My dad has SCLC Lung cancer. - diyAudio
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Old 15th September 2014, 06:36 AM   #1
freax is offline freax  Australia
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Default My dad has SCLC Lung cancer.

He taught me everything I know and played part in getting me into computers/electronics/audio. The doctor says that he has 12 months to 2 years left to live. Doc says that its too risky to perform Radiation Therapy. I think me and mum are going to talk with the doctor and see if we can get someone else to do it or change this doctors mind. Dad is 70 years old and has extensive health issues.

Charcot Marie Tooth disease (Pheripheral Neuropathy)
Diabetes
Back injury due to a truck accident in 1984.
Wheelchair bound.
Also a bit of a pain.

But nothing that I would think would cut him out of RT.

At the ripe young age of 7 he sat me on his knee and put a soldering iron in my hands and I learnt how to solder.

I also lost my uncle last year. I made a post about it on here somewhere.

I just wanted to share my pain and sympathize with everyone out there who has been or is currently being affected by cancer. The unknown of it all is what is causing me grief the most at the moment.
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Last edited by freax; 15th September 2014 at 06:44 AM.
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Old 15th September 2014, 09:30 AM   #2
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I feel your pain...
One question I would have is, what does HE want?
Does he want to spend the next two years running from one hospital to another to live another month, or does he prefer to live the next two years as intensely with you as possible, in return for a few months less?
Don't know if the numbers are right, but I hope you see what I mean.

I wish you and your family much wisdom and strength.

Jan
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Old 15th September 2014, 10:35 AM   #3
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I know what you are going through. My dad died from cancer a few years ago.

Sometimes the doctors are wrong, sometimes they are right. My dads doctors said another surgery would do more harm than good. Maybe they were right, maybe they were wrong. I don`t know.

The most important thing you can do is to make the most of the time you have left with your dad. Make some new happy memories, even if it can be hard at times.
I didn`t do that, I could not accept the fact that my dad was going to die, and that is my biggest regret in my life.
When I finally realized that he was really going to die it was too late. You don`t get a second chance with death.

Don`t make the mistake I did.


I wish you and your family loads of happy new memories!

Peter
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Old 15th September 2014, 12:05 PM   #4
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about 4 years ago my dad got a very similar diagnosis 9 months to a year stage 4 sclc.The docters did recommend RT and my father did not want the RT but my mother pushed and he reluctantly agreed. When the RT didnt work my mother took him to one of the "best " cancer hospitals in the world .they tried experimental drugs to no avail .the initial diagnosis of 9 months was correct.
the lessons i learned were that some doctors were accurate if tough and some gave false hope just to placate my mother all the treatments did nothing but make my dad sick he didnt want to do them and we should have listened but my mother's emotions took control.
i agree with everyone else that the best advice is to spend as much time with him as you can. I quit a job to spend 5 months with my dad and it was one of the best decision ive ever made . It was quality time. he got my first crystal radio kit and tolerated my speaker building madness in the basement when my mom got pissed at my huge speakers. i still miss him every day good luck

mark
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Old 15th September 2014, 01:26 PM   #5
Bigun is offline Bigun  Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter M. View Post
The most important thing you can do is to make the most of the time you have left with your dad. Make some new happy memories, even if it can be hard at times.
This is the most important thing anybody will ever say to you on this topic.

I had a friend who also died from this disease - it spread to his brain and he went quickly. Another friend's father is doing much better. You and the doctors won't be able to predict how this situation will evolve. Live for the day, for the week, don't think too far ahead.

If you trust the doctors (and no reason not to) don't go reading too much about this on the internet, it's always depressing and disturbing.Put the issue in a box and hide it at the back of your head, spend the time with your dad.
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Last edited by Bigun; 15th September 2014 at 01:29 PM.
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Old 15th September 2014, 02:03 PM   #6
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Before my father got lung cancer I rarely ever saw him without a cigarette or pipe in his hand. I used to repeat words and phrases to him like "hey, put that out", "don't light that", "don't smoke that", etc. He quit smoking 2 weeks before he was diagnosed with lung cancer because he had trouble breathing. Having fluid drained from his lungs helped. He got taxol and some other drugs, and radiation. The cancer still metasticized to his brain and spinal cord. He died a year after his diagnosis. One thing that anoys me is watching all the tobacco smokers in public looking at me and acting like they enjoy smoking so much. I often tell them about what happened to my father.
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Old 15th September 2014, 02:06 PM   #7
SY is offline SY  United States
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter M. View Post
The most important thing you can do is to make the most of the time you have left with your dad. Make some new happy memories, even if it can be hard at times.
+1000. I wish I'd had that opportunity.
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Old 16th September 2014, 04:52 AM   #8
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My Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 1991. They estimated about 6 months and he was gone in 6 weeks. He was a few months short of 70 at that time, and otherwise in pretty good health.

I started taking my vacation a day or two at a time, so I could spend extended weekends with my Dad. (We lived almost 600 miles apart.) I took one of my older kids (8 and 11 yrs old at that time) along, even though Dad was in bed most of that time and couldn't really "do anything" with his grandkids. I don't know what the kids got out of those trips, but I'm glad I included them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by freax View Post
He taught me everything I know and played part in getting me into computers/electronics/audio . . . .

. . . . At the ripe young age of 7 he sat me on his knee and put a soldering iron in my hands and I learnt how to solder . . . .
The parallels are uncanny, and - to be honest - unsettling to me. A week or so after the diagnosis, I was at work and disassembling a prototype to diagnose some shortcoming. I glanced at what I was doing and saw the small adjustable wrench in my hand. But it wasn't my hand holding that wrench - it was my Dad's hand. The hand that taught me to use tools. I didn't make it back to my cube before I broke out in tears.

(I took the rest of the day off, which did NOT please my supervisor. I'm sure that incident, and my taking the day or two of vacation every week, were factors in the decision to fire me a couple weeks after my Dad died.)

I was with Dad when he died, though he was unconscious for about a day before the end. I have held my children when they took their first breaths, and I held my Dad when he took his last. That seems to complete some kind of sacred circle. There is a mystery - or call it a miracle - at death that's similar in magnitude, though much different in character, than the mystery of birth. I grew up knowing that I probably wanted to be there when my kids were born but nobody ever told me I wanted to be with my Dad when he died. I can't say I was "glad" I was there, but it was the "right" thing to do.

Quote:
. . . I just wanted to share my pain and sympathize with everyone out there who has been or is currently being affected by cancer . . . .
Five years ago this month my wife started the process that led to a diagnosis of breast cancer. She underwent a mastectomy, chemo, and radiation treatments. She is still quite alive and we marked our 40th wedding anniversary about a month ago. There is still cause for hope against this family of diseases.

Dale
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Old 17th September 2014, 03:21 AM   #9
freax is offline freax  Australia
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Thanks for the replies.

Unfortunatley my father is of the Jehovah's Witness faith and as a result I think that the doctors refuse to operate on him because of the No-Blood transfusion card/beliefs.

So either we can convince the doctors to operate based under those conditions or he dies. it should be an easy operation, simply cut out the affected part of the lung. it hasn't spread yet (his lymph nodes are clear.)

I as the youngest of the family simply have no idea what to do. I'm going to tell my brother and sister whats happened so far thats about as much as I can do.

It really screws with your head that your father wants to die, He has mentioned in hospital to the doctors that he doesn't want to be revived and that he "wants to die" repeatedly. so that I think has played a part too in why they won't operate.
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Last edited by freax; 17th September 2014 at 03:25 AM.
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Old 17th September 2014, 05:12 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freax View Post
Unfortunatley my father is of the Jehovah's Witness faith and as a result I think that the doctors refuse to operate on him because of the No-Blood transfusion card/beliefs.

So either we can convince the doctors to operate based under those conditions or he dies . . .

. . . he "wants to die" repeatedly. so that I think has played a part too in why they won't operate.
I can't help you with that. This is a legal matter in the U.S. I'm out on a limb here, but in the U.S. I believe he has a right to choose or reject treatment unless there has been a legal ruling that he is unfit to make such decisions, or he has given specific legal authority (I think it's called a "Power of Attorney") to somebody else to act on his behalf. Your laws are probably different.

Does your Dad have a pastor or spiritual advisor who can refer you to a doctor who is sympathetic to their beliefs, and qualified to review your Dad's case?

I wish for you all the wisdom you need to deal with this situation, and peace from knowing you acted honorably, compassionately and to the best of your ability.

Dale
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