Funniest snake oil theories

[mchambin]

If these things were actually true, the industrial-military complex would either use these devices in common practice, or they would be hidden as a national secret and there is zero chance you would even be aware of it. So even common sense proves it all to be hype, smoke and mirrors.

Hey, this gives fuel to audio snake oil vendors.
The military submarine warfare uses golden ears who are said able to identify subs, listening to sonar data.
I have read this in some junk magazine more at sensational stuff than reliable information, so...consistent with snake oil stuff.

How about this vending argument.
Our technology used by the navy golden ears experts.


Golden ears is a must , to disqualify all those who ear nothing...deaf people obviously.
I have no shame to be one them, at least about 10 feet speaker wires.

 

[anatech]

Never thought of that, but they will grasp onto anything they think might bolster their claims.

Subs use computers these days. The audio can be monitored of course.

 

[MITsound]

Hey, this gives fuel to audio snake oil vendors.
The military submarine warfare uses golden ears who are said able to identify subs, listening to sonar data.
I have read this in some junk magazine more at sensational stuff than reliable information, so...consistent with snake oil stuff.

How about this vending argument.
Our technology used by the navy golden ears experts.


Golden ears is a must , to disqualify all those who ear nothing...deaf people obviously.
I have no shame to be one them, at least about 10 feet speaker wires.

Maybe The Men Who Stare At Goats personnel are used to test tv monitor picture quality now.

 

[Evenharmonics]

Here is the difference: You know exactly who my audio designer friends are.

Just one, Jam.

Also: You complain if I name them because I named them, and you complain if I don't name them because I failed to name them.

Can you quote my complaints about your naming or not naming your audio designer friend/s? Not holding my breath.

Also: You claim that I'm on your ignore list but don't ignore, then you claim that I'm off of your ignore list, then I'm back on, then off again. At some point, you need to pick one and settle down if you care about your own credibility.

 

[Evenharmonics]

Hey, this gives fuel to audio snake oil vendors.
The military submarine warfare uses golden ears who are said able to identify subs, listening to sonar data.
I have read this in some junk magazine more at sensational stuff than reliable information, so...consistent with snake oil stuff.

How about this vending argument.
Our technology used by the navy golden ears experts.


Golden ears is a must , to disqualify all those who ear nothing...deaf people obviously.
I have no shame to be one them, at least about 10 feet speaker wires.

You left out an important ingredient in the elite listener's club check box, trained golden ears. They're a level above the golden ear club, supposedly.

 

[Gnobuddy]

...trained golden ears.

Golden ears? Hah!

My ears are platinum. No cheesy golden ears here. I can hear a flea jump in the next county. I can hear individual electrons rattling around in my speaker cables. I can hear the sound of one phonon clapping in a warm power MOSFET.

Except, of course, when there is an audio unbeliever in the room, in which case my ears don't work at all.

That's the trouble with unbelievers. They come along and harsh my buzz, man!


-Gnobuddy

 

[HarryY]

I think much of the reason for much of this is that some have bought
into the nonsense, and to back out now would make them feel foolish.

Unscrupulous people prey on those who don't understand, then the one preyed upon
will become a zealot for the item as to not to look silly for buying it in the first place.

 

[wiseoldtech]

I think much of the reason for much of this is that some have bought
into the nonsense, and to back out now would make them feel foolish.

Unscrupulous people prey on those who don't understand, then the one preyed upon
will become a zealot for the item as to not to look silly for buying it in the first place.

That's some good comments there for sure.
I've seen/heard that myself from people who become "insistent" that what they bought is justifiable.
And it goes for anything of course.. cars, furniture, etc.
People just don't like being told anything different, and that their money was justafiably spent.
It's a human thing, sometimes related to status.

 

[daqvin_carter]

Does anyone here remember some audio amplifier/preamp vendor who would not let anyone with a cell phone or even a digital watch near their system demo because it would affect the sound? Was somewhere back in the mid 1990s I think. I just chalked it up to unstable junk.

 

[wiseoldtech]

Does anyone here remember some audio amplifier/preamp vendor who would not let anyone with a cell phone or even a digital watch near their system demo because it would affect the sound? Was somewhere back in the mid 1990s I think. I just chalked it up to unstable junk.

I do know of something in that league....
There's a 1980's Dual turntable, a nice machine, Direct Drive, etc. that if your cellphone rings very near it, the tonearm lifts and the turntable goes into fits.
Model 616Q.

 

[Evenharmonics]

Golden ears? Hah!

My ears are platinum. No cheesy golden ears here. I can hear a flea jump in the next county. I can hear individual electrons rattling around in my speaker cables. I can hear the sound of one phonon clapping in a warm power MOSFET.

Not golden ears?
David Bowie Golden Years - YouTube

As they say, there's always a bigger fish, the trained platinum ears club will stomp you.

 

[Markw4]

Just one, Jam.

Didn't I just reply to Bill a few posts up from yours that one of them designed the Blowtorch preamp? You never heard of a thread called, "John Curl's Blowtorch Preamp?" John calls a few times a week on average. Sometimes there is a three way round table with Jam and myself on the other end of the call. Proprietary stuff is commonly discussed. Although I am retired and not interested in a job, I have to keep quiet about some things. When I started working on a dac hobby that wasn't the case, I was more free to speak my mind. What I said back then was out of enthusiasm, not to sell anything. I still have nothing to sell nor promote.

 

[anatech]

Hi daqvin,

Does anyone here remember some audio amplifier/preamp vendor who would not let anyone with a cell phone or even a digital watch near their system demo because it would affect the sound? Was somewhere back in the mid 1990s I think. I just chalked it up to unstable junk.

Cell phones transmit fairly high amounts of RF energy that will disrupt many things. Even the best designed and manufactured equipment can be expected to be disrupted by cellphone output. Of course the less expensive or poorly designed equipment may well suffer more, but you have to accept the fact that a cellphone disrupts many things.

I fully support the decision that dealer made. Freedom from cellphone disruption isn't something audio equipment is designed to deal with. Even test equipment is affected sometimes, and certainly medical equipment. Great advances have been made for life support equipment, and to reduce the radiated power from cellphones. Life support equipment includes aircraft instrumentation. Sound familiar?

-Chris

 

[billshurv]

Back when the first GSM phones came out they interfered with a lot of stuff. There was a 216.7Hz frame rate and, when a phone is initially contacting the network it does it at full power, which is 2W for a 900MHz phone. TVs were particularly good at picking this up. As phones moved to spread spectrum modulation and newer equipment has to meet stricter EMC regs the problem has gone away. Still a handy test to stick an older phone on the equipment and call it.

 

[Evenharmonics]

Sometimes there is a three way round table with Jam and myself on the other end of the call. Proprietary stuff is commonly discussed.

Yeah, so called business meeting.

 

[gpauk]

Back when the first GSM phones came out they interfered with a lot of stuff. There was a 216.7Hz frame rate and, when a phone is initially contacting the network it does it at full power, which is 2W for a 900MHz phone. TVs were particularly good at picking this up. As phones moved to spread spectrum modulation and newer equipment has to meet stricter EMC regs the problem has gone away. Still a handy test to stick an older phone on the equipment and call it.

I find quite a few things pick up the characteristic handshake of 4G band 20 - 800MHz zone - despite the lower transmit power!
But then I do have circa 20 devices on test here at any given time, plus the household phones. iPhones are one of the worst interferers though.

 

[Gnobuddy]

...if your cellphone rings very near it, the tonearm lifts and the turntable goes into fits.

Back in the mid 2000s, one of my hobbies was flying radio-controlled model aeroplanes. A ringing cellphone nearby was quite a hazard, as it would disrupt your RC transmitter sufficiently for you to probably lose control of your model if it happened to be in the air at the time.

Its quite an unpleasant feeling, watching a model you have put lots of time and money into, suddenly turn into an uncontrolled (and uncontrollable) projectile. As comic-book superhero The Tick said, gravity is a harsh mistress!


-Gnobuddy

 

[kodabmx]

Does anyone here remember some audio amplifier/preamp vendor who would not let anyone with a cell phone or even a digital watch near their system demo because it would affect the sound? Was somewhere back in the mid 1990s I think. I just chalked it up to unstable junk.

I don't remember who it was but it was completely true if you had a TDMA cell phone - especially iden from MOT. I knew when I was getting a call long before it rang because I could hear it through any amp near by and see it as snow bands on the TV.

Someone made a compilation: Cell Phone Interference Sound Effects All Sounds - YouTube

It's the same interference that led to "Airplane Mode".

Until recently, you weren't allowed to use a cell phone near a gas pump here. They said it was to prevent fires but I think it was more likely to prevent the pump from miscounting the fuel.

 

[Markw4]

Yeah, so called business meeting.

Not really. In the end they are competitors. But they are friends too.

 

[kevinaston1]

Golden ears.

Some years back, radio 4 had a programme about golden eared people. They had a group of professional session musicians recreate a piece of music; the golden eared ones managed a 50% success rate telling the original from the recreation.

Then they introduced a twist into the equation; a woman with aural synesthesia, who also knew the musical piece well.

She pulled them up on the first chord. That is not right, it should be orange with a yellow fringe, that has a red tinge.