i have my mains from the mixer into my subwoofers then linked them to my speakers. I have tried the other way around so from my mixer to speakers then to my subwoofer but wont work either
I reckon you should be using the high pass outs from your subs fella, hope this helps.
It is likely that the XLR inputs short pin-1 (ground) to either pin 2 or 3, on one or both speakers. Even if the mixer is balanced, one unbalanced input will short one phase, which may be the hot required by the other speaker. You may need to build custom cables or swap pins 2 and 3.