my salesman stories
In a time of absolute financial desperation I worked as a salesman for a national chain of Really Sucky mid-fi. I was the NEW salesman. The store that I worked at was way out in the boondocks in the middle of east Tennessee. (Hey Grey - tell 'em how far that is from civilization!) One day the local sheriff wandered in and started yakking to the manager about not much at all. In the course of the conversation he mentioned that one of his guys was going to buy his wife a clock radio as a birthday present. He said that he had steered the guy to this store. So when the deputy wandered in the manager had me do the sales pitch. Now I should also explain that this was the mid '70s, I was a male with hair down to my shoulder blades and as soon as I opened my mouth it was obvious that I was a (GASP!) yankee! A good 6 or 7 strikes right there. So after a bit of small talk and trying unsuccessfully to find out what price range he was interested in I turned on a mid-priced unit. That happened to be tuned to the "oldies" rock station which was playing "Along Comes Mary" one of the original marijuana songs. So I said "maybe you like Country" and tuned to the local Big Country station. They were doing a commercial about some surplus store that was selling all of our products at 50 to 60 % off that they had bought from a store that had its roof collapse from some storm. The deputy thanked me and walked out. I did not last long in sales.
About a year later I was working at a local AM/FM station as a DJ until I showed up late for work one day. Suddenly I had some free time so the next Friday afternoon I drove down to Atlanta to visit a sometimes girl friend. I got there around 2 PM just as she was leaving to go to work at her second shift job. (DAMN! I had forgot about that!) So I desided to go to a "real" stereo store to see what they had. After a few minutes talking to the salesman some other guy walked in and I told the salesman to take care of him. He was wearing an expensive suit. He asked about some speaker and the saleman said that the unfinished ones were $1200 a pair and the finished ones were $1800 a pair. The guy wanted the finished ones. The salesman swallowed kinda hard and said they only had the unfinished ones. No sale. So the conversation drifted to amplifiers. The salesman said one amp was great because it had 600 watts per channel. The guy asked why he should buy a 1200 watt amp for his living room when ham radio operators could talk around the world with 100 watts. I admit I was impressed with the way the salesman danced aroud that one, altho I don't remember what he said. After some more technical stuff I told the other guy I was impressed with his knowledge and asked what his occupation was. He said "Electrical Engineer". Then they started talking about some receiver. The salesman bragged that it had only 0.0015% distortion. The guy asked why he should buy that unit when the FM stations were allowed to broadcast 2.5% distortion. The salesman did another elegant dance. I was impressed. I politely asked the guy who he worked for. He looked at me and said "The FCC". I nearly passed out. Eventually he and I started talking radio, closing time came and the salesman had us leave. Out in the parking lot the guy showed me The Car he drove, explained how they could pin point to within one house any ham, CB, etc. station they could hear from miles away and told me stories about "busts" that he had been on. I got back to her place after she did. That was one night talking to some guy I had never met before was more fun than spending the rest of the night with a lady I had known for years.
Another time I was in some stereo store and some salescritter (thanks Grey) was flapping his trap about why some stereo unit was better than another because the first one was new. He emphasized that he liked NEW stuff and did not like anything OLD. If he had not been such an *** I would have let him get away with that. But I (Mr. Smartmouth) said "I bet you hate to have sex in the missionary position. It has been done that way for hundreds of generations". The salescritter turned all shades of red. After that color show I turned and left.
This is fun. Keep the stories coming guys!
In a time of absolute financial desperation I worked as a salesman for a national chain of Really Sucky mid-fi. I was the NEW salesman. The store that I worked at was way out in the boondocks in the middle of east Tennessee. (Hey Grey - tell 'em how far that is from civilization!) One day the local sheriff wandered in and started yakking to the manager about not much at all. In the course of the conversation he mentioned that one of his guys was going to buy his wife a clock radio as a birthday present. He said that he had steered the guy to this store. So when the deputy wandered in the manager had me do the sales pitch. Now I should also explain that this was the mid '70s, I was a male with hair down to my shoulder blades and as soon as I opened my mouth it was obvious that I was a (GASP!) yankee! A good 6 or 7 strikes right there. So after a bit of small talk and trying unsuccessfully to find out what price range he was interested in I turned on a mid-priced unit. That happened to be tuned to the "oldies" rock station which was playing "Along Comes Mary" one of the original marijuana songs. So I said "maybe you like Country" and tuned to the local Big Country station. They were doing a commercial about some surplus store that was selling all of our products at 50 to 60 % off that they had bought from a store that had its roof collapse from some storm. The deputy thanked me and walked out. I did not last long in sales.
About a year later I was working at a local AM/FM station as a DJ until I showed up late for work one day. Suddenly I had some free time so the next Friday afternoon I drove down to Atlanta to visit a sometimes girl friend. I got there around 2 PM just as she was leaving to go to work at her second shift job. (DAMN! I had forgot about that!) So I desided to go to a "real" stereo store to see what they had. After a few minutes talking to the salesman some other guy walked in and I told the salesman to take care of him. He was wearing an expensive suit. He asked about some speaker and the saleman said that the unfinished ones were $1200 a pair and the finished ones were $1800 a pair. The guy wanted the finished ones. The salesman swallowed kinda hard and said they only had the unfinished ones. No sale. So the conversation drifted to amplifiers. The salesman said one amp was great because it had 600 watts per channel. The guy asked why he should buy a 1200 watt amp for his living room when ham radio operators could talk around the world with 100 watts. I admit I was impressed with the way the salesman danced aroud that one, altho I don't remember what he said. After some more technical stuff I told the other guy I was impressed with his knowledge and asked what his occupation was. He said "Electrical Engineer". Then they started talking about some receiver. The salesman bragged that it had only 0.0015% distortion. The guy asked why he should buy that unit when the FM stations were allowed to broadcast 2.5% distortion. The salesman did another elegant dance. I was impressed. I politely asked the guy who he worked for. He looked at me and said "The FCC". I nearly passed out. Eventually he and I started talking radio, closing time came and the salesman had us leave. Out in the parking lot the guy showed me The Car he drove, explained how they could pin point to within one house any ham, CB, etc. station they could hear from miles away and told me stories about "busts" that he had been on. I got back to her place after she did. That was one night talking to some guy I had never met before was more fun than spending the rest of the night with a lady I had known for years.
Another time I was in some stereo store and some salescritter (thanks Grey) was flapping his trap about why some stereo unit was better than another because the first one was new. He emphasized that he liked NEW stuff and did not like anything OLD. If he had not been such an *** I would have let him get away with that. But I (Mr. Smartmouth) said "I bet you hate to have sex in the missionary position. It has been done that way for hundreds of generations". The salescritter turned all shades of red. After that color show I turned and left.
This is fun. Keep the stories coming guys!
Stereo Rage
Good stories FEThead, and yes let's keep this going.
Another anecdote comes to mind, from past days working in a repair shop.
Anyway, one lunchtime I was at the front counter booking in some repairs, and several customers were queing for their turn, so I called out for one of my fellow technicians to come and help.
This colleague named Kim, was a big, friendly, laid back sort of guy, and the customer he came to was a mid 40's, uptight and premenstrual ball buster, and obviously in a hell of a hurry.
Kim took her personal details, and equipment details, and then politely asked what was wrong with her reciever.
She answered, "When I turn it on it hums - Do you know why it might be humming ?".
Kim smirked a little, leaned forward across the counter and laconically said "It probably doesn't know the words !"
You should have seen the look on her face, and steam issuing from her ears as she declared "I did not come here to be insulted", and of course to this everybody present, customers and staff, could not help but laugh out aloud.
With this, she picked up her reciever and stormed out of the shop, and prompltly tripped in her high heels on the footpath, and dashing her machine to pieces on the roadway.
Needless to say we did not see her again, and it kept the whole workshop giggling for the rest of the week.
I still chuckle about this one.
Regards, Eric.
Good stories FEThead, and yes let's keep this going.
Another anecdote comes to mind, from past days working in a repair shop.
Anyway, one lunchtime I was at the front counter booking in some repairs, and several customers were queing for their turn, so I called out for one of my fellow technicians to come and help.
This colleague named Kim, was a big, friendly, laid back sort of guy, and the customer he came to was a mid 40's, uptight and premenstrual ball buster, and obviously in a hell of a hurry.
Kim took her personal details, and equipment details, and then politely asked what was wrong with her reciever.
She answered, "When I turn it on it hums - Do you know why it might be humming ?".
Kim smirked a little, leaned forward across the counter and laconically said "It probably doesn't know the words !"
You should have seen the look on her face, and steam issuing from her ears as she declared "I did not come here to be insulted", and of course to this everybody present, customers and staff, could not help but laugh out aloud.
With this, she picked up her reciever and stormed out of the shop, and prompltly tripped in her high heels on the footpath, and dashing her machine to pieces on the roadway.
Needless to say we did not see her again, and it kept the whole workshop giggling for the rest of the week.
I still chuckle about this one.
Regards, Eric.
what about stupid cutomers?
One of my friends used to work at a nation-wide audio-video store installing car stereos.
One day this kid comes in and tells my friend that he wants to put a sub in his car. He said he had picked up an slightly used 300w sub at a swap meet for $25can. It was a Sony explode. He was still in high school so money was an issue. He wanted to buy an amp and do the install himself. So he picked up a decent amp and a few tips from my friend. My friend gave him the usual tips about putting the sub in a box and all that jazz. My friend asked him if he needed to buy a box. The kid looked a bit puzzled and explained that he already had a box...
So the next day the kid comes back telling my friend that he installed the sub and it sounds totally weak and crappy. He acknowledges the fact that it's a budget set-up, but it shouldn't sound THAT bad. He tells my friend that his car is parked out back...
They arrive at the car and my friend tells him to crank it up. My friend described the sound as "a trunk full of bees". My friend asks him if he mounted it in a box. The kid replies "yes". And did you bolt it to the box TIGHTLY? "Yes". My friend asks him to pop the trunk...
My friend said he literally almost peed his pants...
The kid had cut a hole in the cardboard that the sub came in and actually BOLTED THE SUB TO THE CARDBOARD BOX!!! The cardboard box, being very light and not at all airtight, was bouncing around in the trunk!!!
Eventually, my friend stopped laughing(which took some restraint) and helped the poor kid out...
Teenagers these days... (I'm 20 now, so I can say that)
One of my friends used to work at a nation-wide audio-video store installing car stereos.
One day this kid comes in and tells my friend that he wants to put a sub in his car. He said he had picked up an slightly used 300w sub at a swap meet for $25can. It was a Sony explode. He was still in high school so money was an issue. He wanted to buy an amp and do the install himself. So he picked up a decent amp and a few tips from my friend. My friend gave him the usual tips about putting the sub in a box and all that jazz. My friend asked him if he needed to buy a box. The kid looked a bit puzzled and explained that he already had a box...
So the next day the kid comes back telling my friend that he installed the sub and it sounds totally weak and crappy. He acknowledges the fact that it's a budget set-up, but it shouldn't sound THAT bad. He tells my friend that his car is parked out back...
They arrive at the car and my friend tells him to crank it up. My friend described the sound as "a trunk full of bees". My friend asks him if he mounted it in a box. The kid replies "yes". And did you bolt it to the box TIGHTLY? "Yes". My friend asks him to pop the trunk...
My friend said he literally almost peed his pants...
The kid had cut a hole in the cardboard that the sub came in and actually BOLTED THE SUB TO THE CARDBOARD BOX!!! The cardboard box, being very light and not at all airtight, was bouncing around in the trunk!!!
Eventually, my friend stopped laughing(which took some restraint) and helped the poor kid out...
Teenagers these days... (I'm 20 now, so I can say that)
Eeeeeediots
In the repair trade we call that a "Faulty Customer".
You can get away with calling them that to their face and they get the joke.
Regards, Eric.
BTW - Why is it mainly the wog boys (young italians) who bring in car audio for repair that has been reverse power wired, or shorted speaker runs ?
In the repair trade we call that a "Faulty Customer".
You can get away with calling them that to their face and they get the joke.
Regards, Eric.
BTW - Why is it mainly the wog boys (young italians) who bring in car audio for repair that has been reverse power wired, or shorted speaker runs ?
Faulty customer ....
All,
good, stories, ROTFLMAO indeed
Wish i cold contribute such but i cannot.
Back then, when i was working as a TT technician for a High-End & budget audio shop, the shop owner who indeed was and is a sales wiz (he indeed could convince an Eskimo grandma to buy a bikini ) was not comfortable with me talking to customers. Which was a bad thing after all as the majority of customers sniff out a competent person at once and crowd him with QQ. So, although i tried to backup anything my boss said, he still would not be happy with it, he knew my inability to lie and was uncomfortable with it (dead shure he would have replaced me, had he had access to a TT wiz with half my competence, but he hadn't). I literally had to fade backwards to the workshop as soon as a customers was approaching. but i did not enjoy most customers asking me QQ anyway as 9 out of 10 wanted to have their opinions backupped instead of getting serious advice.
I once attended a Linn dealer meeting together with a fellow employee and
pulledv a really stupid stunt. I had an SME V back then and was utterly satisfied with it, no Q. The Linn people wanted to hear from me that the Linn Ittok tonearm is better than the SME V and i should explain why i do not own a Linn TT
Well, i said, i have a DIY TT, prefer it, and prefer the Sumiko Premier MMT on it, vastly prefer the SME V. Bold me, isn't it?
As the Linn people were, hmmmmh, let's call it ideologized about their product, you can imagine i suddenly was the enemy's agent. Allthemore as it turned out at a contest before i really know how to make the Linn sing and few tricks were new for me. I repeatedly got bashings from my boss for that stunt.
When i was working for another store in Munich which sold High-End only, i got more of that stuff. In one case we visited the customer 300km ago. The customer had bought an Infinity Reference Standard IV speaker already. From us he bought a complete set of Cello preamp, XO/EQ, 6 mono power amps. Yes, and a phono cartridge (Koetsu Rosewood Sign.) and appropriate TT adjustment. He already had a big Transrotor Quintessence TT with a 30kg platter and an SME V. No idea where he got it from.
The room for the IRS IV was too small, we hardly could put 1 tower of 6 19"-wide Cello amps between the woofer columns. This speaker is a diploe, from midrange upwards. No way to adjust position. Well, sonics, i kept mouth shut completely and hoping noone, neither customer nor my 2 bosses (shop co-owners) would reckon the disgust pouring out of any of my orifices .....
The it came to TT setup. The phono cartridge was almost new, I had it had for test at home and i was positive it was a perfect sample. Not yet broken fully in however, but any one having experienced how a big Koetsu sings from the start and drives you happy-crazy can imagine how it should have contributed to a gorgeous total result. Instead, none of it !
The customer, seeing i was getting my sliding caliper for tonearm measurements an adjustments, intervened and asked me (should i say required me) to use his own sliding caliper which had a digital 0.01mm resolution display "because it has higher precision" ... just the caliper's battery was empty. Well, straight face, assuring him this is not a big issue, i know my thingiy quite well and can interpolate 0.01mm (in fact it was a mechanical dial caliper having the same resolution -- and no battery).
Then i took complete charge, asking the customer to help me here, adding a hand there just to keep him busy and from further interventions. I took the TT platter off because to me it seemed it had too much play (i could rattle the platter against the bearing shaft) Indeed, no grease on the shaft and any eventual oil from before already vaporized, a dry bearing. Not only that, the bearing gap had more than 0.15 mm, i almost could have shoved a toothpick into it. The bearing ball for the axial bearing was made from aluminium oxide ceramic, ok so far, but it had a lot of hair cracks already, and the trust pate was squeezed into pieces. I turned the ball to a postiion where heir cracks would not yet be and grind a hole into the trust plate, then i replaced the trust plate by a tiny piece of PTFE i have for such cases. I greased the shaft with graphite loaded grease which was found in the customer's workshop, hoping the grease would manage to fill the bearing gap.
Never had i seen such a bashed TT, and remember, this was $20.000 .- gear !
We made a first listening check with the guy's current cartridge and he seemed to be utterly pleased sonically by the TT fix.
So, so far i had managed to ignore the tonearm's condition. An SME V, i mentioned it. But this sample looked like someone had used wrong tools and applied extensive force, trying to compensate it. I found myself checking the gymbal bearing's condition, it being a proven fact among TT nuts back then that the SME V's bearings are indestroyable. But i doubted it, seeing this sample, seeing the scratches on it. Like someone had used the tonearm wand to stir around in a box full of chipboard screws to find a lost washer. I cleaned the arm, ground the worst scratches out and polished it to a shine.
I mounted the cartridge then, making the full voodoo of it, geometric alignment, AS, azimuth, VTA, TF, VTA again, TF again. Most of it by ear. Frequently asking the customers for his preferences. To the customers utter pleasure, exactly what he had expected, only better. Finally there was a tough moment as he asked me what i would think about the total result .. my bosses (knowing my usual honesty) growing pale, believe me. But i was alert and said to the customer: "highly subjective, question of taste,completely irrelevant what i say to it, you must must like it and you obvioulsy do".
And thus avoided any remark how foul the sonics were to me.
Was i glad when this job was over! Guarding my tongue was the worst f it. But this time i got a completely unexpected reward, the customer handed me an unopened bottle of Scotch single malt whisky (still remember, it was a Glenmorangie 10ys.old) and said to me "this is for you, understand, you don't share it", looking at my bosses. Obvioulsy he had expected the same voodoo from them, fine-tuning room acoustics, amplifiers, XO frequencies etc. and hadn't gotten it.
On our drive back, I mourned for the Koetsu (I could not have afforded it anyway and i just had bought a Sumiko DTi a few weeks ago). But you bet, i got another bashing from my bosses not satisfied how it went and about the role they played (and of course, they wanted the whisky). But this time, i did not swallow it. They hadn't realized how close they had been to mess the whole deal up. I had avoided to let the custmomer realize how bad his TT set-up's condition was, in fact it was "broken", and had fixed it, i had no bad conscience how i left it, i even had him made believe he has gorgeous sonics now. And he had bought (and paid via cheque immeditaly for) the whole stuff. Instead of handing it back. I came to realize by bosses were not aware of what i was doing all the time. As you can guess, my employment ended soon later.
One hint: better mix Glenmorangie (10ys.) with fresh Orange squash, whisky/squash 1/2 ratio, than drink it pure. This mix is a perfect match. For pure use i prefer Macallan and Springbanks, as old as possible.
All,
good, stories, ROTFLMAO indeed
Wish i cold contribute such but i cannot.
Back then, when i was working as a TT technician for a High-End & budget audio shop, the shop owner who indeed was and is a sales wiz (he indeed could convince an Eskimo grandma to buy a bikini
) was not comfortable with me talking to customers. Which was a bad thing after all as the majority of customers sniff out a competent person at once and crowd him with QQ. So, although i tried to backup anything my boss said, he still would not be happy with it, he knew my inability to lie and was uncomfortable with it (dead shure he would have replaced me, had he had access to a TT wiz with half my competence, but he hadn't). I literally had to fade backwards to the workshop as soon as a customers was approaching. but i did not enjoy most customers asking me QQ anyway as 9 out of 10 wanted to have their opinions backupped instead of getting serious advice.I once attended a Linn dealer meeting together with a fellow employee and
pulledv a really stupid stunt. I had an SME V back then and was utterly satisfied with it, no Q. The Linn people wanted to hear from me that the Linn Ittok tonearm is better than the SME V and i should explain why i do not own a Linn TT
Well, i said, i have a DIY TT, prefer it, and prefer the Sumiko Premier MMT on it, vastly prefer the SME V. Bold me, isn't it?
As the Linn people were, hmmmmh, let's call it ideologized about their product, you can imagine i suddenly was the enemy's agent. Allthemore as it turned out at a contest before i really know how to make the Linn sing and few tricks were new for me. I repeatedly got bashings from my boss for that stunt.
When i was working for another store in Munich which sold High-End only, i got more of that stuff. In one case we visited the customer 300km ago. The customer had bought an Infinity Reference Standard IV speaker already. From us he bought a complete set of Cello preamp, XO/EQ, 6 mono power amps. Yes, and a phono cartridge (Koetsu Rosewood Sign.) and appropriate TT adjustment. He already had a big Transrotor Quintessence TT with a 30kg platter and an SME V. No idea where he got it from.
The room for the IRS IV was too small, we hardly could put 1 tower of 6 19"-wide Cello amps between the woofer columns. This speaker is a diploe, from midrange upwards. No way to adjust position. Well, sonics, i kept mouth shut completely and hoping noone, neither customer nor my 2 bosses (shop co-owners) would reckon the disgust pouring out of any of my orifices .....
The it came to TT setup. The phono cartridge was almost new, I had it had for test at home and i was positive it was a perfect sample. Not yet broken fully in however, but any one having experienced how a big Koetsu sings from the start and drives you happy-crazy can imagine how it should have contributed to a gorgeous total result. Instead, none of it !
The customer, seeing i was getting my sliding caliper for tonearm measurements an adjustments, intervened and asked me (should i say required me) to use his own sliding caliper which had a digital 0.01mm resolution display "because it has higher precision" ... just the caliper's battery was empty. Well, straight face, assuring him this is not a big issue, i know my thingiy quite well and can interpolate 0.01mm (in fact it was a mechanical dial caliper having the same resolution -- and no battery).
Then i took complete charge, asking the customer to help me here, adding a hand there just to keep him busy and from further interventions. I took the TT platter off because to me it seemed it had too much play (i could rattle the platter against the bearing shaft) Indeed, no grease on the shaft and any eventual oil from before already vaporized, a dry bearing. Not only that, the bearing gap had more than 0.15 mm, i almost could have shoved a toothpick into it. The bearing ball for the axial bearing was made from aluminium oxide ceramic, ok so far, but it had a lot of hair cracks already, and the trust pate was squeezed into pieces. I turned the ball to a postiion where heir cracks would not yet be and grind a hole into the trust plate, then i replaced the trust plate by a tiny piece of PTFE i have for such cases. I greased the shaft with graphite loaded grease which was found in the customer's workshop, hoping the grease would manage to fill the bearing gap.
Never had i seen such a bashed TT, and remember, this was $20.000 .- gear !
We made a first listening check with the guy's current cartridge and he seemed to be utterly pleased sonically by the TT fix.
So, so far i had managed to ignore the tonearm's condition. An SME V, i mentioned it. But this sample looked like someone had used wrong tools and applied extensive force, trying to compensate it. I found myself checking the gymbal bearing's condition, it being a proven fact among TT nuts back then that the SME V's bearings are indestroyable. But i doubted it, seeing this sample, seeing the scratches on it. Like someone had used the tonearm wand to stir around in a box full of chipboard screws to find a lost washer. I cleaned the arm, ground the worst scratches out and polished it to a shine.
I mounted the cartridge then, making the full voodoo of it, geometric alignment, AS, azimuth, VTA, TF, VTA again, TF again. Most of it by ear. Frequently asking the customers for his preferences. To the customers utter pleasure, exactly what he had expected, only better. Finally there was a tough moment as he asked me what i would think about the total result .. my bosses (knowing my usual honesty) growing pale, believe me. But i was alert and said to the customer: "highly subjective, question of taste,completely irrelevant what i say to it, you must must like it and you obvioulsy do".
And thus avoided any remark how foul the sonics were to me.
Was i glad when this job was over! Guarding my tongue was the worst f it. But this time i got a completely unexpected reward, the customer handed me an unopened bottle of Scotch single malt whisky (still remember, it was a Glenmorangie 10ys.old) and said to me "this is for you, understand, you don't share it", looking at my bosses. Obvioulsy he had expected the same voodoo from them, fine-tuning room acoustics, amplifiers, XO frequencies etc. and hadn't gotten it.
On our drive back, I mourned for the Koetsu (I could not have afforded it anyway and i just had bought a Sumiko DTi a few weeks ago). But you bet, i got another bashing from my bosses not satisfied how it went and about the role they played (and of course, they wanted the whisky). But this time, i did not swallow it. They hadn't realized how close they had been to mess the whole deal up. I had avoided to let the custmomer realize how bad his TT set-up's condition was, in fact it was "broken", and had fixed it, i had no bad conscience how i left it, i even had him made believe he has gorgeous sonics now. And he had bought (and paid via cheque immeditaly for) the whole stuff. Instead of handing it back. I came to realize by bosses were not aware of what i was doing all the time. As you can guess, my employment ended soon later.
One hint: better mix Glenmorangie (10ys.) with fresh Orange squash, whisky/squash 1/2 ratio, than drink it pure. This mix is a perfect match. For pure use i prefer Macallan and Springbanks, as old as possible.
more DUHmb customers
After I made the above post I remembered a few more incedents that happened when I was working in the store mentioned in the first paragraph. In that general area people did not have much use for "noledge". One day an older, um, gentleman wandered into the store and announced that he was looking for a transistor. The manager smiled nicely and led the man to the back wall where we had about two square yards of transistors neatly packed and displayed. "Those aren't transistors!" snorted the customer who then walked around the store in a huff until he found what he wanted. He plopped a 9 V battery on the counter and said: "THAT is a transistor!"
Other fun customers would look at a protable radio and asked if it ran on batteries or electricity.
Another customer came in and wanted a speaker. You know, one of those things that you speak into. The manager, who had the patience of Job, politely sold him a microphone.
I am SO glad I don't live in that area anymore!
After I made the above post I remembered a few more incedents that happened when I was working in the store mentioned in the first paragraph. In that general area people did not have much use for "noledge". One day an older, um, gentleman wandered into the store and announced that he was looking for a transistor. The manager smiled nicely and led the man to the back wall where we had about two square yards of transistors neatly packed and displayed. "Those aren't transistors!" snorted the customer who then walked around the store in a huff until he found what he wanted. He plopped a 9 V battery on the counter and said: "THAT is a transistor!"
Other fun customers would look at a protable radio and asked if it ran on batteries or electricity.
Another customer came in and wanted a speaker. You know, one of those things that you speak into. The manager, who had the patience of Job, politely sold him a microphone.
I am SO glad I don't live in that area anymore!
Requests for brand names that I've heard in my salesman days:
Yanko-Onkyo
Fine ear-Pioneer(almost some misguided logic to that one)
Bose and Olufson
I once had a charming elderly woman come in and listen to a table radio. After a few seconds she admitted that it did sound wonderfull but asked if the sound could be made more..."mellow"?
The radio had no tone controls I explained. This seemed to perplex her. She strugled for a few seconds apparently searching for a way to rephrase the question. "You mean I can't adjust the, mellowness? It seems a little (pause) aggressive".
Now I was confused. The station I was using was a classical music station and I had fortuitously caught a laid back DeBussy piano piece that really seemed ,in my mind, to show the product in a favorable light. I explained that it was intended to be a pretty simple product, on-off, station presets, etc. and that's it.
She asked rhetorically "isn't adjustment of the "mellowness" a rather important feature?" She seemed at this point to be caught between liking every other aspect of the product but not able to reconcile the purchase due to the lack of adjustability of the "mellowness". We fell into a polite silence. This was obviously a serious flaw in the design of the product. I began mentally patting myself on the back for brown bagging lunch that day because this was clearly a no-sale situation.
Just then her friend walked up and greeted us saying "That sounds so wonderfull! Can I turn it down though, it's just the tiniest bit loud for me?" I explained "Of course! You can adjust the volume on the radio or on the handy remote control".
At this my customer lit up and exclaimed "You mean I CAN adjust the...volume(still unsure of the new word)!?" She was thrilled!
A second later both of us silently smiled at each other in a way that wordlessly communicated "you meant VOLUME?" and "Yes, I meant VOLUME!".
I got my double cheesburger that day afterall.
Timo.
Yanko-Onkyo
Fine ear-Pioneer(almost some misguided logic to that one)
Bose and Olufson
I once had a charming elderly woman come in and listen to a table radio. After a few seconds she admitted that it did sound wonderfull but asked if the sound could be made more..."mellow"?
The radio had no tone controls I explained. This seemed to perplex her. She strugled for a few seconds apparently searching for a way to rephrase the question. "You mean I can't adjust the, mellowness? It seems a little (pause) aggressive".
Now I was confused. The station I was using was a classical music station and I had fortuitously caught a laid back DeBussy piano piece that really seemed ,in my mind, to show the product in a favorable light. I explained that it was intended to be a pretty simple product, on-off, station presets, etc. and that's it.
She asked rhetorically "isn't adjustment of the "mellowness" a rather important feature?" She seemed at this point to be caught between liking every other aspect of the product but not able to reconcile the purchase due to the lack of adjustability of the "mellowness". We fell into a polite silence. This was obviously a serious flaw in the design of the product. I began mentally patting myself on the back for brown bagging lunch that day because this was clearly a no-sale situation.
Just then her friend walked up and greeted us saying "That sounds so wonderfull! Can I turn it down though, it's just the tiniest bit loud for me?" I explained "Of course! You can adjust the volume on the radio or on the handy remote control".
At this my customer lit up and exclaimed "You mean I CAN adjust the...volume(still unsure of the new word)!?" She was thrilled!
A second later both of us silently smiled at each other in a way that wordlessly communicated "you meant VOLUME?" and "Yes, I meant VOLUME!".
I got my double cheesburger that day afterall.
Timo.
hehe, if you wana funny salesperson experience, walk into any bose store, and tell em what you got. they will claim theirs will blow you away. i told them once what i had (PSB Image series), and they immediately said "well, you will be just blown away by our speakers! (she was like 16 and had NEVER EVER heard of PSB, im sure of it...) needless to say i had to go home an listen to my system intently for 2 hours to wash away the 5 minutes i had to listen to those things.
another funny story, forgot about this one...
i was in circuit city one day looking at subs (hint to everyone, they carry velodyne, and every 2 months, they sell their demos for like 30% off, and most of the time they are immaculate). but anyways, i was checking them out, and he couldnt get the thing to play... it just wasnt working. so, we both fiddled around with the inputs, etc, etc, etc, and that little control panel thing that switches speakers, etc.. well, to make a long story short, we both learned an important lesson.
after trying many combos, i click on the amp and the store goes pitch black. no sh**... we are sitting there, i turn on the amp i wanted to use, and the ENTIRE circuit city goes off, and the security lights come on. right before it happened, we heard one of those sounds like in the movies, when a huge transformer or something electrically drains and turns off.
i made one of those "oops, did i do that?" looks, and security escorted everyone out of the store. (all the security sensors and cameras went off too.) hehe.
another funny story, forgot about this one...
i was in circuit city one day looking at subs (hint to everyone, they carry velodyne, and every 2 months, they sell their demos for like 30% off, and most of the time they are immaculate). but anyways, i was checking them out, and he couldnt get the thing to play... it just wasnt working. so, we both fiddled around with the inputs, etc, etc, etc, and that little control panel thing that switches speakers, etc.. well, to make a long story short, we both learned an important lesson.
after trying many combos, i click on the amp and the store goes pitch black. no sh**... we are sitting there, i turn on the amp i wanted to use, and the ENTIRE circuit city goes off, and the security lights come on. right before it happened, we heard one of those sounds like in the movies, when a huge transformer or something electrically drains and turns off.
i made one of those "oops, did i do that?" looks, and security escorted everyone out of the store. (all the security sensors and cameras went off too.) hehe.
speaking of salesmen - can you think of anyone on earth more patronisingly arrogant?
My favourite game is to go into a "hi-fi" store and ask something like;
"that's a nice set of speakers, but does it have a high multi-phase impedance arc signature?"
some typical replies are;
"ah yes sir it is one of out more expensive amps and has a very high, erm, one of those..."
It's rare to find a salesman who will admit (in my experience) that they don't have a clue and they only took the job for the huge discount (30-50%!) not to mention the commision on crap like Bose.
My favourite game is to go into a "hi-fi" store and ask something like;
"that's a nice set of speakers, but does it have a high multi-phase impedance arc signature?"
some typical replies are;
"ah yes sir it is one of out more expensive amps and has a very high, erm, one of those..."
It's rare to find a salesman who will admit (in my experience) that they don't have a clue and they only took the job for the huge discount (30-50%!) not to mention the commision on crap like Bose.
This happened a couple years ago, can't remember the model of speakers (just the brand), but it's short and sweet, so I thought I'd post it. Perfect example of someone not really being in touch with their products, and why the customers want them.
I'm in a high end stereo/video store, top brands, really nice equipment, walking around, playing with stuff, having a salesman let me watch movies. Part of our conversation:
Me: You've got some Thiels over there, do you have the new [insert model, can't remember]?
Him: Yeah, we've got them.
Me: What do you think?
Him: Well, it's like pushing a truck uphill. They're not very loud...
I'm in a high end stereo/video store, top brands, really nice equipment, walking around, playing with stuff, having a salesman let me watch movies. Part of our conversation:
Me: You've got some Thiels over there, do you have the new [insert model, can't remember]?
Him: Yeah, we've got them.
Me: What do you think?
Him: Well, it's like pushing a truck uphill. They're not very loud...
Back when there were a lot of high-end audio stores in the Detroit area, I generally found the sales people to be relatively knowledgeable about what they were selling. But they weren't always the the most polite people in the world
So, I was sitting for my 3 year old niece and had to do some running around. I stopped in at one of the mid to high-end audio stores to pickup some connectors and maybe get a listen at the new Beveridge speakers they had just gotten in. So I was standing with my niece by a wall of mid-fi amps and receivers in the main sales area, waiting for service. There were only a few other customers in the store and I waited as my niece kept trying to get away. After one particular salesmen, who didn't seem to be doing anything in particular, caught eye contact with me for the third time and egnored me, I decided I've waited long enough. I let my niece go and pluged my ears. She did not disappoint me. She made a B-line for the wall of mid-fi and started to play NASA space center. The sounds that came from that store were frightening
It took about 4 seconds, and I had 3 salesmen waiting on me hand and foot.
"Ah, yes I was interested in some...."
Rodd Yamas***a
So, I was sitting for my 3 year old niece and had to do some running around. I stopped in at one of the mid to high-end audio stores to pickup some connectors and maybe get a listen at the new Beveridge speakers they had just gotten in. So I was standing with my niece by a wall of mid-fi amps and receivers in the main sales area, waiting for service. There were only a few other customers in the store and I waited as my niece kept trying to get away. After one particular salesmen, who didn't seem to be doing anything in particular, caught eye contact with me for the third time and egnored me, I decided I've waited long enough. I let my niece go and pluged my ears. She did not disappoint me. She made a B-line for the wall of mid-fi and started to play NASA space center. The sounds that came from that store were frightening
It took about 4 seconds, and I had 3 salesmen waiting on me hand and foot."Ah, yes I was interested in some...."
Rodd Yamas***a
i had a very scary experience today that i thought i would just share...
i had a guy come in the store and was just looking around. i approached him just to see if he was looking for anything special. he pulled a book out of his bag and showed it to me. it was some finance almanac or something... he was mumbling quite a bit and i couldnt really make much out. all i heard was "here is the URL you guys need". he turned to the middle of the book and showed me this supposed "URL" which was really a full page worth of scribblings with the word "URL" like 4 times. then he says "i have my special passcode, do you want yours?". being COMPLETELY curious i said yes. he pulls out an AOL cd and shows me his "passcode" (the username for the free month or whatever), and then shows me "my" passcode, which is another one of the signup numbers.
i finally get away from the freak. later that day i see him back in the store on one of our computers. he was trying to install AOL (we dont have internet though). later that day after he left, i went to the computer to find every single damn thing from the AOL disc installed on there as well as the ENTIRE screen filled with new folders, all empty... he had 104 of them, all empty, and each one created individually...
he even showed one of my co-workers a picture of his dead dog spot, which was actually just a 404 screen he got when trying to install AOL...
top that.
i had a guy come in the store and was just looking around. i approached him just to see if he was looking for anything special. he pulled a book out of his bag and showed it to me. it was some finance almanac or something... he was mumbling quite a bit and i couldnt really make much out. all i heard was "here is the URL you guys need". he turned to the middle of the book and showed me this supposed "URL" which was really a full page worth of scribblings with the word "URL" like 4 times. then he says "i have my special passcode, do you want yours?". being COMPLETELY curious i said yes. he pulls out an AOL cd and shows me his "passcode" (the username for the free month or whatever), and then shows me "my" passcode, which is another one of the signup numbers.
i finally get away from the freak. later that day i see him back in the store on one of our computers. he was trying to install AOL (we dont have internet though). later that day after he left, i went to the computer to find every single damn thing from the AOL disc installed on there as well as the ENTIRE screen filled with new folders, all empty... he had 104 of them, all empty, and each one created individually...
he even showed one of my co-workers a picture of his dead dog spot, which was actually just a 404 screen he got when trying to install AOL...
top that.
I heard the other day that Jason Bloom of Apogee passed away. Now that he is gone, as is the company he worked at, and the store this happened at, here goes:
About 10 years ago, a local store was having a grand reopening, and Apogee was one of the many high-end companies who came to show off their latest stuff.
The store technician called me in the afternoon before the big event was supposed to start. Apogee had shipped their new, big system, which had an active crossover, and ran around $10K. That was really high back then. The crossover was balanced in and out, but converted to single ended to do the crossover, and then back to balanced out. Some of the ICs that performed this function smoked on turn-on, so they were panicking. So they called me hoping that I would have some.
Turns out that I had some, but not all, of the chips that they needed. I explained to Jason that I could get it working good enough for a demo, but that the levels would be off because of the way I had to rig it to work.
"What do you mean......off.....?"
"The bass level will be hot."
"Hot? What? How much? Explain." He was getting nervous.
"Well, the bass level will be higher than the rest of the system. Hard to say exactly, I could have told you if I brought my RTA, but I didn't. So the best that I can do is guess, and my guess is at least 6 dB, maybe 10 dB. Could even be more. Hard to say, just be assured that it will be too high."
"******* 'em. They want bass, we'll give them bass. Turn the *******er wide open. They'll get their *******' bass."
So I did..............
The big demo record back then was the soundtrack from the movie, "Glory". You remember the one with the big bass drum "ka-boom" in the opening passages. I was at the far end of the store, talking to Tony Federici, listening to him explain how his dad cut the big toe off one of his feet in the late 30's to get out of the Italian army, and therefore, the impending war. Suddenly, the entire building shook.
"What the hell was that"?
"Jason's speakers. I fixed the crossover."
"Then fix the *******' bass level. I can't demo my stuff with him causing a *******' earthquake at the other end."
"Hey, he wanted bass......all that I could give him. So I gave it to him."
I wandered up to that end of the store, anxious to see how Jason liked his new earthquake machine. The demo ended, none too soon I might add, and some putz walked out, looking like he was in a state of shock.
"I.......I......I.........never heard bass like that before........ That was.....unbelievable. I don't know how I will ever be able to go back home and listen to my Maggies. They don't make bass like that. Wow.....that was really impressive."
Jason was standing in the corner, with a Cheshire cat grin. He knew that he found a live one, and that there was no way that guy was going home without one. He walked slowly over to me, put his arms around my shoulder, and said:
"Hey, you are alright. You make sure to stop by our booth at the next CES, and look me up. I'll take care of you. Anything you want, any time, you just call the office and ask for me. You earned it. I went from a wasted trip to selling a complete system to some schnook thanks to you." He continued to grin from ear to ear.
I have no idea what that guy ended up doing once he set up his new speakers.........put that soundtrack on......turned up the volume.......just waiting for his house to shake and impress his rich audio dork friends....and................
Nothing. Just regular old bass.....just like his Maggies. I bet he spent enormous quantities of time and money on new amps, preamps, cables, interconnects, voodoo digital clocks, and who knows what else trying to regain that experience. All in vain. Just because some little weasel (no, not Jason......me), mucked up the levels. Bet they never figured it out. And since the dealer never knew, he could neither blame me, or thank me for all the business. Take your pick.
Jocko
About 10 years ago, a local store was having a grand reopening, and Apogee was one of the many high-end companies who came to show off their latest stuff.
The store technician called me in the afternoon before the big event was supposed to start. Apogee had shipped their new, big system, which had an active crossover, and ran around $10K. That was really high back then. The crossover was balanced in and out, but converted to single ended to do the crossover, and then back to balanced out. Some of the ICs that performed this function smoked on turn-on, so they were panicking. So they called me hoping that I would have some.
Turns out that I had some, but not all, of the chips that they needed. I explained to Jason that I could get it working good enough for a demo, but that the levels would be off because of the way I had to rig it to work.
"What do you mean......off.....?"
"The bass level will be hot."
"Hot? What? How much? Explain." He was getting nervous.
"Well, the bass level will be higher than the rest of the system. Hard to say exactly, I could have told you if I brought my RTA, but I didn't. So the best that I can do is guess, and my guess is at least 6 dB, maybe 10 dB. Could even be more. Hard to say, just be assured that it will be too high."
"******* 'em. They want bass, we'll give them bass. Turn the *******er wide open. They'll get their *******' bass."
So I did..............
The big demo record back then was the soundtrack from the movie, "Glory". You remember the one with the big bass drum "ka-boom" in the opening passages. I was at the far end of the store, talking to Tony Federici, listening to him explain how his dad cut the big toe off one of his feet in the late 30's to get out of the Italian army, and therefore, the impending war. Suddenly, the entire building shook.
"What the hell was that"?
"Jason's speakers. I fixed the crossover."
"Then fix the *******' bass level. I can't demo my stuff with him causing a *******' earthquake at the other end."
"Hey, he wanted bass......all that I could give him. So I gave it to him."
I wandered up to that end of the store, anxious to see how Jason liked his new earthquake machine. The demo ended, none too soon I might add, and some putz walked out, looking like he was in a state of shock.
"I.......I......I.........never heard bass like that before........ That was.....unbelievable. I don't know how I will ever be able to go back home and listen to my Maggies. They don't make bass like that. Wow.....that was really impressive."
Jason was standing in the corner, with a Cheshire cat grin. He knew that he found a live one, and that there was no way that guy was going home without one. He walked slowly over to me, put his arms around my shoulder, and said:
"Hey, you are alright. You make sure to stop by our booth at the next CES, and look me up. I'll take care of you. Anything you want, any time, you just call the office and ask for me. You earned it. I went from a wasted trip to selling a complete system to some schnook thanks to you." He continued to grin from ear to ear.
I have no idea what that guy ended up doing once he set up his new speakers.........put that soundtrack on......turned up the volume.......just waiting for his house to shake and impress his rich audio dork friends....and................
Nothing. Just regular old bass.....just like his Maggies. I bet he spent enormous quantities of time and money on new amps, preamps, cables, interconnects, voodoo digital clocks, and who knows what else trying to regain that experience. All in vain. Just because some little weasel (no, not Jason......me), mucked up the levels. Bet they never figured it out. And since the dealer never knew, he could neither blame me, or thank me for all the business. Take your pick.
Jocko
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