Drembo,
Their ears are just as golden as ours, but don't normal focus on the things we don't want them to notice. You just have to change the reasons she wants to be listening to your system.
Tell her you're building the front end to a home theatre that is guaranteed to make all her friends start crying before the beginning of any one of the collection of romantic comedies you are going to buy for her. Then set aside some money to buy all these romantic comedies and don't forget to build the rest of the surround system. Then invite all her friends over so she can show you off as the hunky provider of in-house romance. Make enough real hot chocolate for the occasion.
Then top it off by buying the sultriest CDs you can get and just lounge around with her and a (very) good bottle of wine on some random rainy weekend. Make sure to play the same stuff on a cheap boom box in the kitchen the sometime during the week before.
And if that doesn't work, offer to buy her, as compensation, the equivalent in shoes, lingerie, dinner dates, etc. Promise to talk nice to her weird family members.
And if that doesn't work, get a lawyer, because your addiction will get the better of you...
ensen.
PS: Although I'm currently single, when my GF left me (for other reasons of course) she took all the furniture, predictably. Of course, I kept all, and I do mean *all* the electronics.
Their ears are just as golden as ours, but don't normal focus on the things we don't want them to notice. You just have to change the reasons she wants to be listening to your system.
Tell her you're building the front end to a home theatre that is guaranteed to make all her friends start crying before the beginning of any one of the collection of romantic comedies you are going to buy for her. Then set aside some money to buy all these romantic comedies and don't forget to build the rest of the surround system. Then invite all her friends over so she can show you off as the hunky provider of in-house romance. Make enough real hot chocolate for the occasion.
Then top it off by buying the sultriest CDs you can get and just lounge around with her and a (very) good bottle of wine on some random rainy weekend. Make sure to play the same stuff on a cheap boom box in the kitchen the sometime during the week before.
And if that doesn't work, offer to buy her, as compensation, the equivalent in shoes, lingerie, dinner dates, etc. Promise to talk nice to her weird family members.
And if that doesn't work, get a lawyer, because your addiction will get the better of you...
ensen.PS: Although I'm currently single, when my GF left me (for other reasons of course) she took all the furniture, predictably. Of course, I kept all, and I do mean *all* the electronics.
Re-read purplepeople's message. There is not an error to be found.
My girlfriend tolerates my audio hobbies and says she 'sometimes' hears a difference. Mix her-time with hobby-time and hobby-money with gift-money to some reasonable extent and all is well.
If you have a good hi end store somewhere locally, go in with a 'favorite' (hers not yours) disc or movie and sit for an hour or two. My local store will let you hang out as long as you want, unless there's a better client wanting for the room. Anyway, enjoy it until she has a big smile, then ask the guy 'how much to get exactly this' and look longingly into her eyes with a knowing face that you just can't have it. On the way home, hypothesize that its not 'that' much money and see her reaction. A day later, mention that some cyber-dudes on DIYAudio said that the system you heard was good, but not that good and you could build your own better, cheaper and smarter than that brand. At that point, you're as close to a go-ahead as you'll ever be.
Just my method. . . uhhhhhh. . . I mean opinion.
Sandy.
My girlfriend tolerates my audio hobbies and says she 'sometimes' hears a difference. Mix her-time with hobby-time and hobby-money with gift-money to some reasonable extent and all is well.
If you have a good hi end store somewhere locally, go in with a 'favorite' (hers not yours) disc or movie and sit for an hour or two. My local store will let you hang out as long as you want, unless there's a better client wanting for the room. Anyway, enjoy it until she has a big smile, then ask the guy 'how much to get exactly this' and look longingly into her eyes with a knowing face that you just can't have it. On the way home, hypothesize that its not 'that' much money and see her reaction. A day later, mention that some cyber-dudes on DIYAudio said that the system you heard was good, but not that good and you could build your own better, cheaper and smarter than that brand. At that point, you're as close to a go-ahead as you'll ever be.
Just my method. . . uhhhhhh. . . I mean opinion.
Sandy.
WAF: or how cheap is DIY audio really
Oh well...every day I struggle to figure what is.... not excessive..........quite difficult
Anyway, by all means one should never give HER the opportunity to judge what is or is not ......excessive.......because in HER view the expense for more than 2 resistors is......excessive (same thing what many of us think about having more than 1 lipstick).
So if at all, You talk about Your stuff and You can`t avoid talking about costs the best therefore is try to avoid naming ANY numbers...... somehow.
Use words like........ great deal, very cheap, special offer, absolute bargain, almost nothing, free...or... if I (`d) only keep half of these and sell the rest again I even make some profit..........
If it gets inevitably and Your`re forced to say something (still) more precise............ SWINDLE what You can
That`s the best way to keep You both happy!
(vice versa of course the same is true - or would You really prefer to know that the latest face-cream bargain was ONLY $56?)
Can it be that I just carried some owls to Athens?
Oh well...every day I struggle to figure what is.... not excessive..........quite difficult
Anyway, by all means one should never give HER the opportunity to judge what is or is not ......excessive.......because in HER view the expense for more than 2 resistors is......excessive (same thing what many of us think about having more than 1 lipstick).
So if at all, You talk about Your stuff and You can`t avoid talking about costs the best therefore is try to avoid naming ANY numbers...... somehow.
Use words like........ great deal, very cheap, special offer, absolute bargain, almost nothing, free...or... if I (`d) only keep half of these and sell the rest again I even make some profit..........
If it gets inevitably and Your`re forced to say something (still) more precise............ SWINDLE what You can
That`s the best way to keep You both happy!
(vice versa of course the same is true - or would You really prefer to know that the latest face-cream bargain was ONLY $56?)
Can it be that I just carried some owls to Athens?
Re: WAF: or how cheap is DIY audio really
Easy. Are all the bills being paid?
I've never really asked or questioned what my SO's have paid for things like shoes or make up or whatever, providing the bills are paid. If it makes them happy.....
That's too much game playing for me now. Life is too short to waste much energy on that sort of bulls**t.
Sorry, that's Greek to me.
cocolino said:
Easy. Are all the bills being paid?
I've never really asked or questioned what my SO's have paid for things like shoes or make up or whatever, providing the bills are paid. If it makes them happy.....
That's too much game playing for me now. Life is too short to waste much energy on that sort of bulls**t.
Can it be that I just carried some owls to Athens?
Sorry, that's Greek to me.
Order at least one free sample to be used in your project. Then, no matter how much it costs, keep pointing out that something in there was free, free is a very powerful word.
But don't worry, you are saving money, compared to brand names. Really, at first DIY is very economical, it's just when you build amp after amp after speaker after speaker that it becomes more expensive... Don't worry, your rime will come....
But don't worry, you are saving money, compared to brand names. Really, at first DIY is very economical, it's just when you build amp after amp after speaker after speaker that it becomes more expensive... Don't worry, your rime will come....
Unfortunately, for most of our WAF - it`s not that easy - I fear.
Yes, bulls**t it is - but no energy wasted! That`s exactly what my point was about.
In fact I found out that in practise it`s really the least abrasive way between men and women in this matter so why artificially complicating things with the truth in this case.
It`s simply the KISS principle for WAF & DIY-audio.
And guys.....don`t tell me that some cheating is a bad thing.
If You are so true You`d had to admit that this entire hobby is ..... excessive (at least in many, many cases of the guys hanging around here) what concerns time, money, space and a few other things.....and You`d have a hard time if You had to justify this seriously.
Therefore I do not even begin with trying to argue or justify and IMO talking about money and how much You saved by having built by Your own (what`s mostly not true also) or trying to convince her how a fine thing can be DIY audio usually is not very successfull on the long run..........the best what You can (and will) expect after all this efforts is ....well,..fine......BUT...
That`s what I call wasting energy, therefore skip the persuading exercises, if possible avoid talking about it at all (in particular about money), save this time and do Your things You have to do
BTW: to tell her that this it what makes You happy can`t harm of course but again the right wording is most important so don`t forget to add "after You" - otherwise You might have set Yourself in trouble yet again.
cocolino said:
Yes it is bullsh*t, and it is energy wasted. I've never stopped my partners doing what they wanted or enjoyed (with a very few exceptions) so why in the hell should they stop me having what pleases me? Or whay should I have to schmooze or rationalise it to them?
Talk about an unhealthy dysfunctional relationship.
your idealism is admirable, but...
it's neither unhealthy, nor dysfunctional. it's just the way things are. this is not cynicism: we get along with other people by NOT speaking our minds. trying to maintain a relationship using nothing but truth, forthrightness, and honesty is - dismaying though it may be to hear it - a fool's errand. that's why all relationships are WORK. it's not a picnic being married for 13+ years, i can tell you. but it's worth it.
so, if your SO asks you 'does this make me look fat?'
the correct answer, unequivocally, 100% of the time is: 'NO.'
/andrew
...i guess this has something to do with DIY audio. there, i mentioned audio so this post is still on topic
it's neither unhealthy, nor dysfunctional. it's just the way things are. this is not cynicism: we get along with other people by NOT speaking our minds. trying to maintain a relationship using nothing but truth, forthrightness, and honesty is - dismaying though it may be to hear it - a fool's errand. that's why all relationships are WORK. it's not a picnic being married for 13+ years, i can tell you. but it's worth it.
so, if your SO asks you 'does this make me look fat?'
the correct answer, unequivocally, 100% of the time is: 'NO.'
/andrew
...i guess this has something to do with DIY audio. there, i mentioned audio so this post is still on topic
we get along with other people by NOT speaking our minds.
I don't agree.
As for the rest of the post, I fail to see how it relates to my point from earlier, that if it makes you happy, doesn't harm your partner or send you bankrupt that you should have to seek permission from your partner to do something that pleases you, or sneak and connive to obtain it. That's obviously the sign of a healthy relationship.
I don't agree.
As for the rest of the post, I fail to see how it relates to my point from earlier, that if it makes you happy, doesn't harm your partner or send you bankrupt that you should have to seek permission from your partner to do something that pleases you, or sneak and connive to obtain it. That's obviously the sign of a healthy relationship.
Caution - cynics crossing
I think it's rather hilarious that we are now arguing over how to argue with our significant others.
Drembo: Of course, you must be aware that that nothing either you or your wife do is saving any money. If it's an activity that doesn't earn money or place it into a financial security, it's not saving anything. Maybe you should explain yourself by saying that you are spending much less. One analogy for her is that you can go to many concerts to hear all the same music, but once. Spend the same money on DIY and listen to the music many times and any times.
ensen.
I think it's rather hilarious that we are now arguing over how to argue with our significant others.
Drembo: Of course, you must be aware that that nothing either you or your wife do is saving any money. If it's an activity that doesn't earn money or place it into a financial security, it's not saving anything. Maybe you should explain yourself by saying that you are spending much less. One analogy for her is that you can go to many concerts to hear all the same music, but once. Spend the same money on DIY and listen to the music many times and any times.
ensen.
Hi,
No buts...anything else is ultimately self-deceipt.
If people want to live a lie, then that's up to them...
We're all different and I'm sure so are your partners...if you want a relationship to work then it's up to you to work on it, no lieing is going to help you in the long run.
Sure, if you're stinking rich and gorgeous looking they may stick around a little longer...does that make you happy?
Will you have a good relationship with your partner?
Don't fool yourself.
Cheers,
P.S." How much $ am I saving my wife???"
Shouldn't that read how much am I kidding myself?
No buts...anything else is ultimately self-deceipt.
If people want to live a lie, then that's up to them...
We're all different and I'm sure so are your partners...if you want a relationship to work then it's up to you to work on it, no lieing is going to help you in the long run.
Sure, if you're stinking rich and gorgeous looking they may stick around a little longer...does that make you happy?
Will you have a good relationship with your partner?
Don't fool yourself.
Cheers,
P.S." How much $ am I saving my wife???"
Shouldn't that read how much am I kidding myself?
faustian bargin said:your idealism is admirable, but...
it's neither unhealthy, nor dysfunctional. it's just the way things are. this is not cynicism: we get along with other people by NOT speaking our minds. trying to maintain a relationship using nothing but truth, forthrightness, and honesty is - dismaying though it may be to hear it - a fool's errand. that's why all relationships are WORK. it's not a picnic being married for 13+ years, i can tell you. but it's worth it.
so, if your SO asks you 'does this make me look fat?'
the correct answer, unequivocally, 100% of the time is: 'NO.'
/andrew
...i guess this has something to do with DIY audio. there, i mentioned audio so this post is still on topic
(edited for language by pm)
Luckly, that's not the way things are for most people.
If you married your knocked-up hi-school sweetheart when you didn't know anything about yourself or about her -- and after her first baby she turned into the stereotypical american-fatso-biatch and you are too weak and lazy to get out don't blame it on the system.
What? You don't know about two of the main currents of Islam?
Anyways as you may have noticed I hardly stick my nose into diatribes anymore but in this case.. it is for personal reasons that I feel very strongly about the subject.
PS: who made the last post figure and the"quote" button soo big?
Anyways as you may have noticed I hardly stick my nose into diatribes anymore but in this case.. it is for personal reasons that I feel very strongly about the subject.
PS: who made the last post figure and the"quote" button soo big?
Faustian,
mine was simply an hyperbole to illustrate nigthmare marriages that are, unfortunately, all too common. I am not saying that applies to you AT ALL.
However, the wife asking about the dress is her way of demanding a compliment and some attention. If it gets to that there is a problem.
Luckly, well sort of, I am the fatso in the family and my wife is slender as a race horse so she can put on whatever. I never ask her if the pants make me look fat though.
mine was simply an hyperbole to illustrate nigthmare marriages that are, unfortunately, all too common. I am not saying that applies to you AT ALL.
However, the wife asking about the dress is her way of demanding a compliment and some attention. If it gets to that there is a problem.
Luckly, well sort of, I am the fatso in the family and my wife is slender as a race horse so she can put on whatever. I never ask her if the pants make me look fat though.
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