Drinking Jokes

Status
This old topic is closed. If you want to reopen this topic, contact a moderator using the "Report Post" button.
An Irishman, a German, and a Frenchman are all sitting at the bar.

The Frenchman orders a beer. No sooner does it get set in front of him, than a fly lands right in the froth.

"Zis is deesgusting!" he says, and pushes the glass away.

The German, not wasting any time, grabs the glass, picks out the drowning fly, and downs the tasty beverage.

The Irshman picks up the fly, holds it up in the air over his mouth and says: "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
 
Ex-Moderator
Joined 2002
Two A roads walk into a bar for a pint. They order, and sit down at a table. Over in the corner, leaning against the bar, they see a thin strip of tarmac. Suddenly, in stomps the M1, swaggers up to the bar next to the tarmac, and loudly and brashly orders a drink, in the process knocking over the other's pint. An argument develops and the two go outside to sort it out, the M1 towering over the little trackway. After the sounds of a swift, but violent confrontation outside, the little strip of tarmac walks back in, dusting himself off. The two A Roads are astounded at this, and turn to some of the locals to see if they know anything about what went on. A wizzend old B road turns round to them, and whispers quietly, "you've got to watch that guy, he's a cyclepath..."


Americans, A road- main highway, B road - slightly less busy, M1 - big road, fast, lots of lanes. ;)
 
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda (police) get here!''

;)
 
Related...

and only funny after a few:

Two atoms collide as they hurry around the corner.

Their packages go everywhere, and they both go sprawling.

Once they have collected themselves, one starts looking around and rooting through the strewn items.

"What's wrong?!"

"I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Sorry, not a drinking joke, exactly.
 
Status
This old topic is closed. If you want to reopen this topic, contact a moderator using the "Report Post" button.