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Let's help Ruth and Dave

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It's in the first post. If you click on the link.
Four months ago my friend Ruth heard a thud and found her husband, Dave, laying on the bathroom floor, ghostly pale and staring wide-eyed. Ruth immediately called an ambulance and while on the phone, was horrified to see her husband rise and fall several more times. The quick call for paramedics more than likely saved his life. Dave was taken to Vic General where an emergency CT Scan and speedy blood work prompted another ambulance to rush him to Royal Jubilee for emergency surgery less than an hour after leaving their home. It turned out that an abdominal aortic aneurysm had burst (one of multiple previously undetected aneurysms), his chest was full of blood and infection was raging through his upper body. Dave was given less than a 50/50 chance of survival, even with the immediate surgery.

Two gifted surgeons spent over 10 hours working valiantly to save his life. The head surgeon told us that when he opened Dave’s chest he expected blood to spill out; however, instead all that could be seen was infection. Dave survived the surgery to replace his entire aorta, top to bottom, and was kept in an induced-coma for almost a week to allow the body to begin to heal. The surgeon said that he had no idea how Dave even made it this far. I believe it shows the strength and tenacity of a man who wants to live!

We still don't know what the long term looks like. To date, the infection seems to have run its course, Dave has received dialysis to restart his kidneys (they protested the 10-hour blood starvation during the surgery) and physiotherapy to learn to walk again has begun. The hospital is still Dave’s home for now, but maybe soon we'll be able to plan for the future.

I started this page to ask if anyone could help them out. My friends are hard-working persons of low income and so don't have benefits or savings to fall back on. They will need a lot of help in the next year to come, and Dave may very likely need a wheelchair or at least a walker. Ruth has been working 2 jobs to make ends meet, but it has been difficult. They also face the prospect of moving because their home of almost 25-years, which is far out of town and not on a bus route, has too many stairs and it will be difficult for Dave to manoeuvre.

We don't really have a prognosis and won't for some time to come. We do know that the recovery time may be more than a year although we are told that he may be fighting the chance of infection for the rest of his life and that more surgeries are inevitable. No one could have anticipated the sudden fall of a seemingly healthy man, but they are getting through it with the help and support of amazing friends and family. Ruth is the rock that keeps this family together and we just want to be able to help her in the best way we can. We can provide buckets of emotional and moral support; unfortunately, we simply don't have the financial means. Unexpected costs have arisen for Ruth - the increased gas to and from the hospital for the last 4 months, the parking costs once there, a car crash that precipitated an earlier-than-expected purchase of a new vehicle that someday Dave can get in and out of, and renovations to the house (or saving to move to a new house) so he can comfortably come home someday to name just a few! She is also hoping to get a dog-walker or doggie daycare for their now lonely fur baby - even though Ruth is there with her, every night the dog sits for a while staring out the window. I think she is waiting for Dave to come home
 
The first post will take you to the ":GoFundMe" page. You'll find the story and updates


I apologize, I didn't read the gofundme page as my focus was clicking the submit button to donate.

It goes without question that I was going to donate because all of the TREMENDOUS help Dave gives everyone on the site. But I was curious as to what happened since he seemed healthy and happy.

Get well Dave!


EDIT: Thank you for the reiteration Bas!
 
I apologize, I didn't read the gofundme page as my focus was clicking the submit button to donate.

It goes without question that I was going to donate because all of the TREMENDOUS help Dave gives everyone on the site. But I was curious as to what happened since he seemed healthy and happy.

Get well Dave!


EDIT: Thank you for the reiteration Bas!

No apology necessary. Glad you found the info! :)
 
So it was almost exactly 4 months from the event that Ruth, Daniel, Dave's friend Mr Miller (also Dave), and myself have been juggling between the exigencies of the illness, as well as weather related property damage, and the car accident before this thread's inception.

Can the higher powers responsible for such things please assent those constitute a sufficient triad of misfortune for Ruth and Dave, and that all we need to be watchful now for is recovery? While there's only one of us in the hospital, all are suffering varying degrees of stress, and even survivor's guilt.

As the only member of that listed group participating in these fora, I once again thank all of you for the continued emotional support, and financial contributions.
 

PRR

Member
Joined 2003
Paid Member
...an abdominal aortic aneurysm had burst (one of multiple previously undetected aneurysms), his chest was full of blood and infection was raging ... surgery to replace his entire aorta, top to bottom

As you may know, this is a "burst hose". Like in your car. Your car will work fine until the hose bursts, then there's major trouble. A car, you can open the hood and look for hose bulges. There was no reason to "open the hood" (even scan) Dave; these things often show NO problems until they go blooie.

The aorta is the main "distribution bus" for blood. Runs from over the heart down to your navel. Aneurysms are often present from birth but don't show until later. Undetected aneurysms are VERY often fatal. Your car can sit roadside without water as long as convenient. Your body needs blood nearly every minute. Infected aneurysms (not due to aneurysm surgery) are not as common. Dave's case may be "interesting", to some doctors. Though as I can testify, any trouble in the gut invites mass infection. And that screws-up the whole body, even afterward.

A burst hose in a car may be a roadside stop or a total loss. But worst-case, you replace the car. We can't replace Dave. Complaining about the food(*) is a good sign but he is a long way away from being "well" again. A simple nerve-pinch has given me many expenses (walker, potty-seat, physical therapy). Dave and Ruth will have MUCH more expense and stress.

(*) Can't somebody smuggle food to him? When a pal was in hospital, the neighbor was "dying for a hot dog". As it was only leg-veins, I brought her a dog (she lived). Later when my gut was stopped and needed food to re-start, that pal brought me some mild but not Institutional food, I worked up a poop and they let me go. While there could be some risk of interaction between fish-taco and Flagyl (wicked antibiotic), dull food is not always the best medicine.
 
PRR- I did smuggle a small excellent salad in during the first month, but he wasn't then yet quite hungry enough, and my day job schedule prevents me from getting there any earlier than just about dinner time. The hospital is approx 40min driving time from my office, but I'm planning on bringing him in a nice burger from my son's restaurant soon after I get back from my holidays.

Of course, Jeff could always drop by with a nice piece of pie for dessert - if it passes any nutritional restrictions. There are few illnesses in our western culture in which diet isn't a contribing factor -it behooves us to not complicate Dave's recovery with well meant, but inappropriate "gifts". I should probably check with the staff first, but I'd also wager that his preferred Turkish tar ( I mean coffee), as well as fries with malt vinegar and Himalayan pink salt with the burger would be "let's wait a bit, shall we?" items.
 
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PRR

Member
Joined 2003
Paid Member
> bringing him in a nice burger

Ha!

I don't know Dave or his condition. As you say, a meat tidbit is one thing, a meat feast can be another. I do know that after my gall-bladder job, I didn't want to look at a hamburger for about a year (very odd for me). I don't remember my appetite after the earlier gut-infection. Be prepared to "help" him (eat 7/8 of it).

I was actually thinking more like an apple cobbler. Again we do not know if his insulin system can take a huge chunk of sugar. Pasta with a little cheese (fresh, not canned!), dash of pink salt? Even a few Wheat Thins beats hospital food.

I'm a coffee fiend, but recall that the English had trouble with battlefield gut wounds because no matter what else, the wounded always got a cuppa tea. With perforated guts, this often made a bad deal worse. I hope Dave is far past that. A thimble of tar-grade espresso might do good; more might be bad. (And after abstaining this long, a shot of acid caffeine may excite some bed-pan action.)
_______________

> your donation Cal

Yes, inspirational.
 
Without going into too much specifics, Dave would always say about pizza- or IIRC a nice milkshake - " I'm prepared to pay the price."
I still don't know how anyone could tolerate more than a demitasse of the stands your spoon up Turkish that he'd brew by the half litre soup bowl he called a mug - or is that just my imagination, Jeff/Cal?

Anyway, the Village HoodBurger on brioche bun, with a small side of Naughty Nellies' chips from next door, and a frosty ale ..... mmm, I just made myself a bit homesick.
 
Or pour down the sink without chasing with a good gallon of hot water. Almost all the plumbing supply and drain lines Casa Dlugos are PEX and ABS.

Anyway, enough of that silliness- back to your regularly scheduled programming-over to you on the Sports Desk, Cal.
 
I'm sure when Dave knows about this it will be good medicine.
O he knows...or so it seems from update 6:

Dear Friends:

It's been said that "A friend in need, is a friend indeed." No words can better describe what your friendship and generosity have meant to me and Dave over the past week. You are cherished friends indeed.

Dave and I appreciate that you took the time to read our story and you opened your hearts to us. It's wonderful to have friends like you, who are always there for us when we need you most.

Dave and I want you to know how much we appreciate you and what you have done. You know that wherever we go from here in life, our door will always been open to you and the music will be playing.

We will continue to post updates and keep the GoFundMe open until Dave can finally step out of the hospital, so you can see the results of your kindness.

With warm affection,
Dave and Ruth
 
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