Hilarious descriptions in audio sales literature

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This cracked me up today browsing... Goes beyond poor translation

"The tone is different from the silicon tube, and it is different from the tube and the field effect tube. It has its unique charm and style, like lobster and chicken soup."

#Aliexpress NZ$ 94.11 | The sound is fascinating pure class A single-ended tube output preamplifier board, the sound is transparent and lingering LG267H

What strange comparisons or superlatives have you seen in descriptions for audio equipment which made you chuckle?
Joined 2009
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I'm not certain we even have to search elsewhere:
"For the triode, it is very strange after 80 and 90. If you haven’t played the funeral, you can let go of your experience and experience!"
Um, ok... But wait - there's more!
"This feature makes the sound of the fistula release very divergent. Force is not simply a more traditional sound that can be described and compared with the timid sound, but it is innate to the fistula"
Uh, I'm not sure I even want to go there. Yes, light-years beyond poor translation! :D

Very strange. :p
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Joined 2017
The infamous random marketing brouhaha-generator now on oriental steroids.
The ingredients of this soup are selected by the cook Algorithm, who happens to enjoy a hobby involving a 'silicon tube' (just to differentiate from ordinairy and field effect tubes).
This is of all times, and motivated me an odd 20 years ago to leave the audio bizz and enjoy a theatre job as head tech.
JungSon JA-88D Intergrated Amplifier Value Edition 120W Class AB
JungSon JA-88D Class AB Intergrated Amplifier Value Edition come with Remote Control 100% Brand New Declaration All items guaranteed 100% BRAND NEW in the original edition Box. ONE-YEAR WARRANTY !!! Features: JA-88D Value Edition ◆ It has a JA-88D-selling series of classic fashion look. ◆ Jungson mature classic lines. Chunhou sound, vocal performance is a must. 680VA transformer as a square (10 minutes of God), Advanced 40000 microfarads filter capacitor, the coupling capacitance fever, Toshiba C5200, A1943 power transistor 2 right, the three are willing to promote the tube.

More of a funny translation than down right factory wrapped English sales jargon
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