I remember as a kid when friends would try to make their job applications look like their current job was fancier than it was. The classic was "food services hostess" for working at a fast food place.
Now job listings are doing the same thing, the titles sound fancy but hidden in the job description is the truth that 99% of the job will be customer service or cashiering.
With great lines like "while empowering you to learn, grow and deliver" which means "we are going to suck the life out of you, while pretending to care"
"As an Inventory Specialist, you will be collaborative and inclusive in helping our customers while being part of a fun, team-oriented retail culture. " = "We are calling the job inventory specialist but you are mostly going to be customer service and we will just blame you for inventory issues"
"....maintaining accurate inventory controls within the store." = "try not to steal too much product and we appreciate it if you snitch on other employees if they steal stuff"
"You will also coach other team members to..." = "you get to bitch at other employees to make you feel better"
" and maintain a neat and clean store" = "as the new guy you get to clean the toilets"
"Understand and use basic selling skills to engage and present solutions" = "customers are going to yell you at"
"Be flexible in performing other duties as assigned" = "someone just threw up on isle 3"
Now job listings are doing the same thing, the titles sound fancy but hidden in the job description is the truth that 99% of the job will be customer service or cashiering.
With great lines like "while empowering you to learn, grow and deliver" which means "we are going to suck the life out of you, while pretending to care"
"As an Inventory Specialist, you will be collaborative and inclusive in helping our customers while being part of a fun, team-oriented retail culture. " = "We are calling the job inventory specialist but you are mostly going to be customer service and we will just blame you for inventory issues"
"....maintaining accurate inventory controls within the store." = "try not to steal too much product and we appreciate it if you snitch on other employees if they steal stuff"
"You will also coach other team members to..." = "you get to bitch at other employees to make you feel better"
" and maintain a neat and clean store" = "as the new guy you get to clean the toilets"
"Understand and use basic selling skills to engage and present solutions" = "customers are going to yell you at"
"Be flexible in performing other duties as assigned" = "someone just threw up on isle 3"
Oh dear. I learned this one a long time ago. Somebody stop me 😉
..Then you need to complete the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P.) Special High Intensity Training.
If you fail this level you need to take Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.) Special High Intensity Training.
When you are full of Special High Intensity Training we can have you train others. You will be placed on the Basic Understanding Lecturer's List (B.U.L.L.) Special High Intensity Training.
Those wishing to pursue a career in this field can learn Managerial Operations Research Education (M.O.R.E) Special High Intensity Training, and work under the Head Of Teaching (H.O.T.) Special High Intensity Training.
Thank You,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training.
..Then you need to complete the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P.) Special High Intensity Training.
If you fail this level you need to take Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.) Special High Intensity Training.
When you are full of Special High Intensity Training we can have you train others. You will be placed on the Basic Understanding Lecturer's List (B.U.L.L.) Special High Intensity Training.
Those wishing to pursue a career in this field can learn Managerial Operations Research Education (M.O.R.E) Special High Intensity Training, and work under the Head Of Teaching (H.O.T.) Special High Intensity Training.
Thank You,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training.
My favorite: you want a driveline technician with full ASE certs, a full tool box, and a smog license and you're offering minimum wage maybe 2 bucks more...
Pardon my attitude but I'm going to do some other thing and opt not to get a cancer prize.
Good luck in the transmission business...
Pardon my attitude but I'm going to do some other thing and opt not to get a cancer prize.
Good luck in the transmission business...
And other assigned duties....
In otherwords once they figure out that you are good at your job, they will give you the opertunity to perform tasks that are required
for someone at twice your pay scale for your barely abore mininimum wage pay.
In otherwords once they figure out that you are good at your job, they will give you the opertunity to perform tasks that are required
for someone at twice your pay scale for your barely abore mininimum wage pay.
I saw this on the sign in front of a local small scale grocery store called Greg's yesterday:
"The boss is like a diaper, always on your butt and often full of SH__!"
Today the sign read " Please don't fire me, Greg."
I had lots of different titles during my 41 year career at Motorola. When I started on the assembly line in 1973, I was a "Final Test and Tune Technician." After a year and a half of that Special High Intensity Training, I transferred into the cal lab where I performed lots of different tasks mostly related to keeping the factory running smoothly. There were as many as 5 people doing this task on the day shift, each with their own area of responsibility. There was just me on the evening shift, so I covered everything from all of the radio products, to the operations making parts that went into those radios, mostly hybrid microelectronics and quartz crystals. My "title" varied depending on which part of the factory I was standing in at the moment. Factory employees were not allowed to do anything to a malfunctioning piece of equipment except for shutting it off is it was smoking. Whacking a piece of test equipment was grounds for dismissal, but one of my titles was the percussive engineer. I was allowed to whack a Cushman CE-3 communications analyzer with the butt end of my Motorola HT-220 walkie talkie with no fear of dismissal. At least 50% of the time it was all that was needed. I was a laser technician, a HiVac tech, a mechanic, an electrician, the maintenance man, an EMT or paramedic because I pushed a "crash cart" full of spares and other supplies around the factory, and the "beach bum" or "surfer dude" since that's what I looked like for most of 10 years, or when asked what I do, it was just "Mr. Fixit."
After digging DEEP into the BULL and realizing that the factory's days were numbered due to offshoring, I got a real day time job in engineering. I started in Engineering as a "designer" in 1984 and left as a "Principal Staff Research Engineer" in 2014, after acquiring two engineering degrees at Motorola's expense.
"The boss is like a diaper, always on your butt and often full of SH__!"
Today the sign read " Please don't fire me, Greg."
I had lots of different titles during my 41 year career at Motorola. When I started on the assembly line in 1973, I was a "Final Test and Tune Technician." After a year and a half of that Special High Intensity Training, I transferred into the cal lab where I performed lots of different tasks mostly related to keeping the factory running smoothly. There were as many as 5 people doing this task on the day shift, each with their own area of responsibility. There was just me on the evening shift, so I covered everything from all of the radio products, to the operations making parts that went into those radios, mostly hybrid microelectronics and quartz crystals. My "title" varied depending on which part of the factory I was standing in at the moment. Factory employees were not allowed to do anything to a malfunctioning piece of equipment except for shutting it off is it was smoking. Whacking a piece of test equipment was grounds for dismissal, but one of my titles was the percussive engineer. I was allowed to whack a Cushman CE-3 communications analyzer with the butt end of my Motorola HT-220 walkie talkie with no fear of dismissal. At least 50% of the time it was all that was needed. I was a laser technician, a HiVac tech, a mechanic, an electrician, the maintenance man, an EMT or paramedic because I pushed a "crash cart" full of spares and other supplies around the factory, and the "beach bum" or "surfer dude" since that's what I looked like for most of 10 years, or when asked what I do, it was just "Mr. Fixit."
After digging DEEP into the BULL and realizing that the factory's days were numbered due to offshoring, I got a real day time job in engineering. I started in Engineering as a "designer" in 1984 and left as a "Principal Staff Research Engineer" in 2014, after acquiring two engineering degrees at Motorola's expense.
So I suppose you do not know "Mooseboy".
https://www.pcmag.com/news/cool-images-hidden-on-silicon-chips
"This perplexing artwork was secreted in a Motorola RF IC Nokia 5190 phone. Who "Moose Boy" is remains a mystery; he looks like he could be a mascot for a Canadian fast food chain or something."
The journalist is an ignoramus: the art is clearly "{somebody's} BIG BOY" (the Big Boy chain split after the art was drawn). Maybe D or E.
I never heard of "Mooseboy" but I worked in a facility that did not do IC design or fabrication during the time period in question. We did have some high powered diagnostic equipment for finding faults in IC's including a fancy electron microscope that could examine chips while they were powered up and give approximate voltage levels on the metal runners on the top few layers depending on how the chip was fabbed, passivated, and packaged We did waste a few days cracking open some old Pentium chips looking for the infamous "BILL SUX" message without success. It is entirely possible that we didn't have the right chips.