Speaker cable satire

[SWMBO]

I found this link for speaker cable on Amazon.com. Before you have a haemmorage at the price, you must read the reviews.

****WARNING*****​

Do not have any kind of liquid refreshment in your mouth when you read.

http://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-K2-Terminated-Speaker-Cable/dp/B000J36XR2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

[Cal Weldon]

Hi SWMBO,

Amazing that some people are still disbelievers in what a cable can offer. I am in wholey agreement with the reviewers. 🙂

Say Hi to Moondawg.

 

[picowallspeaker]

WOW MDs woman aka SWMBO in person!
She must be a nasty one with those cables in hand! 🙂
Really nice reviews, make me wonder ....

 

[Alex from Oz]

The reviews are killing me!
Laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and the kids came running in from all directions to find out what all the fuss was about.

Thanks SWMBO for making my day! 😀

Cheers,

Alex

 

[tomtt]

Laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and the kids came running in from all directions to find out what all the fuss was about.

like this one -

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7,738 of 7,840 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I have only a little time... November 15, 2010
By Whisper
We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

PLEASE! You must listen! We cannot maintain the link for long... I will type as fast as I can.

DO NOT USE THE CABLES!

We were fools, fools to develop such a thing! Sound was never meant to be this clear, this pure, this... accurate. For a few short days, we marveled. Then the... whispers... began.

Were they Aramaic? Hyperborean? Some even more ancient tongue, first spoken by elder races under the red light of dying suns far from here? We do not know, but somehow, slowly... we began to UNDERSTAND.

No, no, please! I don't want to remember! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME REMEMBER! I saw brave men claw their own eyes out... oh, god, the screaming... the mobs of feral children feasting on corpses, the shadows MOVING, the fires burning in the air! The CHANTING!

WHY CAN'T I FORGET THE WORDS???

We live underground.
We speak with our hands.
We wear the earplugs all our lives.
Do not use the cables!

and

666 of 689 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Completely ineffective November 28, 2010
By J. Kesselman
Even when I buffered the lightning down to a few thousand volts, these cables burned out before revivification could take place. Worse, while wasting time with these the body began to putrify; now I have to go out and dig up fresh materials and spend all that time stitching them together again.

Doesn't anyone screen these ads?

 

[rdf]

By J. Kesselman
Even when I buffered the lightning down to a few thousand volts, these cables burned out before revivification could take place

While Mr. Kesselman's thought processes raise questions about his stability that's one of the funniest audio quips I've ever read.