Embarrassing moments! (Are you man enough)

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Embarrassing moments!

Well I wonder how many are willing to admit their most embarrassing moments..
I don’t think it reflects on any professional person or their ability, everyone makes mistakes or…..

Anyway along time ago on a planet far far away..I was shopping for toys for my daughter and new she wanted a particular doll..so we searched and searched for it everywhere was sold out..
As a last dich attempt we drove some miles to a store and hurried into the toy department. After looking for some time my wife saw the exact doll high up on a shelf..
I dried in vein to get it stretching and straining even tried looking fo an assistant<<never one about when you need one is there. So in desperation a tried spinning a few teddy bears at it and a few other things hoping to knock it of the shelf before someone else got it..to no avil..

Then a quite voice behind me said,” oh dear do reach it for the nice young man”..I looked around to see a little old lady..then her daughter that looked like wonder woman<<or porn mag star long blonde hair..absolutely stunning walked up to me<<I’m not small by most standards…

Eye to here belt buckle reached up and passed it to me,” here you are she said” and smiled with a look that would melt stone..My reply sheepishly,”Thank you” (In a kindly voice) as I felt myself go bright red with embarrassment and she wanted to talk..I have to go, I said thanks so much..Turning and trying to get away..shopping for family are we?
I made my excuses and drifted into the crowd with my wife quietly laughing behind me..He he hehe..
Me GRRRRRRR<< :eek::mad::mad::mad:


Regards
M. Gregg
 
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One day at Loyola University...I was sitting on a bench, taking in the day. I dont remember the exact reason, but I got up and started to run towards the building on the opposite side of the road. There was a series of small bushes, about waist high separating the grass lawn from the sidewalk. Instead of jumping over them...I though I would just jog through them. I did not know that hidden within the series of bushes....there was also a chain link running though. Well...all I remember was faceplanting on the sidewalk, full speed, with backpack on and everything. I had about 40 witnesses that were more than happy to make it very clear...that I was a dumbass.
 
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Note most of mine are some time ago..

I pulled up with the gang by the local fish and chip shop..on my "sports moped" 50cc we all thought we were so cool with with our "learner plates" and leather jackets..looking at the group of girls sitting on the wall opposite...:D

We all put our bikes on side "Kick" stands..mine didn't have one so I put it on the centre stand..my mates all bought the Fish and chips and possed sat on their bikes looking at the girls...I was the last one out to my bike..opened the packet with curry sauce etc jumped on my bike..the stand dropped down a hole in the tarmac and dumped the bike and me backwards fish/chips and curry sauce straight in the face:eek::eek:..

everyone rolling about laughing the guys were crying with laughter and choking on the chips..my eyes were streaming with the spices..they all drove off and left me...:D:eek: Oh well..thats life I guess..

Regards
M. Gregg
 
Disabled Account
Joined 2010
Here's another one not me this time..

Me and a mate out on the town two up (motor bike 500cc) with some women on the back..
Drives into a multi storey car park..pulls up at the barrier..(I'm in front)

Pushes the button for the ticket..my mate gets off behind so his girl is standing to the side..he pushes the button and gets a ticket(which I find strange)..barrier goes up!

I drive away and he pulls a quick wheelie for a laugh ....as the barrier drops..yep straight in the face hard enough to break the wooden barrier off..

Scene..he's on the floor, " My neck my neck" his girl is doubled up laughing and can't stand up the carpark attendant is holding bits of his barrier ,"my barrier, my barrier"... my girl is now of the bike doubled up laughing..

I don't know weather to go to the bike screaming its nuts off with a jammed throttle comfort my mate or pick the women up of the floor..

I felt so sorry for him at the time...:D:D:D

Regards
M. Gregg
 
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M. Gregg, the picture of Grace Slick that graces your posts, has reminded me about a disgracefully embarrassing moment in my life, every time I noticed it, so it is quite remarkable that you of all people should have started this thread.

However, since I suspect that there is another topic besides religion and politics which should not be discussed on this site, I will refrain from any further comments. Except to say that of the three elements in your avatar -hot woman, funny camel and funny smoke - at least two played prominent parts.

vac

ps Nomen est omen still isn't lost on Grace, she was 70 in this picture

oie_16104327yLypnH0M.gif
 
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Disabled Account
Joined 2010
M. Gregg, the picture of Grace Slick that graces your posts, has reminded me about a disgracefully embarrassing moment in my life, every time I noticed it, so it is quite remarkable that you of all people should have started this thread.

However, since I suspect that there is another topic besides religion and politics which should not be discussed on this site, I will refrain from any further comments. Except to say that of the three elements in your avatar -hot woman, funny camel and funny smoke - at least two played prominent parts.

vac

ps Nomen est omen still isn't lost on Grace, she was 70 in this picture

View attachment 288645

Well,

The era of Stone Henge (I was there a couple of weeks ago Photo by Me..) summer festivals in the late 70s early 80's and everyone watching the sun strike the alter stone..music and fun come to mind...I guess for you it was White Rabbit..

Regards
M. Gregg
 

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Here is another one..

I bought a Rover with that wonderful pull up gate to get reverse on the gear change..

The thought of I must protect my investment..So I bought a shift lock (the large Yellow clamp/lock that fits over the hand brake and locks arround the gear change)..It comes provided with thread lock for the screw off gear change knob...to stop theives trying to force the lock over the lever..

So I unscrewed the knob on the stick filled it with thread lock and replaced..knowing that I had fooled the thief...Ha Ha Ha...

Later in the day I drove with my wife to the local shops to get some supplies...snapped the shift lock in place and smuggly walked away...

Came back to the car put the food in the boot...removed the shift lock and started the engine pulled up the gate lock .......:eek::eek::eek::eek: panic...

I could not get the gate high enough to get reverse..the car was pointing down hill two feet from the wall of the store with cars either side...:mad::mad::mad::mad:
MY thoughts (You stupid git you have screwed it down to far why didn't I check it ..why why)...both hands on the knob twist twist but the insert was turning in the knob...:crazy::eek::eek::eek:Oh c**p how am I going to get out..looked around and asked some kind gents if they could push me out of the parking space it took 4 of them + my wife steering...(Oh thanks with the explanation)<<<feeling like a complete Pr*t...Straight to the local dealer cap in hand...please can you help me to the woman behind the counter...I have glued my Knob so the gate is stuck.."the mechanics are all a bit busy show me she said"..Just my luck a woman..I can't get it off she has no chance..:mad: and its probably setting like concreate while I'm talking to her...:mad:

She sits in the drivers seat twists the knob twiddle twiddle...AND OF IT CAME in her hand...:eek::eek:...I had already broken the glue it just needed unscrewing..it wasn't turning in the knob it was comming off...:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Oh thanks so much..<<me....wife He He He....giggle..Quote it takes a woman to do a mans job well thats a first :rolleyes:...He He He...giggle.....:mad::mad::mad::mad:..

Regards
M. Gregg
 
My chemicals are better than your chemicals (a moral story)
A rant on the insanity of mankind

I heard this story from someone that will remain anonymous. He told me about how back in the 1970's when he and a lot of his friends were into drugs, how they would brag about who got the highest. They felt great pride in getting higher than other people and if they got high everyday, they felt great pride in that. After about a year and a half, he quit smoking marijuana because he got too burnt out and also felt ashamed at being constantly made fun of by his druggy friends for acting so stupid under the influence of drugs, even when he wasn't high during the harassment. His druggy friends would even try to pass him marijuana pipes and joints and he constantly turned them down. After he officially quit smoking marijuana, he tried smoking PCP a couple times just to experiment with. Strangely enough, this resulted in some people talking about someone they knew, in his presence, that smoked PCP, but wouldn't smoke marijuana. He thought this was so ridiculous he didn't say anything. Some of the arguing about audio on the internet makes me think of this "my drugs are better than your drugs" religion. This incredible phenomenon even extends to alcohol, tobacco and obesity, where fat drunk tobacco addicts accuse the evil illegal drug users of following Satan! Right now, I'm reminded of how my father would always complain about my beer drinking while he chained smoked and denied he chain smoked. He eventually got lung cancer and died from it. The cause of death on his death certificate is listed as lung cancer. I was one of the pallbearers at his funeral and so was my uncle. As we were carrying his coffin to the hearse, my uncle started to giggle and said something about how someone he knew that smoked a lot also died from lung cancer. This uncle quit smoking after he had to have surgery to clean out the arteries in his kidneys and treat his high blood pressure.

This paranoia even extends to other chemicals besides the pleasure chemicals. Left wing environmentalists bash Christians while at the same time believe in a form of creationism of their own, ie. by believing that nature is absolute and mankind must be stopped from destroying it, in spite of many of them believing in evolution. Synthetic chemicals are believed by many non-chemists as potentially dangerous while natural chemicals are believed to be inherently safe despite the existence of ricin, botulism toxin and other natural poisons, all this long after Friedrich Wohler proved organic chemicals can be made synthetically. In the 70’s I was a little surprised to see the word “organic” applied to some farm products. Now the USDA has guidelines for the meaning of organic for organically grown products. One of the characteristics is that no synthetic fertilizers are used. So called natural fertilizers are considered to be inorganic by the chemists. At one store where they sell products labeled as organic and/or natural I could only find one thing that was labeled as not having salt in it (blue corn chips). I’m on a low saturated fat, low sodium, low sugar diet designed to keep my blood pressure down. I tried to talk to the ignorant people who work at this store about selling more low sodium products since high blood pressure is such as common problem. They would not sell the non-fat cheese slices I showed them, because they claim they only sell things that are labeled organic or natural. I told them they sell nothing that is natural in their store. The natural label is just a marketing gimmick and means whatever the seller wants it to mean. Wheat, corn, other domestic plants and meat from domestic animals are not natural. They do not occur in nature. One of the freaks ran from me when I tried to talk sense to him. I want to point out that I’m in favor of making food and the environment safer. I just want to leave out the BS and paranoia and also, hopefully, keep the price of food low.

Well, I guess that’s enough paranoia for the time being. I’ll think of some more later.
 
I remember as a younger man, when new at a job, I was standing around with a few of the other men at break-time. It was a small building and nice outside, so we were on the side of the building under a covered break area. In front of us was a parking lot. While chatting, acting smart & tough, we joked about other people we worked with. I was new, so I was trying to be funny and personable. So when a car pulled up with this hideous, beast-woman driving it, I tore in. "Look at that woman - she's disgusting! What an ugly mess! She must have fallen out of an ugly-tree and hit every branch on the way down!" Just then, a co-worker, let's call him Bill, said, "Dude, that's my wife..."

Needless to say, I immediately shut up, apologized profusely, and layed-low for a while. I felt awful. Of course, I was right - she WAS tore-up-from-the-floor-up - but I never want to hurt someone so blatantly and so personally. I learned a valuable lesson too that I've used, successfully, I might add, throughout my career; never insult someone unless you know who they are connected to!
 
Disabled Account
Joined 2010
Here's another one..

I seem to have quite a repertoire...:D

During my biking days I bought a Honda Aspencade 1100..touring was good at the time and away we went to different locations just (local for a start)..I knew the weight of the bike could be an issue so I was always very carefull how I handled it when moving slow or stationary..

I got quite confident (Even though the bike had no reverse) and was back breaking at times..

Signs for a village sunny day well have a look..

So off down this steep slope towards the Parking signs to have a look around the small village in Cornwall. Lots of nice old victorian shops overhanging the small one track road..around the corner comes a woman walking backwards in the middle of the road in front of us..(I wondered what was going on for a moment)..then she seemed to be waving at someone..she was not looking at me so I slowed down...then a huge camper van apears from around the courner the top just scraping the signs from the overhanging shops. I thought..Oh C**p..and stopped. She looked forward and here face dropped..I looked at the angle of the road "no foot path" nowhere to go no side roads no pull in not enough room for even a shuffle to turn around..

She turned around and started waving the van back down the hill..as soon as I saw a clearing I went for it past the wall following the sign (Parking)..then cobbles covered in sand slide straignt onto the beach..back wheel sinks up to the axle and the engine sits on the sand with back wheel spinning..I got off the bike and there it stood all on its own..(both wheels up to the axles)..no mobile phones at the time..after about 20minuites a group of fishermen on the wall took pity...All right mate thats a nice bike..looks like your in a bit of a pickle..:eek:..well yes..come on guys...four of them picked it up and carried it off the beach..(If it hadn't been for the fishermen I would have been there for a very very long time)..

Regards
M. Gregg
 
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Disabled Account
Joined 2010
Here is another one..


Who remembers their early days of mechanical expertise, and the do it yourself because its cheaper.. J
V Twin motor cycle.. with a slight noise from the rear crank case ..Knock ..knock..
Other than that it works fine..

So gets all the info ..ahh it must be the cam chain…looks easy enough..there is a new modified tensioner I’ll fit it… :D
So of to the local bike shop got a tensioner kit mate? The guy behind the counter,”it can be a bit tricky you know”. Ha he’s just after some money for the job…<<my thoughts.
No its OK I’ll have a go..the look on the guys face realy said it all but I bought the parts..
(I’ll fit this over the weekend ready for work)

Out comes the engine with help from a few mates..girlfriend<<to become wife watching intently.. :)
Drains the oil..struggles and tips the engine up on end to remove the rear crank case..(Hundreds of bolts removed) 1 hour later outer crank case off..still can’t get the next plate off..(It must be the gasket is holding it) Struggle..struggle..ah its coming off.. Phew this is heavy…struggle…Then the girlfriend what’s that then? As my mate looks over the top of the plate..Oh C**p..Put it back…put it back…Why..Why…just do it quick…as I’m frozen with panic…why..why..Just be careful put it back…

So I carefully look under the plate…To see all the gear box parts have come away with the plate. What looks in a panic like hundreds of parts bearings gears shafts all running with oil…Oh C**p..I move the plate back about a milli meter and crash rattle clunk..the sound seems to go on for ever…the oil washes over the parts and ball bearings orings small pins, drift across the floor…The girl friend breaks into hysterical laughter…as I move the plate and another crash like a never ending nightmare..
I need it for work ….what am I gonna do???

My mate, “I think you better ring the guy at the shop..its gonna take weeks to sort that lot out”..:eek::eek::eek:
To the phone…hello,”remember me the guy with the cam chain kit..Oh yes he says.”:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Well I have a problem with the engine…is it missing a bit? Well you could say that…Do you have some time if I bring it in…yes sure it might need tuning..
A couple of hours later…. The guy at the shop whats in the crate? I thought you wanted me to look at your engine? Then he looks over the top …Hysterical laughter come and look at this Bob…HAhAhAhAhA..His enging is missing a bit…HAHAHAHA…

Two weeks late and cost of an engine rebuild the bike was back on the road…


Regards
M. Gregg
 
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