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Old 24th May 2018, 10:14 AM   #51
haiqu is offline haiqu  Australia
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I have perfect pitch. I managed to throw a ukelele down a well without hitting any banjos.

Speaking of banjos, a musician friend recently panicked at the shopping centre when he realized he'd left the car unlocked with his prized instrument in the back. When he got to the car there were two banjos in the back.

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

And this one's for Jonathan Bright:

Two adventurers in deepest Africa were being chased by a tribe of natives. They were driven up a narrow gully with no way of escape and so they hid behind a large rock awaiting their fate. As the tribe approached there was an ominous sound. One man held his hands to his ears and yelled, "Oh, my head! If only those jungle drums would stop!" There was a pause and then the Chief called back to them very slowly, "You don't want drums to stop. When drums stop, then comes bass solo."
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Old 28th June 2018, 06:42 PM   #52
Soundhappy is offline Soundhappy  France
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DJ Schmolli - In The Mood For Some Killing Joke ?
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Old 28th June 2018, 07:51 PM   #53
leadbelly is offline leadbelly  Canada
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Music Jokes
How do you get rid of a bass player?

Let the keyboardist use their left hand.
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Old Today, 01:34 AM   #54
PeteMcK is offline PeteMcK
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Sir Thomas Beecham once not happy with a cellist remarked:
"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it."
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