I'm in the middle of a Divorce, any advice? - diyAudio
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Old 18th July 2014, 03:50 PM   #1
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Default I'm in the middle of a Divorce, any advice?

me standing: "Hi guys, my name's Jeff and I'm in the middle of a divorce."
guys: "Hi, Jeff!"

Like at an AA meeting or something...

It's been a bit rocky and we have a beautiful young son.

Just noticed a couple of members talking about #2 and #3.

So any good advice?

Thanks,
Jeff
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Old 18th July 2014, 03:57 PM   #2
esgigt is offline esgigt  Netherlands
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No good advice... but I hope my sympathy will do for now..
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:00 PM   #3
RNMarsh is offline RNMarsh  United States
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Get thru it as fast as you can. The pain is less if the time is short.
If you can, stay friends. I am friends with two ex. be generous.
Let any and all material things go. You can get such things back again, later.
Get Joint Custody.

-RM
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:03 PM   #4
mk57 is offline mk57  United States
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Been there done that..advice...cut your throat and get it over with...on seconded thought get a really really good attorney!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck my man
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:28 PM   #5
SY is offline SY  United States
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Lawyer up ASAP. You still might be screwed, though.
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:30 PM   #6
chrisb is offline chrisb  Canada
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try to remain friends - you'll feel better about yourself when the dust settles, and remember every thing we do is as a role model for our kids
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:38 PM   #7
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There are so many variables. Who's fault? Yours, hers or both? Who earns the most money? Any possible future pension plans or benefit plans? Is either partner going to move far? If you go to court, add another $10,000. That is what I was told anyways. I have friends who divorced and are still friends others who would gladly take out a contract on their ex if they could get away with it. Go see a lawyer who specialises in family law. It will cost you $200-400 for an hours advice. It may be the best $400 you spent.
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:38 PM   #8
waxx is offline waxx  Belgium
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i can only speak from being a child from divorced parents, but i've seen both scenario's. My parents arranged it fast and calm, and they both own a big house, they both see their children very often and they are still good friends. They even went on holiday toghetter with their new partners a few years ago.

The sister of my mother divorced in an endless fight, with a lot of courtcases, and they (she and her ex) got bankrupt, and have a lot of troubles with their kids and are still, 30 years later, fighting for nothing and struggling to pay alll the depts they made during this fight.

so

1. arrange everything calm and honest, and don't take 'revenge' for whatever happened in the past. This will shorten the emotional and material 'pain'. The faster it's done the faster you can move on with your life. Material stuff can be replaced. broken bonds with family often not.

2. Don't use kids (if you have them) as weapons, they need both parents, so find a way to give them unlimited access to you and your partner. They will apreciate it and you will keep a better bond with your kids.

3. Get over it fast, life does not stop with a divorce. Get a new partner and move on.

Last edited by waxx; 18th July 2014 at 04:41 PM.
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Old 18th July 2014, 04:50 PM   #9
srinath is offline srinath  United States
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If you stay friends you will be called upon to do auto repair, moving and other heavy and generally worthless jobs without any benifits.
If you're a jerk, you will likely be called only for the other ... ahem ... more pleasant jobs cos she'd want to avoid the "jerk" ...

You cant let her read this.

Married and already indicating that I'll be a jerk if divorce rears its head, so I've got that going for me.

Cool.
Srinath.
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Old 18th July 2014, 05:17 PM   #10
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Buy a shotgun.
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