A few of Life's Laws.......
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional
to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi -
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
10. Law of Bio mechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Arena -
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave
early before the end of the performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have
long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down
on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better.
But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional
to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi -
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
10. Law of Bio mechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Arena -
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave
early before the end of the performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have
long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down
on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better.
But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
I knew this already. But this is excellent.
All jokes are new jokes for a new-born.
And this, although It's just a cop joke only:
Two police officers going down at the underground station.
When they step on the safety bar, it automatically sounds a tone:
- Please leave free the safety bar!
- But no that direction!!
All jokes are new jokes for a new-born.
And this, although It's just a cop joke only:
Two police officers going down at the underground station.
When they step on the safety bar, it automatically sounds a tone:
- Please leave free the safety bar!
- But no that direction!!
I'm somewhat crazy for sure.
But I do not think I would have been wild.
Altough I feel it so sometimes though, this saying of Mahatma hits me:
"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
Let us remember him, since the anniversary of his death will be January on 30.
But I do not think I would have been wild.
Altough I feel it so sometimes though, this saying of Mahatma hits me:
"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
Let us remember him, since the anniversary of his death will be January on 30.
An engineer,
Was cleaning some grease off metal chassis with petrol poured into a dish,
The works cat ran over and lapped up the petrol,
It instantly went into a fit and ran round the room getting faster and faster,
Suddenly it stopped, went ridged and fell over.
The engineer said, "Look the cats dead!"
His mate came over and checked the cat, Its alright mate its run out of petrol.
Regards
M. Gregg
Was cleaning some grease off metal chassis with petrol poured into a dish,
The works cat ran over and lapped up the petrol,
It instantly went into a fit and ran round the room getting faster and faster,
Suddenly it stopped, went ridged and fell over.
The engineer said, "Look the cats dead!"
His mate came over and checked the cat, Its alright mate its run out of petrol.
Regards
M. Gregg
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