In the context of TheGimp's situation, you have made an extremely valuable contribution by saying this. Thank you.
Where my wife and I live, we have our own private water supply that comes from a well on the side of a hill a few hundred yards away from our croft. On the other side of the hill is a large loch (lake) about three miles away on higher ground. Our water is filtered through the fractured rock in between. It is a mixture of rain water and fossil water, and is completely free of chlorine or any noxious chemicals. It is a bit hard, so we filter it through charcoal. Other than that, it is the purest sweetest water imaginable, and we both believe it has helped her treatment for cancer, and the process of recovery.
All of the body's biochemical reactions take place within water. We are made up from something like 98% water. It takes about 90 days for the human body to replace every molecule of water.
My advise is to procure a clean supply of drinking water. A positive change in your wife's personal biosphere like this cannot do any conceivable harm, and will most certainly help her.
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My wife's family suffers from a genetically dominant kidney disease -- Polycystic Kidney Disease. She was fortunate to receive a transplant from my sister -- an interesting aspect of immune response and rejection is that a married couple's immune systems gradually liken unto each other and that's why the transplant worked. She also was enrolled in a clinical study which knocked out her B-cells, increasing the likelihood that the kidney wouldn't be rejected. The clinical study is now SOP. Two nephews with PKD have also received succesful transplants, one was performed at Columbia Pres in NYC, the other at Mayo Clinic in MN.
There is a constant regimen of meds taken every 12-hours, and her diet while not restricted, prevents her from consuming things like lamb, duck, many fishes.
There is a constant regimen of meds taken every 12-hours, and her diet while not restricted, prevents her from consuming things like lamb, duck, many fishes.
I have been a full time caregiver for almost five years now.
It started with caring for my father who died of terminal lung cancer, and in order to get the treatment he needed, I became his medical advocate. At the same time, my wife became seriously ill and collapsed with a stroke caused by an subdural aneurysm behind her left eye the size of an egg. While she was undergoing neurosurgery to fit a stent, she was diagnosed with type B breast cancer. It took her 6 months to recover from neurosurgery before the onset of cancer treatment, and the hormonal therapy to hold the cancer tumours in stasis went on to trigger rapid and severe calcium loss which has now lead to her needing a hip replacement. To date, she has been on a waiting list for 15 months to get this vital operation. Her cancer treatment was to have a radical mastectomy, followed by a lumpectomy to remove cancerous lymph nodes. She then had chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy.
This all happened four and five years ago. This year, during a routine mammogram, it was found that she had precancerous cells in her remaining breast, a brand new primary highly aggressive type A cancer. After two operations to remove malignant tissue, she now needs to have a second mastectomy. The good news is she doesn't need to further undergo either chemo or radiotherapy. Need I say anything more?
There is no right or wrong in this. Life is what it is, and everything that happens to you - happens to you - and nobody else. However, there is good in all of this - even though there are times so dark and bleak it seems almost impossible to see clearly enough to move forward. But we do, we simply have no choice. I am a better human being than I was five years ago. The world is full of kindness. I live one day at a time to the max, and am utterly determined to fulfill my own destiny.
So, in respect to the concerns of TheGimp, there is a limit to what I can say about medical matters. Cancer is complicated, and treatment is dependent on where we live. What I can and will talk about is from the perspective of a caregiver looking after a wife who has now ongoing further treatment for breast cancer - and to address her concerns as a woman.
It's been a long day, I now need to take a break, and will write again later this evening.
It started with caring for my father who died of terminal lung cancer, and in order to get the treatment he needed, I became his medical advocate. At the same time, my wife became seriously ill and collapsed with a stroke caused by an subdural aneurysm behind her left eye the size of an egg. While she was undergoing neurosurgery to fit a stent, she was diagnosed with type B breast cancer. It took her 6 months to recover from neurosurgery before the onset of cancer treatment, and the hormonal therapy to hold the cancer tumours in stasis went on to trigger rapid and severe calcium loss which has now lead to her needing a hip replacement. To date, she has been on a waiting list for 15 months to get this vital operation. Her cancer treatment was to have a radical mastectomy, followed by a lumpectomy to remove cancerous lymph nodes. She then had chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy.
This all happened four and five years ago. This year, during a routine mammogram, it was found that she had precancerous cells in her remaining breast, a brand new primary highly aggressive type A cancer. After two operations to remove malignant tissue, she now needs to have a second mastectomy. The good news is she doesn't need to further undergo either chemo or radiotherapy. Need I say anything more?
There is no right or wrong in this. Life is what it is, and everything that happens to you - happens to you - and nobody else. However, there is good in all of this - even though there are times so dark and bleak it seems almost impossible to see clearly enough to move forward. But we do, we simply have no choice. I am a better human being than I was five years ago. The world is full of kindness. I live one day at a time to the max, and am utterly determined to fulfill my own destiny.
So, in respect to the concerns of TheGimp, there is a limit to what I can say about medical matters. Cancer is complicated, and treatment is dependent on where we live. What I can and will talk about is from the perspective of a caregiver looking after a wife who has now ongoing further treatment for breast cancer - and to address her concerns as a woman.
It's been a long day, I now need to take a break, and will write again later this evening.
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It sounds like she's been put on a similar regime to what my mother had a couple of years ago. Monoclonal antibodies + actual chemo/poison agents.
Dosing is important and at this stage they will not know what your former wife can cope with, they will just be giving the recommended, guideline dose of everything. My mother was finding things a bit too hard so they decide to reduce the amount of one of the chemo agents and that sorted things out nicely. So if things do become too difficult this is an option, it also depends on how well she is responding to the treatment in terms of tumour size reduction. My mother responded really well, so maybe they were less concerned with lowering a dose with her.
Nausea is a big concern. As has been said before, anti-nausea drugs are available, so make sure that these are prescribed. They didn't, however, work so well with my mother. This was because her nausea was being caused by an excess of stomach acid. Proton pump inhibitors were prescribed and this helped tremendously.
Food is important, but more important are fluids. There were some days when my mother ate next to nothing, so fluids are important. Be careful with carbonated drinks as the fizzy, into an empty stomach, can make you feel nauseous. Ice cold, still water was the best for my mum during these times, followed by whatever else she could sip down that actually contained calories. So many drinks these days have their sugar reduced + sweeteners. This is not what you want! So be careful about what you buy.
The mouth soreness is a pain so be careful of rough/sharp/acidic foods. Also things like boiled sweets that can damage the mouth or make you susceptible to cuts (sharp bits of the sweets) or ulceration. White bread, instead of wholemeal is a lot easier to eat and kinder on the mouth. Soups, broths, yoghurt, custard, if cold isn't a problem then ice cream. If you can put a dash of double cream on top of ice cream, or stir in a bit to custard/yoghurt it will help to keep the calories up.
Artificially flavoured foods with zing added can be a life saver as they help to punch through the altered taste.
Basically it's a case of giving them whatever they will/can eat. They won't have an appetite so eating is a force of will. You make this easier by making the food less objectionable. During the crap days it doens't matter what is eaten so long as something is, maximising the calories eaten is far more important than the actual quality of food, just whatever you can get down their neck.
As has been said, towards the end of the treatment cycle things will perk up. My mother then started to eat, somewhat, normally. This is the time for eating as much as is possible and taking on foods which are nutritionally important, as well as supplements, if needed.
One other thing is irritability. The chemo will affect the persons state of mind. Not only because they are fed up with things but because that's what the drugs do. Even though this person knows you are caring for them and are genuinely grateful they will snap and say things every now and again. Things that are out of character and quite abrasive. Just let them go or walk away. Sometimes I'd go to my mother, just to hold her hand or give her a hug, and something caustic would come out and I'd be like 'okay so that's how it is at the moment' and leave her be.
During the up days and when they are on steroids it's important to try and give the person a bit of normality. If this is going to the park for a short walk, going out to a coffee shop or something, then make sure it is done. You obviously have to be careful of the time of day/time of week to make sure it's less busy with respect to catching something. I did catch a cold a couple of times during my mothers treatments and that basically meant staying away until I was better.
Make sure she knows what the tell-tale signs of a UTI are and to be on top of this immediately as it will require treatment. My mother had a few of them and our GP was amazing with the speed in which is pushed things through to get her the antibiotics she needed.
As good as the treatment staff/nurses/consultants are they are very busy with lots of patients. You need to be on top of everything that's going on too. Make sure everything you're being prescribed is the correct dose and duration. Her medication will change so you need to make sure, that when it does, she gets it. Sometimes the consultant may say, 'we'll do this next time', but the treatment staff wont have got the message! Or schedule a test and you won't have received the appointment when you thought you should, so chase it up straight away.
Dosing is important and at this stage they will not know what your former wife can cope with, they will just be giving the recommended, guideline dose of everything. My mother was finding things a bit too hard so they decide to reduce the amount of one of the chemo agents and that sorted things out nicely. So if things do become too difficult this is an option, it also depends on how well she is responding to the treatment in terms of tumour size reduction. My mother responded really well, so maybe they were less concerned with lowering a dose with her.
Nausea is a big concern. As has been said before, anti-nausea drugs are available, so make sure that these are prescribed. They didn't, however, work so well with my mother. This was because her nausea was being caused by an excess of stomach acid. Proton pump inhibitors were prescribed and this helped tremendously.
Food is important, but more important are fluids. There were some days when my mother ate next to nothing, so fluids are important. Be careful with carbonated drinks as the fizzy, into an empty stomach, can make you feel nauseous. Ice cold, still water was the best for my mum during these times, followed by whatever else she could sip down that actually contained calories. So many drinks these days have their sugar reduced + sweeteners. This is not what you want! So be careful about what you buy.
The mouth soreness is a pain so be careful of rough/sharp/acidic foods. Also things like boiled sweets that can damage the mouth or make you susceptible to cuts (sharp bits of the sweets) or ulceration. White bread, instead of wholemeal is a lot easier to eat and kinder on the mouth. Soups, broths, yoghurt, custard, if cold isn't a problem then ice cream. If you can put a dash of double cream on top of ice cream, or stir in a bit to custard/yoghurt it will help to keep the calories up.
Artificially flavoured foods with zing added can be a life saver as they help to punch through the altered taste.
Basically it's a case of giving them whatever they will/can eat. They won't have an appetite so eating is a force of will. You make this easier by making the food less objectionable. During the crap days it doens't matter what is eaten so long as something is, maximising the calories eaten is far more important than the actual quality of food, just whatever you can get down their neck.
As has been said, towards the end of the treatment cycle things will perk up. My mother then started to eat, somewhat, normally. This is the time for eating as much as is possible and taking on foods which are nutritionally important, as well as supplements, if needed.
One other thing is irritability. The chemo will affect the persons state of mind. Not only because they are fed up with things but because that's what the drugs do. Even though this person knows you are caring for them and are genuinely grateful they will snap and say things every now and again. Things that are out of character and quite abrasive. Just let them go or walk away. Sometimes I'd go to my mother, just to hold her hand or give her a hug, and something caustic would come out and I'd be like 'okay so that's how it is at the moment' and leave her be.
During the up days and when they are on steroids it's important to try and give the person a bit of normality. If this is going to the park for a short walk, going out to a coffee shop or something, then make sure it is done. You obviously have to be careful of the time of day/time of week to make sure it's less busy with respect to catching something. I did catch a cold a couple of times during my mothers treatments and that basically meant staying away until I was better.
Make sure she knows what the tell-tale signs of a UTI are and to be on top of this immediately as it will require treatment. My mother had a few of them and our GP was amazing with the speed in which is pushed things through to get her the antibiotics she needed.
As good as the treatment staff/nurses/consultants are they are very busy with lots of patients. You need to be on top of everything that's going on too. Make sure everything you're being prescribed is the correct dose and duration. Her medication will change so you need to make sure, that when it does, she gets it. Sometimes the consultant may say, 'we'll do this next time', but the treatment staff wont have got the message! Or schedule a test and you won't have received the appointment when you thought you should, so chase it up straight away.
It has admittedly been somewhat painful if not cathartic writing about my wife's cancer. The trauma of the past five years has taken its toll, in that at times it has seemed relentless, and there has been so much that I simply cannot and will not remember.
The biggest change I see in me is perhaps realising how women see themselves as women, and how much their identity as women is through their breasts, and their hair. The hair will grow back, but to lose a breast, or both breasts, is very hard to live with. It does not matter how young or old a woman is, it is devastating, for all manner of reasons. Some I'm simply not prepared to talk about.
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy affects everyone quite differently. Some suffer more than others, some seem hardly affected at all. Even so, the confusion and delirium caused can have a marked effect upon the sense of self and identity. But the surgery changes everything. A woman can be haunted by sensations from a phantom breast for years afterwards, and this is where women really need other women.
One of the kindest acts towards my wife was from a neighbour who gave her a teddy bear to hold under her armpit after her lumpectomy. It not only helped, but 'Ted' has become our faithful mascot on our dozens of long journeys to and from hospital appointments.
I know this might sound silly, but get your wife a teddy bear ........
I have also realised that women are at a 1 in 8 risk of getting breast cancer, and men also at similar odds of getting prostate cancer. My wife and I believe that there are environmental problems at the root of this, but who can say, and does it really help?
I will end by saying that I have seen many wonderful photographs of women surviving breast cancer proudly displaying their mastectomy scars, often beautifully tattooed, while grinning at the camera in resolute defiance. Breast cancer is not always the end, but often the beginning of a new life.
Just try to keep positive, and good luck, you seem like a good man to know.
tapestryofsound
The biggest change I see in me is perhaps realising how women see themselves as women, and how much their identity as women is through their breasts, and their hair. The hair will grow back, but to lose a breast, or both breasts, is very hard to live with. It does not matter how young or old a woman is, it is devastating, for all manner of reasons. Some I'm simply not prepared to talk about.
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy affects everyone quite differently. Some suffer more than others, some seem hardly affected at all. Even so, the confusion and delirium caused can have a marked effect upon the sense of self and identity. But the surgery changes everything. A woman can be haunted by sensations from a phantom breast for years afterwards, and this is where women really need other women.
One of the kindest acts towards my wife was from a neighbour who gave her a teddy bear to hold under her armpit after her lumpectomy. It not only helped, but 'Ted' has become our faithful mascot on our dozens of long journeys to and from hospital appointments.
I know this might sound silly, but get your wife a teddy bear ........
I have also realised that women are at a 1 in 8 risk of getting breast cancer, and men also at similar odds of getting prostate cancer. My wife and I believe that there are environmental problems at the root of this, but who can say, and does it really help?
I will end by saying that I have seen many wonderful photographs of women surviving breast cancer proudly displaying their mastectomy scars, often beautifully tattooed, while grinning at the camera in resolute defiance. Breast cancer is not always the end, but often the beginning of a new life.
Just try to keep positive, and good luck, you seem like a good man to know.
tapestryofsound
She has a teddy bear from last Valentines day.
I picked several boxes of snack cakes today as that is what she eats for breakfast. At this point I figure anything she eats is better than nothing.
Trying lots of beverages. Carbonated or not.
Sherbet, Ice cream, Popsicles, etc for hydration.
She won't drink plain water unless it is in a bottle so bottled water it is.
We were in the ER for a suspected UTI last week. Not a fun experience.
I picked several boxes of snack cakes today as that is what she eats for breakfast. At this point I figure anything she eats is better than nothing.
Trying lots of beverages. Carbonated or not.
Sherbet, Ice cream, Popsicles, etc for hydration.
She won't drink plain water unless it is in a bottle so bottled water it is.
We were in the ER for a suspected UTI last week. Not a fun experience.
My wife says from her own experience, she found that sipping water a little and often throughout the day is what really helps to flush out any residual chemotherapy chemicals, and toxins caused by cellular breakdown within the body.
Try to avoid acidic fruits or soft drinks with excessive amounts of sucrose, as they can and do tend to irritate the urinary tract.
I appreciate exactly what you say about your wife's constantly changing sense of smell and taste - this is par for the course with chemotherapy. So when it comes to food and drink, if has nutritional value, try anything and everything. So long as she keeps on eating and drinking, she will keep on living.
You're doing fine kiddo, just keep on going and try to look after yourself.
Yes, that is one of the effects of diarrhoea. When the body loses water, the blood thickens, and this changes the balance of electrolytes in the blood. In turn, this places additional pressure upon the kidneys (causing pain) and increases the amount of urea in the bladder, thereby causing further irritation of the urethra.
The electrolyte balance of the blood can be restored by oral ingestion of rehydration salts, mainly sodium, potassium and calcium in soluble form. You can buy these without a doctors prescription from any drugstore. Read the instructions carefully. Your wife needs to sip water a little at a time and often. Don't be shy about holding a cup to her mouth if you have to. If your wife becomes too weak to be rehydrated by mouth, she can always be put onto in an intravenous drip. There are drinkable liquid foods available with a high fibre content to both sooth the alimentary canal and help to solidify matters.
As an alternative, my wife has just told me that she can drink boiled hot water, or very weak black tea - if she finds the rehydration salts too much for her stomach to handle. As always, get a second informed opinion.
You are both in this together, I know it's a bit scary right now, but you will get a handle on it. Think of it like riding a massive wave that's travelled all the way in from Hawaii. Look around, there are other people riding the very same wave with you, too. Don't fight it - roll with it. Let it ride right over your heads. There are other chemo waves coming, and you are going to get really good at this.
Just keep going kiddo, one day at a time is all you need to think about.
Write back when you can.
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Hello TheGimp.
I would like to introduce another treatment from ”Imoto Seitai” method.
Its very easy,simple,effective and no side effect at all. You can do while any medical treatments.
Put hotmist towel on direct skin several times. Put the towel on where red pointed at left picture below for breast cancer.Towel must be not too thin,not too thick. Temperature may enough hot to make skin red but be careful for burn because nerve around stiffend place is insensitive.
Microwave 1-2min folded and squeezed Wet thicker towel then put it about 3-5min until towel get cold. Repeat same thing 2-3 times.
This seems too simple but there are a lot of reasons and deeply thoughts.
Red pointed place has Lymph nodes gathered. So Its good to be loosen stiffness there. While Seitai recommend hot mist towel, why not massaging or stable heat or stretching (first post of mine is different from only stretching)
Because body will resist to any force,stimulation,heat,drugs etc from outside.
So need more and stronger stimulation needed then body get dull and lose sensitiveness.The body resistance for protect from energy from outside.
Hot mist towel method uses body resistance opposite.
When towel get colder, body try to keep it warmer and gather blood circulation
and concentration.There are more things to say but without knowledge,anyone can feel it comfortable and refresh.
I can recommend to anyone, baby to old person, dog and cats.
I heard many surprising effects for many sickness including cancer.
And I often do for stomach,Intestine,liver, headache,eye problem,itchy skin,athema etc.
Its good to put hot mist towel on collarbone, liver, intestine, eyes, lower back,back of head, and ache place.
I would like to introduce another treatment from ”Imoto Seitai” method.
Its very easy,simple,effective and no side effect at all. You can do while any medical treatments.
Put hotmist towel on direct skin several times. Put the towel on where red pointed at left picture below for breast cancer.Towel must be not too thin,not too thick. Temperature may enough hot to make skin red but be careful for burn because nerve around stiffend place is insensitive.
Microwave 1-2min folded and squeezed Wet thicker towel then put it about 3-5min until towel get cold. Repeat same thing 2-3 times.
This seems too simple but there are a lot of reasons and deeply thoughts.
Red pointed place has Lymph nodes gathered. So Its good to be loosen stiffness there. While Seitai recommend hot mist towel, why not massaging or stable heat or stretching (first post of mine is different from only stretching)
Because body will resist to any force,stimulation,heat,drugs etc from outside.
So need more and stronger stimulation needed then body get dull and lose sensitiveness.The body resistance for protect from energy from outside.
Hot mist towel method uses body resistance opposite.
When towel get colder, body try to keep it warmer and gather blood circulation
and concentration.There are more things to say but without knowledge,anyone can feel it comfortable and refresh.
I can recommend to anyone, baby to old person, dog and cats.
I heard many surprising effects for many sickness including cancer.
And I often do for stomach,Intestine,liver, headache,eye problem,itchy skin,athema etc.
Its good to put hot mist towel on collarbone, liver, intestine, eyes, lower back,back of head, and ache place.
Attachments
My wife will be having her second mastectomy early next week. The good news is that her orthopaedic surgeon has put her at the top of the list for a hip replacement scheduled for when she has recovered from surgery. We got the letter yesterday.
I do wonder how TheGimp is getting on.
My son who lives with me and is going to college has come down with a virus, so I have taken my former wife to her house for the next couple of days. She is doing well and has recovered mostly from the first chemo. She is strong enough to be by herself for a little while.
I cooked her enough food to last until the next chemo is scheduled (in four days) and shopped for her before taking her home.
I can't risk her being around someone who is sick.
tapestryofsund, I'm glad things are going well for you and your wife.
I cooked her enough food to last until the next chemo is scheduled (in four days) and shopped for her before taking her home.
I can't risk her being around someone who is sick.
tapestryofsund, I'm glad things are going well for you and your wife.
Mr. Gimp,
every line from you paints me an image of a very caring, loyal individual who has his mind and emotion close together.
As impressive as your cooking.
(my mind is a fragment of what it used to a year ago, in case my words above give off a wrong impression, please forgive me)
Be there for everything. Listen to them, never be uncaring, never be impatient..
The specialist goes through this for a living. Pay attention.
If you ever have to drive 100 miles in less than one hour to help her, do so. (a strong sphincter helps).
Always remember, you have chosen this path and this person, they rely on you. There is nothing more important.
You do not have to be smart. You have to be THERE.
Never put yourself in the position of saying "I should have done more."
jn
The specialist goes through this for a living. Pay attention.
If you ever have to drive 100 miles in less than one hour to help her, do so. (a strong sphincter helps).
Always remember, you have chosen this path and this person, they rely on you. There is nothing more important.
You do not have to be smart. You have to be THERE.
Never put yourself in the position of saying "I should have done more."
jn
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Hi Gimp,
Glad to see that you both made it through the first wave of chemo. Everything tells me you are one of the good guys - you are getting it right as the caregiver.
Outstanding. Especially about the food. Some advice:- the chemo kills nearly all of the alimentary canal digestive bacteria. Feed your ex wife organic live yoghurt, it contains lactobacillus which creates the right conditions for regeneration of the digestive system. If need be, you can culture live yoghurt yourself. If your ex wife can only drink bottled water, it can be bought in water cooler style bulk containers, and suggest that you boil it and allow to cool before drinking. If she likes ice cubes, then make them from the boiled water. I am sure you do this already, but make sure the kitchen refrigerator is sterile and clean.
Lots of us are saying this, and I will say it again myself:- eat properly, sleep properly, and exercise properly, for as the caregiver you will be able to deal with all of this day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment - indefinitely, and with a free conscience.
Glad to see that you both made it through the first wave of chemo. Everything tells me you are one of the good guys - you are getting it right as the caregiver.
Outstanding. Especially about the food. Some advice:- the chemo kills nearly all of the alimentary canal digestive bacteria. Feed your ex wife organic live yoghurt, it contains lactobacillus which creates the right conditions for regeneration of the digestive system. If need be, you can culture live yoghurt yourself. If your ex wife can only drink bottled water, it can be bought in water cooler style bulk containers, and suggest that you boil it and allow to cool before drinking. If she likes ice cubes, then make them from the boiled water. I am sure you do this already, but make sure the kitchen refrigerator is sterile and clean.
Lots of us are saying this, and I will say it again myself:- eat properly, sleep properly, and exercise properly, for as the caregiver you will be able to deal with all of this day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment - indefinitely, and with a free conscience.
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