Engrish

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Wavebourn

Wavebourn

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Joined 2006
wavebourn.com
#1
In a Tokyo hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.


In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is a big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex

in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today: no ice cream

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialists in women and other diseases.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want to just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When a passenger of food heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking

Here speeching America

From a sign in a commercial parking lot, downtown San Francisco:

All day $7.00. Free In-and-Out.

A turf sign in Singapore:

Expectoration upon grass and refuse upon grass and amble upon grass and glee upon notice may procure unfortunate backlash. Upon authority.

In a Finnish hotel room:

In case of fire, please stuff a towel under the door, and expose yourself at the window.
Click to expand...
 
#4
PMA said:
Anatoliy,

you have decently avoided jokes on your national towns. They would probably outperform any of those you have posted 🙂
Click to expand...

Yep, some may. For example, the sign reads, "Afghan Maple"


afganklen2.jpg
 
Last edited:
#16
Not really Engrish, but lost in translation introductions.....

I spent some time recently in ZhuHai China and had two memorable introductions with some of the local women.

One went: "Hi my name is Steve". "I Wu Min." "Uhhhhh.....yes you are and you're quite pretty, too. My NAME is STEVE." "I WU MIN!"

The other: "Hi my name is Steve." "I Swallow."

BTW, she wasn't selling anything.

😎
 
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