HP support

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This is one of the crappiest tech. support I ever saw. Do they look at what I write?

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

I see that the issue still persists after following the steps provided
in the previous email.

I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you by this issue.

Antonie, please perform a standalone copy from the unit. Follow the
steps provided below.

************ Standalone copy ****************

1 Load your original on the glass.
2 Press Copy, if not already lit.
3 Press Start Black or Start Color.

If the lines occur even with the standalone copy and there are dust
particles accumulated underneath the glass, then the unit needs to be
serviced. I request you to contact the Local Authorized Service
Provider to locate the service provider.

Please follow the steps listed below for assistance in locating a local
HP Authorized Support Provider.

1. Go to the following Web site:


This will take you to the find a Canada local HP authorized service
provider page.

2. In the category menu select the appropriate HP product.

3. After selecting the appropriate category you will get a list of HP
products in the Family box. Select the family in which your
product is located.

4. After Selecting the family of the product you will get a list of
products under the product list.

5. Select your product from the list under the product section and
click Next.

6. Follow the instructions on the service options page.

If no stores are located, repeat the search using another zip code
within your local area.

If you need further assistance, please
reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.

You may receive an e-mail survey regarding your e-mail support
experience. We would appreciate your feedback.

Please visit our Owner Services Web site for details on keeping your HP
and Compaq products up and running.



HP Total Care

Our advice is strictly limited to the question(s) asked and is based on
the information provided to us. HP does not assume any responsibility
or liability for the advice given and shall not be liable for any
direct, indirect, special, incidental or consequential damages in
connection with the use of this information. Always back up your data.
For more information, including technical information updates, please
visit our Web site at http://www.hp.com/support.

Original Message Follows:

Actually, I already cleaned up everything(Even the mirrors) with hot
distilled water instead of non-abrasive glass cleaner. I guess that
glass cleaner would work better.
Have you looked at my web site? I have a page with pictures telling
exactly what I did to clean it up.
I still see some blue lines, looking the same all along,
but I can't see the lines that were at the top of the scan only. These
top-only blue lines were coming from under the glass.
If you see that I talk about lines on the glass in the chat transcripts,

you should know that these lines are not there anymore, because I cleaned it,
by doing what I wrote on my page (Link above).
Where I found that cleaning the mirrors could help:
Where I found how to remove the control panel and the coffee filter
trick : http://www.fixyourownprinter.com/forums/inkjet/22650
Where I found which glass cleaner I could buy tomorrow :
Lunch at Hewlett Packard -- when it was an instrumentation company:

<i><b>Lunch, the HP Way</b>

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPUs, no screaming
disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man
for life.

I had a 9:00 meeting with my Sales Rep. I needed to buy an entire new
Series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours
later, we'd barely got the datacomm hardware down on paper, so he
invited me downstairs to lunch.

This was my first experience in an HP cafeteria. Above the service
counter was a menu which began...

MMU's (Main Meal Units)

00010A Burger. Includes sesame-seed bun.
Must order condiments 00110A separately.

001 Deletes seeds.
002 Expands burger to two patties.

00020A Double Cheesburger, Preconfigured. Includes cheese, bun
and condiments.

001 Add-on bacon.
002 Delete second patty.
003 Replaces second patty with extra cheese.

00021A Burger Upgrade to Double Cheesburger.

001 From Single Burger.
002 From Double Burger.
003 Return credit for bun.

00220A Burger Bundle. Includes 00010A, 00210A and 00310A

001 Substitute root beer 00311A for cola 00310A.

My eyes glazed over. I asked for a burger and a root beer.
The waitress looked at me like I was an alien.

"How would you like to order that, sir?"
"Quickly, if possible. Can't I just order a sandwich and a drink?"
"No sir. All our service here is menu driven. Now what would you like?"
I scanned the menu. "How big is the 00010 burger?"
"The patty is rated at eight bites."
"Well, how about the rest of it?"
"I don't have the specs on that, sir, but I think it's a bit more."
"Eight bites is too small. Give me the Double Burger Upgrade."

My sales rep interrupted. "No, you want the Single Burger option 002
'expands burger to two patties'. The Double Burger Upgrade would give
you two burgers.

"But you could get return credit on the extra bun," the waitress
chimed in, trying to be helpful, "although it isn't documented."

I looked around to see if anybody was staring at me. There was a couple
in line behind us. I recognized one of them, a guy who nearly mowed me
down in the parking lot with his cherry-red '62 Vette. He was talking
to some woman who was waving her arms around and looking very excited.

"What if... we marketed the bacon cheesebuger with the vegetable option
and without the burger and cheese? It'd be a BLT!"

The woman charged off in the direction of the telephone, running
steeplechase over tables and chairs. My waitress tried to get my
attention again. "Have you decided, sir?"

"Yeah, give me the double burger- excuse me, I mean the 00020A with
option 001. I want everything on it." She put me down for the
Condiment Expansion Kit, which included mayonnaise, mustard and pickles
with a option to substitute relish.

"Ketchup." I hated to ask. "I want ketchup on that, too."
"That's not a condiment, sir, it's a Tomato Product." My Sales Rep
butted in again. "That's not a supported configuration."
"What now?" I kept my voice steady.
"Too juicy. The bun can't handle it."
"Look, forget the ketchup, just put some lettuce and tomatoes on it."

The waitress backed away from the counter. "I'm sorry, sir, but that's
not supported either. The bun can take it, but the burger won't fit
in the box. "Ah, but it will." The Sales Rep defended himself. "Just
not at first release." "It is being beta-tested, sir."

I checked the overhead screen. Fries, number 00210A, option 110,
French, followed by option 120, English. "What the hell are English
Fries?" I turned to the Sales Rep. "Chips they call them. We sell a
lot of them."

I gave up. "OK, OK, just give me a plain, vanilla Burger Bundle."
This confused the waitress profoundly. "Sir, Vanilla as an option is
configured only for Series 00450 Milkshakes." My sales rep chuckled.
"No, ma'am, he just wants a standard 00220A off the shelf. I wondered
how long it had been on the shelf. I didn't ask.

"Very good, sir." The waitress breathed a sigh of relief. "Your meal
is now on order. Now, how would you like it supported?" "Support?"
She directed me to the green shaded area at the bottom of the menu,
and I began a litany with my Sales Rep that I'll never forget.

"Implementation assistance?"

"You get a waiter."

"Implementation analysis?"

"You tell him how hungry you are, and he tells you what to eat."

"Response Center Support?"

"He brings it to your table."

"Extended materials?"

"You get refills."

I stuffed some money at the waitress and told her to take it. She
gave me my check on three sheets of green-bar paper. I studied it
on the way to my table, and decided it'd pass as an emergency napkin.

Table? My Sales Rep had been bright enough to order us a table. He
hadn't been bright enough to check on a delivery date. The table
waiter slouching in the corner surveyed the crowded room, looked at me
and said "Two weeks. But I can get you a standalone chair by the
window right away."

I handed him the tray. A woman rushed up to me with two cups of chili
and sauerkraut for the hot dog someone else had ordered. The room
began to grow dim, my eyesight faded...

I woke up clutching the water-glass at my bedside table. It was five
AM, four hours till my meeting with HP. I had had a vision, I did
what it told me to do. I dialed my office, and I called in sick.
:eek: :whazzat:

I have the impression that the tech support is a computer that looks up for some words and give you a preset answer. Yesterday I had chat sessions with these things.

They all told the same thing:
It starts like this:
"Hello, I'm ???"
"How can I assist you today."

When I told something, each times I received a
"Thanks for the information."

If they told "Please wait", and I typed "OK", they were always telling "Thank you."

Each times I typed in questions, I received an answer telling me to try something related to some words in the question. The only thing is that I wrote that I already tried these steps before they asked me to do so.

Example, :
The tech guy tells

"-Hello, I'm Ray

How can I assist you today.

-There are some blue lines I can physically see under the window that appear while scanning and copying.

-Print a test page and tell me if there are some blue lines

-Well... there are no blue lines.

-Thanks for the information.

Try copying the same page and tell me if there are some.

-There are some blue lines.

-Thanks for the information.

Please wait.


-Thank you."

And it continues like this. I mean, they really look like computers.

I'll try the HP IT forum. There seem to be "true" answers from both HP guys and other members.

Off topic: BTW, jackinnj. I see your www link is tech-diy.com. How many Huigang relays do you have left?
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