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Re:What is Mc Auliffe?
Hi,
Not sure it is spelled correctly...here's the story:
Copyright Jocko Homo.
The Huns sent an emissary to get the 101st to surrender. The US general
(McAuliffe.....may not be spelled right, so I'll abbreviate.......)
wondered why the Huns wanted to surrender to him. His staff had to
explain that no, the Hun wanted the US to surrender. Dejected, he hung
his head and said, "Aw, nuts......."
"Well, what do I tell them?", he asked his staff. A young adjutant, from
Texas (!) replied:
"Well, General................what about what you just said?"
"You mean 'nuts' ? Tell them that?"
"Yes, sir."
Pause.............
"OK". Gen. Mc. then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote N U TS on it, and
handed it to the Hun.
The baffled Hun, having no idea what they were up to, looked at the
paper, confused, tried to read it aloud in his native German.
"Noot-zee? What does this mean?"
The Americans all got a good laugh out of it, put his blindfold back on,
and escorted him out.
"So......it wasn't the defiant "f-you" reply that everyone came to believe
it was. Just a bunch of tired, worn down guys trying hard to cope with
the adverse situation.
I probably would have been in the 101st, if the Army hadn't realised that
make me an officer was a bad idea, and ended my military career before it
was too late to change their mind.
Lucky for the Army.............."
Cheers,
Hi,
Not sure it is spelled correctly...here's the story:
Copyright Jocko Homo.
The Huns sent an emissary to get the 101st to surrender. The US general
(McAuliffe.....may not be spelled right, so I'll abbreviate.......)
wondered why the Huns wanted to surrender to him. His staff had to
explain that no, the Hun wanted the US to surrender. Dejected, he hung
his head and said, "Aw, nuts......."
"Well, what do I tell them?", he asked his staff. A young adjutant, from
Texas (!) replied:
"Well, General................what about what you just said?"
"You mean 'nuts' ? Tell them that?"
"Yes, sir."
Pause.............
"OK". Gen. Mc. then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote N U TS on it, and
handed it to the Hun.
The baffled Hun, having no idea what they were up to, looked at the
paper, confused, tried to read it aloud in his native German.
"Noot-zee? What does this mean?"
The Americans all got a good laugh out of it, put his blindfold back on,
and escorted him out.
"So......it wasn't the defiant "f-you" reply that everyone came to believe
it was. Just a bunch of tired, worn down guys trying hard to cope with
the adverse situation.
I probably would have been in the 101st, if the Army hadn't realised that
make me an officer was a bad idea, and ended my military career before it
was too late to change their mind.
Lucky for the Army.............."
Cheers,
ALRIGHT ALREADY!!! I'll post again... but this post will contain usefull information....
MIKE, the chicken lived for 18 months without a head. He died from choking on a piece of corn...
www.miketheheadlesschicken.org
MIKE, the chicken lived for 18 months without a head. He died from choking on a piece of corn...
www.miketheheadlesschicken.org
An externally hosted image should be here but it was not working when we last tested it.
Some more usefull facts...
(that I got emailed)
>13 people a year are killed by vending machines falling on them.
>(How unlucky. Killed by your own best friend.)
>
>0.3% of all road accidents in Canada involve a Moose.
>
>1 out of 4 Americans do not know what their astrological sign is.
>
>The average person will spend 2 weeks over their lifetime waiting
>for the traffic light to change.
>
>The percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is
>55%.
>
>There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
>
>The world record for time without sleep is 264 hours (11 days) by
>Randy Gardner in 1965.
>
>22,000 cheques will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the
>next hour.
>
>40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
>(That's a lot of shoes!)
>
>2,500 newborn babies will be dropped in the next month.
>(You gotta wonder: Who was dropped as a baby??)
>
>27% of Americans think billboards are beautiful.
>(Advertising is doing it's job.)
>
>50% of teenage boys say that they would rather be rich than smart.
>(Most smart boys get rich anyway.)
>
>57% of British school kids think Germany is the most boring country
>in Europe.
>
>7% of Americans think Elvis is alive.
>(No Comment)
>
>880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect
>cardholder information on their magnetic strips.
>
>90 percent of women who walk into a department store immediately
>turn to the right.
>
>About 1 out of every 70 people who pick their nose actually eat
>their boogers.
>
>Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40320 ways to rearrange the
>other eight reindeer.
>
>Did you know that you're more likely to be killed by a champagne
>cork than a poisonous spider?
>
>It would take more than 150 years to drive a car to the sun.
>
>More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane
>crashes.
>
>Odds of being killed by falling out of bed are 1 in 2 million.
>
>In the next seven days, 800 Americans will be injured by their
>jewelery.
>
>Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip
>correctly
>
>Statistically the safest age of life is 10 years old.
>
>The average four year-old child asks over 400 questions a day.
>
>The average person keeps old magazines for 29 weeks before they
>throw them out.
>
>The average person over fifty will have spent one year looking for
>lost items.
>
>The average person spends about two years on the phone in a
>lifetime.
>
>Australian Graham Barker extracted his own belly button fluff every
>day for 18 years acquiring a record-breaking amount of fluff. He
>hopes to accumulate enough fluff to stuff a pillow.
>
>Twelve babies will be given to the wrong parents each day.
>
>You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.
>
>Fifty percent of all marshmallows consumed in the U.S. have been
>toasted.
>
>Approximately 97.35618329% of all statistics are made up.
>(There you go. Makes you wonder whether any of this stuff was true.)
(that I got emailed)
>13 people a year are killed by vending machines falling on them.
>(How unlucky. Killed by your own best friend.)
>
>0.3% of all road accidents in Canada involve a Moose.
>
>1 out of 4 Americans do not know what their astrological sign is.
>
>The average person will spend 2 weeks over their lifetime waiting
>for the traffic light to change.
>
>The percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is
>55%.
>
>There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
>
>The world record for time without sleep is 264 hours (11 days) by
>Randy Gardner in 1965.
>
>22,000 cheques will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the
>next hour.
>
>40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
>(That's a lot of shoes!)
>
>2,500 newborn babies will be dropped in the next month.
>(You gotta wonder: Who was dropped as a baby??)
>
>27% of Americans think billboards are beautiful.
>(Advertising is doing it's job.)
>
>50% of teenage boys say that they would rather be rich than smart.
>(Most smart boys get rich anyway.)
>
>57% of British school kids think Germany is the most boring country
>in Europe.
>
>7% of Americans think Elvis is alive.
>(No Comment)
>
>880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect
>cardholder information on their magnetic strips.
>
>90 percent of women who walk into a department store immediately
>turn to the right.
>
>About 1 out of every 70 people who pick their nose actually eat
>their boogers.
>
>Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40320 ways to rearrange the
>other eight reindeer.
>
>Did you know that you're more likely to be killed by a champagne
>cork than a poisonous spider?
>
>It would take more than 150 years to drive a car to the sun.
>
>More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane
>crashes.
>
>Odds of being killed by falling out of bed are 1 in 2 million.
>
>In the next seven days, 800 Americans will be injured by their
>jewelery.
>
>Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip
>correctly
>
>Statistically the safest age of life is 10 years old.
>
>The average four year-old child asks over 400 questions a day.
>
>The average person keeps old magazines for 29 weeks before they
>throw them out.
>
>The average person over fifty will have spent one year looking for
>lost items.
>
>The average person spends about two years on the phone in a
>lifetime.
>
>Australian Graham Barker extracted his own belly button fluff every
>day for 18 years acquiring a record-breaking amount of fluff. He
>hopes to accumulate enough fluff to stuff a pillow.
>
>Twelve babies will be given to the wrong parents each day.
>
>You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.
>
>Fifty percent of all marshmallows consumed in the U.S. have been
>toasted.
>
>Approximately 97.35618329% of all statistics are made up.
>(There you go. Makes you wonder whether any of this stuff was true.)
yeah, i got a similar email a few months ago. my favourite was how many people were admitted to hospital with burns suffered by putting on a jumper with lit cigarettes in there mouth. really, how stupid must these people be. i would rather suffer the injury than the humiliation of having to admit that was what happened to a doctor.
"THINGS TO DO IN A LIFT!!!"
grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "shut up, all of you just shut up"
call out "group hug" then enforce it
ask "did you feel that?"
lay down a twister board and ask peopleif they would like to play
move your desk into the lift and whenever someone gets on ask if they have an appointment
bring a camera and take a picture of everyone in the lift
when there is only one other person in the lift tap them on the sholder and then pretend that it wasnt you
call the psychic hotline and ask them if they know what floor you are on
push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock, smile and go back for more
ask if you can push the buttons for other people but push the wrong ones
hold the doors open and say that youre waiting for a friend after a while let them close and say "hi greg, how has your day been?"
drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up then scream "thats mine"
leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking
pretend that you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
when the doors close, announce to the others "its ok, dont panic, they open again"
stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally
swat flies that dont exist
tell people that you can see their aura
crack open your briefcase or handbag and while peering inside ask "got enough air in there?"
stand quiet and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off
stare at another passenger for a while then announce in horror "youre one of them" and back away slowly
wear a puppet on youre hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
listen to the lift walls with your stethoscope
draw a little square around yourself on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers "this is my personal space"
grinning, stare at another passenger for a while and then announce "i have new socks on"
make explosion noises when anyone presses a button
grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "shut up, all of you just shut up"
call out "group hug" then enforce it
ask "did you feel that?"
lay down a twister board and ask peopleif they would like to play
move your desk into the lift and whenever someone gets on ask if they have an appointment
bring a camera and take a picture of everyone in the lift
when there is only one other person in the lift tap them on the sholder and then pretend that it wasnt you
call the psychic hotline and ask them if they know what floor you are on
push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock, smile and go back for more
ask if you can push the buttons for other people but push the wrong ones
hold the doors open and say that youre waiting for a friend after a while let them close and say "hi greg, how has your day been?"
drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up then scream "thats mine"
leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking
pretend that you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
when the doors close, announce to the others "its ok, dont panic, they open again"
stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally
swat flies that dont exist
tell people that you can see their aura
crack open your briefcase or handbag and while peering inside ask "got enough air in there?"
stand quiet and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off
stare at another passenger for a while then announce in horror "youre one of them" and back away slowly
wear a puppet on youre hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
listen to the lift walls with your stethoscope
draw a little square around yourself on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers "this is my personal space"
grinning, stare at another passenger for a while and then announce "i have new socks on"
make explosion noises when anyone presses a button
Subject: I thought you might be interested in this new device.
I thought you might be interested in this new device.
I don't know if you've heard, but starting Jan 1, 2003 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to Tandy's and they wanted $50 for a headset with a boom microphone for my mobile phone. I have come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.
These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all.
I paid $0.08 each because I bought in quantity. I'm selling them for $1.00.
I tried them out on Erickson, Motorola, & Nokia phones and they worked perfectly. A photo is attached. Take a look this customer and let me know if you want one.
**scroll down a few posts to see the picture**
I thought you might be interested in this new device.
I don't know if you've heard, but starting Jan 1, 2003 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to Tandy's and they wanted $50 for a headset with a boom microphone for my mobile phone. I have come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.
These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all.
I paid $0.08 each because I bought in quantity. I'm selling them for $1.00.
I tried them out on Erickson, Motorola, & Nokia phones and they worked perfectly. A photo is attached. Take a look this customer and let me know if you want one.
**scroll down a few posts to see the picture**
Little known facts!
Did you know that if you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee? (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
(Hang on to your hat on this one) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig but I would like to know how they discovered this, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(That's why Flipper was always smiling!) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine....and why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy and you just thought they were tough to kill)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What's for dinn....) (I hope no one told them about the pigs)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (That's great but in my next life, I still want to be a pig: quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is ............... Lucky pigs
Did you know that if you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee? (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
(Hang on to your hat on this one) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig but I would like to know how they discovered this, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(That's why Flipper was always smiling!) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine....and why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy and you just thought they were tough to kill)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What's for dinn....) (I hope no one told them about the pigs)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (That's great but in my next life, I still want to be a pig: quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is ............... Lucky pigs
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