Funniest snake oil theories

[SY]

I'm not sure that this translated like they think it does...600W type R bovine pure linear computer power / have a fever PC power supply

Dan.

Holy **** that's funny!

 

[Max Headroom]

Don't worry Max, tattoo is an ascetic monk.

A boss once said to me...''We're drug testing tomorrow''.
I replied...''Cool, you supply the drugs and I'll test them for you''.
He never bothered me again.

Dan.

 

[DrDyna]

"Power: 400W/R type cattle"

Pure gold. The shame is, it looks like a fairly decent quality piece of equipment.

 

[PedroDaGr8]

On the sonic differences of hard drives using identical stored FLAC files:
Listening To Storage Listening tests reveal significant sound quality differences between various digital music storage technologies. Article By Andrew Harrison and Stephen N. Harris

In our initial listening tests, I couldn't discern any tangible difference in sound between the two hard drives. Harris thought the Hitachi sounded very ethereal, almost out of phase, and rated it lowest; the Seagate was sharper with a more thumpy bass, slightly brighter with a slight tendency to sibilance. Both lacked much drive in presenting the Madonna track, and were certainly 'mushy' compared with the best sound quality we'd heard from the QNAP stable.

Drive three (a solid state type) gave a far from subtle shift in tone and soundstaging. I thought that here this Kingston SSD spread the stage wider, could really pull apart the multi-track layers, and certainly led in blackness too, sounding agreeably quieter than it had any right to. Yet there was also a dull flatness to its presentation, even a graying of timbre.

If the Kingston SSD stood apart from the disk drives for its mostly good yet quite alien character, drive four made itself known for entirely the wrong reasons. This Corsair drive (another SSD) conspicuously highlighted vocal sibilants, and had a hard, relentless quality that was impossible to miss. Strangely, it also robbed the music of pace; it was the least engaging on any emotional level thanks to an enveloping tunelessness that appeared to carve up a song like an MP3 rip.

 

[SY]

Oh. My.

How can anyone dismiss audiophile claims after reading such a trenchant and rigorous analysis?

Fellow computer audio enthusiast (and Naim PR person) Stephen Harris

Emphasis mine.

 

[scott wurcer]

On the sonic differences of hard drives using identical stored FLAC files:
Listening To Storage Listening tests reveal significant sound quality differences between various digital music storage technologies. Article By Andrew Harrison and Stephen N. Harris

Yes, "more thump in the bass".

 

[marce]

Arghhhhhhh, as bad as the claim that CPU latency causes bits to have to wait and their level changing due to PSU fluctuations.....
Though there is a bit of truth, I do find when I store my landscape pictures on my SSD drive, they reload as Ansel Adams masterpieces, more dark bits at work. The trouble is when I try to upload them or print them, they revert back to my mundane shots.
And then there was the ripping with different power supplies, where shock horror a linear supply gave the best subjective sound when the files were replayed, confirmed by a famous Audio critic...

 

[marce]

As an aside, my wife in the kitchen, not an Audiophile, has tidied my desk and work corner even I (not an expert cleaner) noticed the difference and now cant find anything, all my papers, books and magazines are stacked neatly in a cupboard I didn't know we had!

 

[davym]

O/T but did you know that lentils can cause excessive port noise?

My missis claims she can hear this noise from the kitchen - with the door shut!

 

[Michael Bean]

O/T but did you know that lentils can cause excessive port noise?

That's funny right there, no matter who ya are...

Mike

 

[marce]

My missis must live on lentils, she even speaks the lingo

 

[DrDyna]

O/T but did you know that lentils can cause excessive port noise?

My missis claims she can hear this noise from the kitchen - with the door shut!

I usually try to drop my port tuning when I know lentils are coming so there's no port noise.

I remember joking around once, something like "what's next, hard drives sound different?" I guess no matter how far out into abject stupidity land you get, there's always an audiophile waiting there to entertain the idea gleefully.

 

[davym]

Port noise can be quite off putting butt I'm told they sell plugs in various sizes

How about frozen lentils, they say cryo treatment can be quite effective

 

[mach1]

I remember joking around once, something like "what's next, hard drives sound different?" I guess no matter how far out into abject stupidity land you get, there's always an audiophile waiting there to entertain the idea gleefully.

You would be surprised: after I had my hard drive dynamically balanced at my local tyre dealer resolution and PRAT improved markedly. Songs like Wilson Pickett's 'Mustang Sally' had a far better boogie factor.

I'm a believer.

 

[billshurv]

Who will be first to come up with 'audiophile' defragging software for a harddrive?

 

[SY]

Who will be first to come up with 'audiophile' defragging software for a harddrive?

Workin' on it.

 

[AuroraB]

Market opportunity : The Audiophile PC !
All Components selected from approved audiophile Component dealers, Everything, - included internal cabling from gold plated solid core, is cryo treated. All mechanical part, cabinet included, treated With C37 laquer for the utmost in sound quality.

 

[DrDyna]

While we're at it, we can come up with audiophile routing software, just to make sure the data only crosses routers that sound good if you download a high res audio track.

 

[billshurv]

You mean you don't already have a dedicated VPN on your network for audio?

 

[mach1]

While we're at it, we can come up with audiophile routing software, just to make sure the data only crosses routers that sound good if you download a high res audio track.

If you carefully place zircon crystals near the data entry point of your pc, they help smooth out the effects of digital imperfections caused by less than stellar routers. However, they only work in the digital domain and have no effect on analogue signals, so don't blame me if you use them incorrectly. Personally, I use a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers which grip the data cable nicely.