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Old 23rd December 2003, 07:43 PM   #101
Sch3mat1c is offline Sch3mat1c  United States
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I missed it!! Was it that 'angles on a woman' pic?

Seven Transistor Labs, LLC
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Old 23rd December 2003, 07:53 PM   #102
SY is offline SY  United States
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No, it involved a keyboard with one of the words that will automatically cause the forum software to give you a ****.
"You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is."
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Old 23rd December 2003, 08:07 PM   #103
purplepeople is offline purplepeople  Canada
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The problem with the AI softwares known as Girlfriend(s)1.0, Wife1.0, and Mistress1.0 is that most people don't install separate drivers. As an added bonus, if you have a regular upgrade cycles for the drivers, they almost never fail to keep the various DLLs (dolls) from interacting.

It's also important to expect each program to have a minor crash every so often so getting a reliable system to begin with is critical. Remember that once a program is started, you never really want to shut it down because even when minimized, the benefits usually outweigh the burden on system resources. When you do get a crash, it is usually easily fixed by restarting the program before cancelling the crashed instance. In this way, no re-programming of the main AI engines need occur.

Finally, it is possible that the AI's are not fully compatible with the main operating system. Sometimes the work-around is merely checking the ToiletSeatDown box within BadBoy21.0 or even just shutting down the MinuteMan interface. But more likely, the incompatibility is a condition for the entire life of the operation and the re-entering of data fields like Anniversary and Birthday need to be automated.
Those who claim to be making history are often the same ones repeating it.
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Old 31st December 2003, 02:06 PM   #104
Da5id4Vz is offline Da5id4Vz  United States
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Default Because Skinny Boy Doesnt like Mac's

Personally, I'm rather platform agnostic. My favorite computer platform is usually the one that I didnít have to buy...

Having lived through admiring a few SGI super computers, and more AVID systems than I can remember, if around this clip to be kind of funny. Itís a nice parody of an Apple commercial:


{Non sequitor: sure the monolith has been there three years, but in geological terms, three times around the big ball of fire in the sky is just an instant... Oh crap, the Morlocs are after me again}
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Old 31st December 2003, 11:07 PM   #105
EC8010 is offline EC8010  United Kingdom
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Paul Klipsch is walking down the street when he sees Amar Bose on the opposite side. Cupping his hands to his mouth, he shouts, "Hey, Bose, are you still making those terrible loudspeakers?" Bose turns to the wall in embarrassment and mumbles, "Yes."
The loudspeaker: The only commercial Hi-Fi item where a disproportionate part of the budget isn't spent on the box. And the one where it would make a difference...
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Old 26th January 2004, 07:31 PM   #106
Pjotr is offline Pjotr
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Iím working on the ultimate odd order room reflection cancelling device. Odd order room modes are a bad thing you know. But I am a bit lost in AutoCad:

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Old 5th March 2004, 07:57 PM   #107
jackinnj is offline jackinnj  United States
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Default software engineering humor

the following appeared on alt.binaries.schematics.electronic -- note that Wells Fargo was considered to be the premier technology bank at one time:
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Old 12th March 2004, 01:49 AM   #108
Da5id4Vz is offline Da5id4Vz  United States
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Default Fun with telephones:

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it.

A man answered saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred, could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

He replied "Wrong number ***hole" and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.) After hanging_up_with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an ***hole!" and I hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word '***hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ***hole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ***hole!"

So, one day I was at the grocery store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed
a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW ***hole, too.

I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"


"Don, you're an ***hole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two ***holes to call. But after several weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

So, I came up with an idea: I called ***hole #1.


"You're an ***hole!" (but I didn't hang up).

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ***hole, a yellow house with my black BMW parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ***hole."

Then I called ******* # 2: "Hello?" he said.

"Hello ***hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, ***hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my *** lover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St.There, I saw two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a TV news crew.

Now, I feel better...

Masquerading as a normal person, day after day, is exhausting....
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Old 12th March 2004, 01:57 AM   #109
Da5id4Vz is offline Da5id4Vz  United States
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I thought the software would edit out all of the naughty bits. My apologies to anyone who might have been offended before I, uhm, fixed it.

Sometimes I can be a real ***hole.

BTY any similarities to names or persons appearing on this sight are purely coincidence. This is the way I got the story sent to me.

I need to go spend some time adding a few numbers to my speed dial.
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Old 12th March 2004, 03:42 AM   #110
Bill Fitzpatrick is offline Bill Fitzpatrick  United States
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Me - a lowly technician

My boss - an engineer

My boss says to me, "Cut 2 lengths of cable, one 50' long and the other 100' long and leave them on the table here."

I do. Now imagine the cables on the table; 2 lengths, neatly coiled up sitting next to each other.

Later he comes back to get them and asks, "Which one is the 100' foot?

I say, "The long one."

A few days later I get my notice.
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