English is a strange language

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cal i don't drink anymore. (no more pot either)

not a bad idea... actually, quite a good one... not that long ago i did the same thing and stopped using pot, along with several other nasties, and i think after about only a couple of weeks of being clean, my IQ would have doubled... seriously, it gives you dumb factor like nothing else!
 
Happy masturbating!

here's something to make even more hapiness:

a scientific study showed that the more you mastubate, the less chance you have of getting prostate cancer! (yes this is true!)

if this is the case, i'm sure other things that produce the same end result would have the same effect, so tell the girlfriend/wife the good news.

now is that an excuse or what?
 
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