of the recently resurgent Flat Earthers, and surgically dismembered by folks like SciMan Dan.
It's a huge achievement for a Quarterback true but a 94 yard punt (very plausible) is nothing compared with a 94 field goal (near impossible).
EDIT: There have been two 108 yard punts in the CFL (longer, wider field)
EDIT: There have been two 108 yard punts in the CFL (longer, wider field)
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Watching a CFL game this past weekend, there were some missed converts, so yeah, anything over 50 yards (field goal) is impressive.
jeff
I think we need a new thread. We have polluted this one thanks to yours truly, pie man, disco dude, and crispy.
Now, if I wanna give my 2¢, I am wondering which one of us missed the humour/irony from post 2 and/or 3? WTH does Sis Cal mean?
Now, if I wanna give my 2¢, I am wondering which one of us missed the humour/irony from post 2 and/or 3? WTH does Sis Cal mean?
I am glad to see that mister auplater has gained his health again. I remember a thread some years ago.
I have recently become addicted to YouTube videos of among other things the bunking and debunking of Flat Earth and general conspiracy theories - you know, space isn’t real, we never want to the moon, etc.
For me, some of the most humorous tenets of the Flat Earth dogma are that gravity doesn’t exit (it’s all about density), and Antarctica is actually an impenetrable ice wall at the flat disc’s perimeter (and it’s turtles all the way down).
Great entertainment value to be had by watching channels by folks like SciMan Dan and Conspiracy Catz answer those “ I don’t understand it- it just doesn’t make sense - how could this work” questions. Probably the greatest irony to be found is the Flerfers’ frequent use of Google Earth photos to bolster their arguments.
Outside of what we sometime see here, the Dunning Kruger effect couldn’t be more exquisitely demonstrated.
A flat earth is probably the ugliest possible solution and a sign of an idea invented by a creature, not the Creator. On the other hand a globe on which could any lifeform move without falling off of it as if there was a force holding it to the surface, would be a sign of a great intelligence.
Around. Around the globe.
Missed opportunity. 🙁
Wrt "Turtles all the way down", the author of a book by the same title has an excellent podcast called "Anthropocene reviewed". Gets my vote
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