ingrast said:
hehe. nice.
i heard this one back when i was in engineering school... (not sure if its already on here, but its still good)
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked,
"What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, and that I’ll
stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss
me?" The engineer said, "Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool."
not engineir huhmer
in what way, are female breast, and model trains alike?
both are made for childern, but men usally play with them-
http://www.nmra.org/
in what way, are female breast, and model trains alike?
both are made for childern, but men usally play with them-
http://www.nmra.org/
Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
An engineer, surgeon and salesman were walking their dogs in Central Park. The dogs catch site of a pile of bones and run to them.
The engineer's dog builds a model bridge with his alotment of bones, the surgeon's dog rebuilds a skeleton from his bones, the salesman's dog eats all the bones, has doggy carnal relations with the other two dogs, then takes the afternoon off.
The engineer's dog builds a model bridge with his alotment of bones, the surgeon's dog rebuilds a skeleton from his bones, the salesman's dog eats all the bones, has doggy carnal relations with the other two dogs, then takes the afternoon off.
Don't remember it very well so I took some licenses
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer and a software engineer were on a trip along a country road when the engine died cold.
They step down, open the hood and ponder what to do.
- There must be water in the fuel, we must purge the tank and we'll be done. Says the chemical engineer.
- No, sure it is the fuel pump, I will dismatle and fix it. Says the mechanical engineer.
The software engineer silently goes back into the driver seat, closes all the windows and opens them again, cranks the starter and the motor fires up normally.
- What have you done to fix it ? Asked the chemical and mechanical engineer in surprise.
- I do this every time in my job, responded the software engineer, - and allways works, mostly.
Rodolfo
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer and a software engineer were on a trip along a country road when the engine died cold.
They step down, open the hood and ponder what to do.
- There must be water in the fuel, we must purge the tank and we'll be done. Says the chemical engineer.
- No, sure it is the fuel pump, I will dismatle and fix it. Says the mechanical engineer.
The software engineer silently goes back into the driver seat, closes all the windows and opens them again, cranks the starter and the motor fires up normally.
- What have you done to fix it ? Asked the chemical and mechanical engineer in surprise.
- I do this every time in my job, responded the software engineer, - and allways works, mostly.
Rodolfo
Enjoying a joke
The biology teacher tells the class
"Today, I am going to show u a live frog"
and puts his hand in the pocket and keeps the contents on to the table infront of him
He is surprised that it is not a frog but a small bread
Then the teacher surprisingly says
"Oh! Then what did I have for my breakfast?
Most of the students laugh a lot but one...I don't recollect the name
This one asks the teacher
How is it possible?
U couldn't taste the difference...
U couldn't feel the movement...
and so on
Motto of the story
Just enjoy a joke, don't think over it and be happy.
If u didn't understand a joke at that moment, laugh at the time u did
but laugh and be happy
Preceding is just a joke
Enjoy
Gajanan Phadte
The biology teacher tells the class
"Today, I am going to show u a live frog"
and puts his hand in the pocket and keeps the contents on to the table infront of him
He is surprised that it is not a frog but a small bread
Then the teacher surprisingly says
"Oh! Then what did I have for my breakfast?
Most of the students laugh a lot but one...I don't recollect the name
This one asks the teacher
How is it possible?
U couldn't taste the difference...
U couldn't feel the movement...
and so on
Motto of the story
Just enjoy a joke, don't think over it and be happy.
If u didn't understand a joke at that moment, laugh at the time u did
but laugh and be happy
Preceding is just a joke
Enjoy
Gajanan Phadte
Star882,
I know jokes aren't to be explained, but I think it's becaue of the way guys think. (or what they think with, according to some women.
)
Personally, I understand the joke as follows: The "recreational area" is about 10 cm below where a belt would hold the pants.
The toxic waste system is because most pee from there.
Jennice
I know jokes aren't to be explained, but I think it's becaue of the way guys think. (or what they think with, according to some women.
)Personally, I understand the joke as follows: The "recreational area" is about 10 cm below where a belt would hold the pants.
The toxic waste system is because most pee from there.
Jennice
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