Why am I picking up so much noise on my scope?

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Some new measurements

Everything 5 meters away from the scope was unpugged, but the results didn't change

Noise floor (scope set to GND)
 

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This is a pretty funny thread. I would concentrate on understanding why the scope is picking up this noise instead of trying to fix it. You might, in the process, learn a lot about why your audio circuits pick up noise.

The bottom line with 10x passive probes is they will pick up a ton of noise. You are basically running an antenna out of a sensitive amplifier into a hostile EM environment. The trace looks fine with the input grounded, which is as it should be. You also say the trace looks fine with an attenuating passive coax probe. That makes sense. 10x passive probes are just noisy as heck.
 
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